Pray Alone, Pray Together, Seek Him First, Die to Self and Live Happily Ever After

Chuck and I were so blessed to attend the CCCV Couples Retreat this month August 2012. The guest speaker was Pastor Jon Courson and boy did he bring it! God blessed us couples in attendance and for anyone who did not attend, here are just a few things I learned...

Pastor Jon encouraged all couples to remember that a life focused on Jesus “works.” He shared his testimony and how even in the darkest, most difficult trials God “shows up.”

Pastor Jon shared how Peter walked on water to get to Jesus. Peter saw the waves and began to sink (say in Pastor Jon’s voice “you know the story…”) Matt 14. Peter then cries out, “Lord save me” and Jesus lifts him up, this drenched fisherman and places him in the boat. Pastor Jon reminded us that we too, like Peter need to call out to Jesus. “Lord save me” or “Jesus help me” when the bills pile up. “Jesus help me” when the children are acting up. “Jesus help me” when the job is giving you the blues. “Jesus help me” when you don’t know what to do. So simple, so practical. That’s what I love about Pastor Jon’s teaching style. He is truly gifted by our Creator.

The Saturday morning session focused on prayer. He discussed how he prays out loud. Why? He said that when we pray silently we tend to get distracted. Praying out loud causes you to focus your mind, heart and words to the Father. He said that even when he can’t pray out loud, he moves his lips in prayer. I loved this! The disciples asked Jesus, “Teach us to pray” not teach us to preach, teach us to do miracles, teach us to be good Bible teachers. No, they asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. Many of Jesus’ prayers Pastor Jon pointed out are recorded because He prayed them out loud!!

Although we can’t become religious on the “how to’s” of prayer, the point is DO IT! Pray to Jesus daily. Pray to Jesus for your marriage, for your spouse, for your children. Talk to Him! Talk to ME Jesus cries out. Don’t look to your spouse to be your savior. Sure, we all know Jesus is our savior. He died on the cross for our sins. But who is “your de facto savior” Pastor Jon asked us. What is a “de facto” savior you might ask. (de facto means custom or practice)

A de facto savior is your daily savior, your “go to” daily savior. Pastor Jon said in a crisis where do you go…To the TV remote control? Or to the fridge for a comfort food? Or do you go to the internet? Or do you go shopping? Or do you vent to someone? Who is your daily savior? Your spouse can’t solve your problems…you need to take your problems to Jesus! He is not only our savior spiritually but He is our DAILY savior. (That was such an important reminder to me! I need to take all my cares, big and small to Jesus and not lay my burdens on my spouse)

When a couple is practicing Matt 6:33, when each partner is seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness, then all these things will be added to you. The wife must have her own devotional life with Jesus. The husband must have his own devotional life, prayer time and alone time with Jesus. Then together, the puzzle fits and the marriage is blessed!

Those who are married Paul said, live as you are not. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) Pastor Jon pointed out, this 1 Corinthians 7 passage is an odd scripture to highlight in a couples retreat. However, it was very applicable. Remember when you first got saved? You spent so much time getting close to Jesus. Now, wife you are focused on dinner and the kids and laundry, etc. Husband, you used to get up early and read your Bible and listen to worship and bless God for His goodness. Now you are tired from work, you are overwhelmed with financial responsibilities and need time to just “veg out” when you get home. Live as if you are not married! Spend time with Jesus, focusing on Him and His love for you. Then, don’t try to have a good marriage, just let Jesus have His way. Basically, the point was live every day to it’s fullest for God, focusing on God, being passionately in love with God, and then the marriage will fall into place (Matt 6:33 again). It was so simple and yet so amazing--- Take your focus off your spouse and put your focus back on the first person you were married to--- JESUS.

Die to Self

Yes yes yes! We need to die to self in marriage Pastor Jon reminded us. Not only does this please God and form in us Christ-like character, but dying to self produces LIFE. When something dies, there is always new life as a result. A seed dies so it can sprout roots and become a plant. A wife dies to her fleshly desires and her marriage is alive as a result. A husband dies to his fleshly desires and his marriage is alive as a result.

Love and Respect

Pastor David reminded us about love and respect from Ephesians 5:22-33. Husbands love your wives. Not Hollywood love, but love your wives as Christ loved the church. That is sacrificial love. Wives respect your husbands and submit to them. A husband is the leader of the home and a wife honors him by respecting his decisions. (Pastor Jon spoke on this also, wives we have Sarah’s example. If we submit to our husbands, God will protect us and bless us as we yield to our husband’s decisions and authority in the home)

The entire weekend was sooo good! I highly encourage you to attend a couples retreat. Spouses need time to be alone and get refreshed in the Word and spend time with God and each other. I was blessed just not having to cook or do dishes, or change diapers let alone hear Pastor Jon teach, Pastor David teach, enjoy a Christian comedian and have so many wonderful conversations and dates with my best friend and husband.

Take aways:

Jesus says, “Talk to me” (Prayer)

Die to Self so that Life can Spring Forth in your Marriage (Sacrifice)

Matt 6:33 (Seek Jesus and have your own devotional time with Him and all these things will be added to you)

Husbands Love, Wives Respect

and they live happily ever after…. :)