The Reward Cycle (a Blessed Marriage)

The Reward Cycle is a result of Husbands showing Love and Wives showing Respect; With Christ in the Center,a Blessed Marriage is inevitable...
Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. (Proverbs 5:18 NLT)
Warren Wiersbe’s commentary on Proverbs 5:
“Solomon admonishes the husband to be captivated with his wife’s live. The word translated captivated also means intoxicated or infatuated. The adulterer watches the river turn into a sewer, but the faithful husband sees the water become wine! That Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding feast is significant, as though he were giving an object lesson concerning the growing delights of marriage.” (John 2:1-11)
Wiersbe continues, “When a husband and wife are faithful to the Lord and to each other, and when they obey Scriptures like 1 Corinth. 7:1-5 and Ephesians 5:22-33, neither of them will look for satisfaction anywhere else. If they love each other and seek to please each other and the Lord, their relationship will be one of deepening joy and satisfaction; they won’t look for the greener grass.”
Wiersbe sums up the Reward Cycle perfectly.
My husband Chuck always says, “If your aim is to please God, then pleasing your spouse will be the easy part.” I think this is so true. As male and female are so different, these differences of course will naturally create conflict. However, when Jesus is the ultimate goal for the husband’s life and Jesus is the ultimate goal for the wife’s, there is harmony and blessings.
I felt overjoyed when Dr. Eggerichs discussed the “Reward Cycle” at the Love and Respect conference. He said if a husband’s conduct is showing love and if a wife’s conduct displays respect, the couples feel energized (The Energizing Cycle). As a natural result of this obedience to God’s Word, the next cycle in a marriage is the Reward Cycle.
Here’ s my personal example- When Chuck and I were dating we would always leave notes to each other in our cars or on the windshield. We would also mail cards to each other to show love and respect. During the early years of our marriage, these little notes were a wonderful way of communicating when we were apart. Even though the technology changed, Chuck and I did not buy cell phones for a long time and we continually wrote notes to each other. I actually was “forced” to have a cell phone by my employer in 2005 for work.
If Chuck was going skate boarding with his friends, he would write me a note saying something like, “Going skating. I love you so much. Will you be mine forever?”
These notes meant so much to me…and they still do.
Here we are now, married almost 11 years and we still write notes to each other. Just this year, when I left to the Women’s Retreat, I made sure I mailed a letter to Chuck on Friday night so he could get it in the mail on Saturday morning while I was away...
There is something so special about our spouses telling us how much they mean to us in a note, letter, card, email or even text message.
I still like to put little notes in Chuck’s lunch telling him that I appreciate him going to work and that I love him…
Forgive me if this sounds corny or mushy…We are simply enjoying the Reward Cycle, the blessing of a fulfilling and satisfying marriage. Now don’t get me wrong, we have had our share of loud arguments, slamming doors, someone leaving to cool off, disagreements on child rearing style, disagreements on finances, etc. but we always end an arguments by saying, “I’m sorry” and “Let’s pray.” Also, remember Jesus said Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. John 15:13
We must lay our lives down DAILY for Jesus and for our spouse.
When you follow Eph 5:33 (wives respect and husbands love) as Wiersbe calls it you will inevitably enjoy “the growing delights of marriage” and as Dr. Eggerichs calls it “The Reward Cycle” or a blessed marriage; I call it awesome!