On the Throne

Yesterday was one of those hugely rough days. On the way to driving Olivia to school I kept  telling her how overwhelmed  I felt ...
I literally just stopped talking to her and  broke into prayer out loud. I reminded myself of who God is...and that He knows the end from the beginning that He is the great I am and He is in control and He will work all things together for good.
Over the last few months there have been so many tragedies and trials brought to my attention. There have been triumphs and victories and amazing answers to prayer.

I expressed to Chuck that I needed to let it out. I needed to cry.
I try my best to leave things at the foot of the cross but my emotions linger.
My emotions don't listen to the Spirit which says "it's going to be ok- God is fighting this battle for your friend who is hurting !"
As an intercessor, it's easy to carry burdens that don't belong to you...
We are not mother hens, we are co-laborers in Christ.
So here is an encouraging prayer I'm writing to the Lord and God willing it will encourage you too.
Lord I am so mad at the injustices I see in the world. I am so frustrated how people focus on the trivial instead of the eternal.
While so many of us are focusing on that last minute Christmas gift others have had their heart pulled out from them because they will not see their child on Christmas they have to share their child's time with the other parent.
Lord God children were not meant to be shared between two households, like if they are a commodity, children were created to be gifts and blessings nourished by both parents in one home for your glory and honor.
"Why can't we all just get along?" Rodney King cried out - there are deep-rooted issues and I wish people would get along. There are icebergs of unforgiveness that only Christ can destroy with His love and the flame in his eyes. Why do the sweetest people have to get cancer? It seems so unfair... Why do the loving Christian workers get persecuted on the job? Why do people reject you over and over again?  Oh Lord we were not meant for this earth. Death does sting (but only on earth). Watching friends grieve is so painful. Broken bodies, broken spirits broken marriages broken families....I've seen this a lot lately...but you know what I rarely see? Brokenness over pride. Pride keeps us from you God. If a family is hurting - you are the healer. If a friend grieves the death of a loved one, you are the comforter. If a husband or wife walks out, you are the redeemer and you promise to never leave us nor forsake us. God who cares about bank accounts, the perfect job, perfect body perfect house. None of these things satisfy. Nothing satisfies- only you. Lord forgive me forgive us for focusing on the world and its problems instead of focusing on YOU the problem solver. That's what Christmas is all about. YOU! you died for us and we are simply pilgrims on our way home. Provide relief Lord. Provide respite for your sons and daughters that are tired of seeing Satan steal joy. May you remind us our internal and eternal joy can't ever be removed because
YOU
Are
On
The
THRONE!!!


Revelation 5:13
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying: "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever"
AMEN

Scripture references:
Revelation 19:12
Romans 8:28
Psalm 127:3
1 Corinth 15:55-56



I have Learned to be Content

I have learned to be content….Phil 4:11

I was putting Isaac to sleep the other night and feeling sad about autism.

He doesn’t say new things. He says the same thing.

Lay down…sleepy.

He is now 8 ½ almost 9 and I am human. I get sad. I wish he could have a conversation with me.

But I don’t want to stay there.

 So I reflect on what God has done.

Self talk: I remind myself what God has done.

Remember when you prayed and prayed for Isaac to talk?

God answered that prayer

Remember when you prayed and prayed Isaac would be potty trained?

God answered that prayer.

Remember when you prayed and asked God to help Isaac not bite other kids at school?

God is answering this prayer

Remember you asked God for break throughs? 

Like for Isaac to sleep through the night because he would wake up 2-3 times a night and start playing very loud and you had broken sleep for 6 straight years?

He sleeps through the night now doesn’t he? Yes.

I have learned to be content.

I find myself fighting with myself.

On one hand I am thrilled at all the break throughs and miraculous answers to prayer God has moved mightily in Isaac’s life. I am so full of joy.

On the other hand…Isaac still has autism and some days and/or moments are hard.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

I stopped and meditated on this verse. I tried to put myself in Paul’s shoes.

He was shipwrecked, persecuted, imprisoned, stoned, hungry, cold…etc.

I have learned to be content. Phil 4:11

Then I meditated on the word “learn” My husband is a teacher and we always talk about the learning process.

That’s it!!!

It’s a process…I have learned to be content. It’s not like a light bulb. It’s a daily sacrificial learning. 

Some days are great and I am learning to be content. Somedays are hard and I have to re-learn to be content. I will get there…I will with God’s grace say like Paul “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances”

It’s a learning process. We “LEARN” how to be content by reminding ourselves of God’s character (through His names) and by meditating on His promises.

I have learned to be content.

I like the ESV

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."

May we put the enemy in his place. 

May we tell our emotions- NO. I am not going there..I am not going to feel sorry about this circumstance 

I am going to learn to be content and in that state I find JOY in His presence!

Olivia blessed my heart. She said her friends were arguing and she did not change her mood. She continued to try to crack jokes and stay calm. “Why are you so nice?” they asked her. “I am just trying to be like my mom. Even when situations are hard…she stays happy” she said.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. If my daughter is learning this and putting it into practice all I can say is Glory to God. Wow, what a Great God we serve!

Fragile

I went on a walk today and the Lord spoke this to me:

Fragile - handle with care

I'm fragile Lord.
I'm Emotional. I'm about to break down any minute
I know my daughter - I will handle you with care. You have always been fragile to me. Prone to damage if not handled with care. Your fragility is not a weakness, it's your greatest asset. I made you to feel. I made you to care. I made you this way. If you did not feel vulnerable you might never come to me...
But you do come...you come frequently and I love it. I love our time together. So sing on. Weep if you need to, because I'm holding you, my daughter, my little girl.

Why the thorn?

Why the thorn?

Satan is a big coward. He won't even talk to me when I have my robe of righteousness on. Christ's love is like of force field. He just runs away.

No.

He only comes around when I'm down. When my mind is so caught up in the pain and frustration that I neglect to put my armor on. And I become consumed with my thorn.

Like Job, may I come before you so bold to ask a question?

Why the thorn Lord?
Why this thorn?
Why me? Why now? Why this?

A thorn pierces and that's exactly how I feel, pierced through. Cut to pieces.
Can't you take it away? I know you can, but you won't. You already told me.
Your grace is sufficient. Just like you told Paul, you tell me.

He had a thorn too.

What Lord? Are you speaking?
If so I'm listening. I don't want to miss this lesson, I don't want to waste this pain.

It's as though you're reminding me you put this thorn there- deliberately, intentionally not to harm ....but to protect.

How can a thorn protect? This thorn is a symbol of constant pain. A wounded warrior I am...

This thorn you say, is there intentionally, it's protecting you from wandering, it's protecting you from complacency, it's protecting you from self-harm- yes my child- self harm- harm to self. I see you child. I see the real you and I see the potential for self harm. This thorn as sharp as it is, is there to keep you close to me and that's what you really want- ME. All of me. Not an American version of me, or a version of me you developed on your own, but the real me---
The Great I AM.
Holy.
Exalted.
Loyal.
Loving.
Powerful.
Pure.
Sovereign.
Majestic
Beautiful.
All Consuming.
The only One Capable of Filling the hole in your heart
Me, Your Father

You asked why the thorn, well I can't fully answer you, you don't have the capacity to understand now; you will never fully understand until you arrive- in my kingdom- where the thorns grow no more...

Why I am Not A Cool Mom

Why I'm not a cool mom.

I am not your pal. I'm your mom.

Years ago I worked at Contempo and Wet Seal. I was amazed at some moms who wore similar outfits as their daughters trying to be "hip and cool". Moms who might allow their child to drink coffee at 8 years old and be their child's friend.

As my daughter is entering 5th grade and the tween phase I find myself reminding her -  "I'm not your friend- I'm your mom"

I remind her that the Bible instructs "children obey your parents" (Colossians 3:20) and "honor your father and mother" (Exodus 20:12)

If her tone is not right or she rolls her eyes I remind her that she must respect me and this behavior is not ok.

The other night we had a very beautiful conversation after night devotions.
She said  "Mom, if I ever walk away from the Lord's path will you bring me back?" I answered :
"I can't do that Olivia. Only YOU can in your heart come back to the Lord"
She replied "What I meant was, will you always encourage me to come back to Him if I ever walked away?" "Yes, always" I answered.
One of my favorite New Testament people in the Bible is Barnabas- the encourager. (Acts 4:14)
Parents are to always encourage their children - to set them up for success in their goals and walks with God-To build them up--To be more like a coach, less like a friend.
Kids don't always like their coaches. Coaches push and encourage their athlete to try their best- coaches see the ability in the athlete beyond what he/she sees in him/herself.
I was so blessed my daughter asked me to always encourage her. That is so important to me. We can't be too militant because that's not loving and we can't be a friend because kids need discipline.
We must be a mom after Gods own heart, a dad after Gods own heart- and this goal is really, really painstakingly hard.

We must admit when we mess up.
Pray through tears.
Say yes as the Lord leads and say no as the Lord leads and truly be an epistle for our child to read.
Imitate me Paul said. (1 Corinthians 11:1)
How many parents can say that to their kids?

"Act just like me baby girl."
"Act just like me mijo."

Most of us cringe at that...We DON'T want our kids to act like us. We are a work in progress, flawed to the core.

If our kids see us as human - fail sometimes yes- succeed sometimes yes- but in all circumstances we put Christ first, then we can say "imitate me, as I imitate Christ"

You may never be a cool mom or cool dad but you'll be planting seeds of love and Truth in them day after day- and that's FAR more important.

Motives

Sometimes the Lord parks me on a verse of a word.

I can't shake this word- MOTIVE.

Motive: definition -a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious.

synonyms:reason, motivation, motivating force, rationale, grounds, cause, basis, object, purpose, intention

A motive can be completely subtle or even unrecognized.

For example, a motive for exercising can be one of the following : I want to look good in a swim suit or I want to be healthy. Or a combination.

I think we are so busy we don't often think of motives. 

If we slow down enough we might get scared of our motives --- why?

Many of our motives are not good and are self centered.

If you ask a student why he/she tries hard in school the student may reply "so I can get into a good college?"

But why?

"So I can get a good career "

But why? 

"So I can make a good salary."

But why?

"To make money - lots of money."

Aha! That's the true motive. 

In our walks with the Lord I want to challenge myself and I encourage you to challenge yourself too asking

• What's my motive? What is my reason for doing this?

Many times we do things because they are expected of us. Many times we do things because we feel the need to be accepted. But if we really truly stop and see why we do what we do--we might not see Jesus as the central reason. 

Our motives can be mixed or off balance or wrong all together .

Example:

Morning devotions-

Q-Why have them?

A- I read my Bible in the morning because that's what my parents taught me to do.

A- I read devotions because it's a good way to start the day.

A- I read because I want to be a good Christian.

Now I highly encourage all parents to teach their kids to read their Bibles. 

I strongly believe and agree reading the Word is the best way to start the day.

I agree that reading the Word daily is a key component to waking with the Lord and abiding and bearing fruit.

But....

The proper Biblical motive to waking up and having devotions should be

• So I can know Jesus more (Phil  3:10, Luke 10:27)

It is oh so subtle. The enemy the flesh and the world all work together to distort our views and twist our motives. (1 John 2:16)

We've got to get this right. This is super important for revival- we need to put Jesus back in the center again. 

Not activities- not social clubs, not disciplines that don't have meaning -not saying one thing and doing another not saying one thing and MEANING something else - but our true motive and reason for EVERYTHING should be- TO EXALT AND GLORIFY the Name of JESUS. Phil 2:9-13

We can't miss this.

We can't do the right thing for the wrong reason. 2 Corinthians 13:5 We need to return to our first love. (Rev 2:4 NLT I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first!)

Jesus said if you have something against your brother - before you give your gift to the Lord- make up- repent- and ask for forgiveness. Matt 5:24

Why is this so important to Jesus?

Jesus always looks at the heart.  ALWAYS. (See Matthew Ch 5 and Ch 6)

Matthew 6:1 "Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven." NLT 

Josh Bowers (Fresh Life church- from the Summer Fruit series) talked about serving out of guilt. He shared how some people serve because they feel they owe God something - "don't do God any favors" he said- the price has been paid! John 3:16, Matt11:28 

For the JOY set before Him Jesus went to the cross. It is for joy. We should be motivated by love and serve out of an overflowing joy filled heart.

Hebrews 12:1-2  -Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NIV)

Notice the encouragement above is to fix your eyes on Jesus. We need to check and double check our motives.

May God give us pure hearts and may the Holy Spirit refine us and prune us so our motives are always Christ centered and not Christ sidelined.  

Confessions of a prom queen

Confessions of a prom queen

Wait- what?
Yes I was prom queen. 1997.
May is the month for moms and proms.
So here we go...
Walk with me down memory lane
Next year will be 20 years since I graduated high school. (Wow!) and all of a sudden the Lord struck my mind with memories...
Not of prom ... But of the young me...
Our fellowship Calvary Chapel Chino Valley has been using the month of May to help the youth with identity struggles.
They have tackled issues such as body image, eating disorders, cutting, homosexuality, etc.
High school years for most people are extremely awkward and heart wrenching.
But for me, I always loved school, loved activities, loved friends. It was bliss.
I excelled at many things.
But I still needed God.

Here's my prom story-

Obligatory backstory first  (I'll keep it brief)
It didn't bother me much that people called me teacher's pet or joked that I was the smartest kid in class.
I wasn't the smartest kid. I simply loved school and had an enthusiasm for learning and loved sharing what I had learned.
I was the first person to raise my hand, volunteer an answer or write  on the board.
I won student of the year in 5th grade.
Lots of honor rolls, etc
Fast forward to High school. I had not completely walked away from the Lord...but I sure let a big distance creep in.
I got good grades, tried to stay away from drugs, took my SATs...was active in drill team ... Tried out for swim ( I was super slow...short legs I guess- humor- you can laugh)
Then senior prom time.
Some friends mentioned my name. I was nominated.
I won.
Every little girls dream. Hold the roses, get a crown, dance a dance, college bound...
I still remember my parents asking me "can you call us when you find out if you've won or not- call us either way" I had to use a pay phone- no cell phones yet
It was a fun experience ...
The reason I'm sharing this is because I know there are a great many kids out there like me (or rather how I was growing up ) NOT doing outwardly bad things. Getting good grades, obeying parents, involved in activities.
These honor roll kids need God too.
I remember one night going to bed and literally feeling like I had it all.
I have friends, a boyfriend, leader on my drill team, good grades, fun times, parents who love me- I won the prom queen! I have a lot going good for me...right now.
But there was still a void.
I needed Jesus.
This is why I'm writing this blog-
GOOD KIDS NEED JESUS TOO.
Moms, dads, aunts, uncles---There is a sea of uncharted territory out there-- a mission field -
Good kids.
(Good in the worldly sense, of course Gods Word says there is none who does good not one) Psalm 14:2-3
I knew I had a wall up with God. That wall was sin.
I felt convicted but I didn't know how to move forward. I started attending church (by then I was a teen, I drove myself and started going to a youth group too)
One day I got on my knees in my bedroom at the age of 18 and I said I was sorry for my sins. I confessed that I had been leading my own life instead of letting God lead me.
I was never the same.
I know if you are reading this you might be thinking of a friend or family member who has always been a "good person"
Don't stop praying for them.
Don't be fooled ...
They still need the Gospel, they still need to be born again.
Pray.
Pray for the people in your life who appear to have it all together.
Remember it just looks good on the exterior. Without God and Christ's blood we all perish. John 3:16
We need Him and we need Him bad.
Christ is our identity ---not the good we've done or the bad we've done.
No good deed is good enough to get to heaven, and no bad deed is bad enough to separate you from Gods love.
It's all grace.
I'm thankful for Gods love in saving me and using me- I'm not worthy of any of it- but I accept His gift.
I see a lot of myself in my daughter. She is very driven and at times gets upset if something is scary or not going her way. I encourage her to go to Jesus with any problem ...for He is always the right answer.

Your Will be done- Letting God Order From the Menu

"I'll have what He's having"

Matt 6:10-

Jesus teaches us to pray. He says "your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" 

We pray this constantly-

God -your will be done. 

One commentary said 

The thought is not merely God's will realized in this or that action, whether performed or endured by us (. Matthew 26:42; Acts 21:14), but God's will as a whole coming into full being.

So Gods will coming into full being- how can we include this in our prayer lives? 

His residence in Us He - Christ Making us Whole

Praying "His will be done" is actually a prayer of surrender.

 pastor Levi Lusko said this---

"I'll have what He's having"

It really struck me and I want to help illustrate. 

Imagine you walk into a French restaurant. The entire menu is in French and you have no idea what to order. 

The person you're with is French born and raised he knows the menu inside and out and understands the language and He knows the cuisine. 

He orders.

Then you say

"I'll have what he's having."

You trust him because he knows- he has full knowledge of the menu and what is best - 

So you trust his meal selection 

Rather than ordering something that might be subpar or just out right gross you trust him you say I'll have what he's having.

That is what we are saying when we pray

Your will be done.

Jesus lives to make intercession for us. So we pray your will be done we are saying God you know my heart and know I would like to live in a different  neighborhood  or that I would like to see you work in this area but nevertheless I'll have what he's having -Jesus you have a better knowledge of me better than I even know myself and you know what I need so I'm going to trust you and what your will is for me, so if I have prayed anything that is not pleasing to you I give you permission to cancel it out ---I trust you. 

Another example is with parenting-

I don't know what it is about motherhood that can make us so sad at times---

We pray this child would be better at math we pray that child would mind her manners-

And why won't any of them clean their rooms. 

God I need help- ugh no God takes too long I'll just do it all myself-

I will whip this child into shape I'll get a tutor for the math and I'll clean their rooms myself ---

We in essence have an agenda a preconceived notion of what motherhood is supposed to be or what it's supposed to look like---

When it doesn't look right, we get grumpy mad at our husbands and sometimes even mad at God.

So what if your child likes to play in the mud?  let him. Pray and ask God to show you his heart for your kids.

Your will be done Lord, I'll have what you're having 

I share this because I want you to know that it's ok to want things- good things - but what you want maybe good, God wants to give you His best! We have to trust Him when we pray..

Really really trust him

Colossians 1:9 

"So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding."

Let Him order from the menu-

God is the chef, the inventor of the dish, the designer of the food menu, the creator and cultivator of every good and perfect gift, He knows- He knows what's best- it is not easy but may we yield to Him in our prayers and  learn to say your will be done! "I'll have what you're having Jesus I trust you"

Not Why, but What

Many parents with children on the spectrum are concerned about their child's ability to become potty trained.

The reality is they don't make pull-ups in size 10.

When you change a diaper of a five-year-old it's not pretty. Isaac's journey of potty training started like most other children around three years old. Then four years old then five years old ...

I  began to think he would never fully get it.

We tried all of the techniques --rewards chart, candy, stickers, praise, etc.

Nothing seemed to work. I even remember reaching out to regional center and asking them for help.

I need professional help! I need a full-time assistant that can follow Isaac around and take him potty every hour on the hour. I tried to get this approved by regional center but it did not go through. Finally, I  turned to fervent and specific prayer and continued to cry out to God.

Chuck and I were constantly praying and asking God to help Isaac  learn how to use the potty. One summer I became extremely overwhelmed. I had cleaned up poop from the restroom wall and my sons body and out of his underwear and out of his pants one too many times. I began to sob loudly.
"What Lord ?what is it you're trying to teach me through this? I'm not going to ask you why I just want to know what ??? what lesson am I supposed to learn from this?"

I did not get a booming voice from heaven. But what I got was an answer to my prayers. I was learning humility. God was teaching me to be humble and teaching me that I would need to be there for my son no matter how hard no matter the challenge and regardless of how downright gross it would be.

The Lord taught me in all of those potty training moments that there was nothing beyond Gods spotlight. God knows everything he knows the ugly truth, the pain, sorrow and the pit of dirt and shame ...

The religious leaders often scoffed at Jesus because he was reaching out to the rejected of the world the prostitutes the tax collectors.

These people were  the scum of the earth. That's sort of what I was doing. I was helping Isaac in one of the most challenging tasks. As I would clean my son over and over again, God was teaching me not to lose heart not to give up hope on my boy. God doesn't give up on us.

After literally years of working on this ---Isaac was potty trained and I'm proud to say it was through God's help and not one finger of an autism professional. God used me ---little me --to help my son overcome a huge obstacle ---something that would help him in his life forever-using the potty. This part of our journey is very hard for me to share because it really hit me to my core.

Not "why Lord?" But what Lord ?  what are you teaching me?? God wanted to teach me humility and to be able to wait on him and cry and try again. (Isaiah 40:31)

Still to this day I am so proud of my son for learning how to use the potty. It takes persistence and a lot of love and patience to help a child with autism grasp this huge lifelong skill. The reality is there are children on the spectrum and adults that can't do this. This was a huge breakthrough for Isaac this was a huge breakthrough for my family and just one little glimpse of what it's like on our journey with autism...
Phil 4:13

The Disciples View of Good Friday

Good Friday from the disciples was a terrible Friday - it was diagnosis day-
It's cancer
He's not going to make it
Your child has a rare disease
I'm leaving you for another woman
Good Friday was death of a dream
Their dreams and hopes were in Jesus the man they walked with for 3 years- the messiah
But now he is dead-
Guess we were wrong
He's not the chosen one
Isn't it just like us that they focused on what their eyes could see?
They saw Jesus hanging from the cross and COULD NOT FATHOM the reality he would rise again
I don't know why but this Good Friday I am putting myself in the disciples sandals.
All their dreams and hopes were dead literally
Have you been there?
When my sister Patty was diagnosed with cancer she was not even 40 and she said I don't know how people can deal with this without God.
That's the source of our hope- God.
The disciples focused on THEIR SPECIFIC DREAMS not on Gods plan of salvation.
What if Jesus said "I really love my disciples they have stuck with me through thick and thin guess I won't go to the cross because that will disappoint them..."
No.
Jesus had a BIGGER plan a bigger dream
He needed to die ---that was the reason he came.
I go back to Gen 22:12-14
 And He (the LORD)said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”
Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son. And Abraham called the name of the place, The-Lord-Will-Provide;[b] as it is said to this day, “In the Mount of the Lord it shall be provided.

On that same exact mountain that God provided Abraham with a ram, God would  provide the LAMB.

What dreams are you witnessing death to?

Pastor Britt Merrick's daughter died of cancer- he never saw her get married
Pastor Steve Mays died, Gail Mays will not celebrate another wedding anniversary or watch a grandbaby enter this world with him.
My son has autism, he will not likely participate in sports like typical kids- something my husband  and I had always looked forward to
My friend and her husband could not get pregnant - the dream of feeling a flutter in her tummy is dead

We all have dreams and hopes. We all have a time in our life that feels like a good Friday.
But we need to take our eyes off of self and focus on the Truth of Gods Word
God is for me and not against me Rom 8:31
Gods plan for me is good and not evil Jeremiah 29:11
Jesus  will return again and he is preparing a place for us John 14:2
Tear down this temple and in three days I will raise it up John 2:19
Jesus is the resurrection and the life. John 11:25
Trust God that His  dreams for you are better than your dreams for yourself Prov 3:5-6
Good Friday is the perfect example of this Truth!!

Remember- Forget NOT His benefits

It's Easter season...
Crosses in windows...Easter egg hunts advertised everywhere....
As believers we are thrilled to celebrate our hero and His breakthrough. His destruction of death.
Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday.


Psalm 103:2 says "Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
the NLT says "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."

Pastor Chad Veach mentioned this verse in 2013 in his message to Fresh Life Church. His testimony has really ministered to me.
He has a daughter with special needs, she has a brain disorder.
He discusses in his book "Unreasonable Hope" how one huge way he has endured this trial is by remembering...
He chooses to forget NOT all of God's benefits.
He chooses to never forget the good things God has done.

This one word "remember" has been ringing in my ear and resonating in my Spirit for a few weeks now.

In Fervent, Priscilla Shirer asks her grandmother why she writes down her prayers in a prayer journal, she says ---so she won't forget.

I love photos. I have film photos. I have polaroids from elementary school. I absolutely adore looking through photos (you may have noticed this...I go a little crazy on Throwback Thursday on my instagram)

But here's the thing....we are a forgetful people. I can sit with my husband and tell him "Remember when?" More often than not my husband says "I don't remember that!"

It's not about reflecting on the good ole days...it's about recalling fond memories of God's glorious works, His miracles, His answers to prayers (yes, no or wait) and His hand upon my life. 

I try to remember every day how God has answered so many prayers by giving Isaac speech. When I get frustrated because Isaac forgot to flush the toilet, I remember, there was a time I prayed and prayed and prayed for him to just learn how to use the potty. And he can. And we are thankful. 

When I look in my home, I remember how I grew up with 1 bathroom for many people. Now I have 2 bathrooms in my home---GLORIOUS.

Sometimes I even look in my purse and find money. I recall when I was a teen and even 1 dollar meant I was rich! I could buy a soda or a bean burrito from Taco Bell. You get the picture.

Remind yourself.

We sing "I remind myself of all that you've done. And the life I have because of your Son"

This is what Easter is all about- reminding ourselves of the victory of the cross.

Sometimes I think we sanitize Easter. We know the story all too well.

Can you imagine being spit at?

Can you imagine being beaten while blind folded?

Can you imagine the pain of watching your friends leave you?

Can you imagine the pain of looking down at your mom, the one who cleaned every boo-boo you ever had, every scraped knee, now looking up at you dying a sinner's death and there was nothing she could do about it? Call the ACLU? No. Call a lawyer for failure to read him his Miranda rights? No. She could do nothing...nothing but watch in horror.

And what about the two gangsters next to you?

They deserved their death. They were guilty guilty guilty.

And what did they do? They joined in the mockery. You were the butt of jokes, even on the cross, people were laughing and sneering.

(Now this part I hate. It always gets me.) 

The purple robe and crown of thorns. Royalty putting on rags. King of all authority wearing blood drops on his head where the thorns pierced through the already bruised and beaten forehead. 

Then they strip the robe off peeling layers of bloody skin that dried to it and gamble for the robe.

When you truly create the Biblical image of the cross in your mind it makes you sick to your stomach....and that is not even the full picture. We can only visualize the best we can, but the truth is, the cross was worse- more horrific than we can ever dream.

Yet He did it for you and me.

So how can we NOT remember??

How can we NOT choose daily to remember His blessings BIG and small?

Here's what happens.

We get comfortable. We get comfortable in our "day in and day out" of life that we forget.

It's not intentional...It's just part of our brain- we are forgetful.

NOW how can we fix this?

Well as I mentioned previously I love photos. 

I love to write notes to my husband. 

I love to receive notes from family members and friends.

Let's choose to FORGET NOT His benefits.

Let's write it down. So we can remember. Let's take mental pictures of God's goodness and remind ourselves daily.

Write a thank you note to the LORD (like Keith Green did...He said he wrote a letter to the LORD and put it in His Bible)

Write a list of blessings and pull it out when you are feeling blue.

Choose to remember.

Choose to recall.

The memory is an amazing thing. All it needs is a trigger. That's why we are so blessed to have God's Word. 

The psalms are filled with lists of miracles God did and invites us to remember.

Remember God gave Gideon the victory

Remember God saved Noah and his family

Remember God provided the ram/the sacrifice to be burned instead of Isaac

Remember Joseph and his troubles and how God worked all things together for good

Remember how He used little Esther's beauty to help save the Israelites for total destruction

Remember how God changed Saul into Paul and used him mightily

Remember when God paid that bill for you so miraculously

Remember when the LORD gave you the exact words to share with that stranger

Remember the day you said Yes to Jesus

Remember the cross

I love Psalm 103:2 in NLT it reads "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."

This is Good Friday and Easter. Remembering Jesus. Remembering His goodness to us. Choose to Remember and let not your heart be troubled as you forget NOT His benefits. 

It's Buffering...

Uh oh- It's Stuck!
If you come over my home you will hear Isaac say this. He would get so frustrated when the computer website would not download I told him- use your words--and now he says "computer stuck" The Internet might be buffering or the website might not load correctly- it's stuck-

Last Sunday Robert Baltodano shared from Ecclesiastes 9 and shared about this reality- we are all going to die.

But the truth is we don't think about this every day. We try to avoid this topic.

We know we're going to die and we know we want to live a life of purpose but we get stuck. We get stuck on that hamster wheel of life.

Wake up get a cup of coffee read a couple Bible verses go to work come home cook dinner go to bed wake up do it all again and wait for the weekend.

I challenge you friends where is the purpose in that ?
God did not create us to be hamsters-God created us with purpose each unique by the Master's hand. God sent Jesus not so we can have fire insurance and avoid hell-- but God sent Jesus to give us abundant life.
John 10:10

So what's up?

It's buffering.
It's stuck.
It's loading.
A bad Wi-Fi connection?

Maybe--

Maybe just maybe our computer system of life is buffering---
We acknowledge something  is wrong.
Something just ain't right!

There is something wrong when we see so many marriages failing. There's something wrong that we see so many 25 to 35-year-olds falling away from church and from walking with Jesus. There's something wrong that prayer meetings are so small. There's something wrong that so many servants are spread so thin...
There's something wrong when we see a lot of Moses-type-leaders but where are all the Joshuas?
Where is the passion ?
Where is the zeal?
Many in the church are staring at a computer because well...its buffering
Guess what?
We have a choice!
We can say- "hey wait a minute I'm not content with this hamster wheel life.
I am not content with maintaining the status quo."

Pastor Levi Lusko said every church is either
Risk-Taking
Maintaining
Or Undertaking

We can't sit around and wait for revival- we need to BE the revival.
We need to live passionately for God
We need to wait WITH EXPECTATION for God to move- wait in prayer and praise in the upper room.
We need to wake up and remember
WE ARE IN A WAR Eph 6.
If life seems "cushy and comfortable"
Be careful
You might be asleep- sleep walking
Or you might be slowly becoming numb to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit

Years ago I was participating in a fast.
Just me and Jesus...
Life was going pretty well at that time. No major trials. I just felt led to participate in this fast---
Then I realized something-
"IF YOU ARE NOT IN A TRIAL- PUT YOURSELF IN ONE."

What in the world does that mean?
Trials give us perspective.
Trials wake us up to the desperate need of God.
Just think about 9/11 and how people everywhere we're praying and the Lord used this terrible day to bring unity in our country.

So if you're not in a trial put yourself in one...
Intercede for someone who is hurting! (Care deeply)
Focus on the cross
Focus on praying for the lost
Meditate on verses that cause lamenting and Books like Job, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Lamentations, Psalm 22, 51, etc.
Go there.
Admit to God, "I'm too comfortable and I need you Holy Spirit to help me grieve over lost souls, help me pray without ceasing, show me the areas in my life where I am dead.
REVIVE ME... I admit to you God, my life has been stuck, I've been "buffering" waiting for better Wi-Fi waiting for someone else to do WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ME to do.
Jesus bring me to the cross."

Don't settle.
Life is too short to waste it in the monotony of religious activity- fall crazy in love with Jesus.
Don't wait- step into His will now.

He might be prompting you to take a step of faith. He might ask you to give something up. He might ask you to wake up earlier or stay up later. I don't know what God is telling you because He's personal and He speaks to you through  His word specifically to your heart-

Let's do this! Let's start revival praying and revival living - bye bye hamster wheel- it's about to get REAL!

Set him up for Success- Marriage Workshop

Success

Love mentioned over 300 times in the Bible
But what is love?
Love is agape-
Love is sacrifice
Song by for King and country
Let my life be the proof the proof of your love-
Let me love look like you-
Love is sacrifice
Dr Eggerichs author of Love & respect describes love as thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness

The words "servant, " "service, " and "serve, " in various forms, occur well over 1, 100 times in the Bible
In fact love and serve can be synonyms
 Jesus is love and He said I didn't come to be served but to serve
Love is AGAPE
Love is attractive
Love is sacrificial
Why in marriage is love a challenge? Because you have two sinners intimately glued together-
Recipe for success? Or recipe for disaster
The Bible says wives are helpmates
In the kitchen-that would be the Sous chef
They assist
Sous-Chef is a chef who is "the second in command in a kitchen; the person ranking next after the head chef.
The sous-chef has many responsibilities because the executive chef has a more overarching role. Sous-chefs must plan and direct how the food is presented on the plate, keep their kitchen staff in order, train new chefs, create the work schedule, and make sure all the food that goes to customers is of the best quality to make customers happy-
Basically the sous chef is the wife.

You are the sous chef and the master of the assist

Chris Paul (of the LA clippers) is the great "assist" in basketball- he's self less! As long as his team is winning- he's also winning
I often tell my husband we are a team.
Chris Paul is a great player because he makes other people around him better.
I often tell my husband we are
Team gonzalez
 (My husband says I'm not allowed to be sick- because you're the mvp)

So how can you be successful in marriage?
You Set him up for success
1. S stay spirit filled
Pray every morning
Holy Spirit fill me up!
But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
John 14:26
The Holy Spirit is the Helper the Counselor  the Comforter
"Helper- help me be his helpmate "
Holy Spirit you are welcome here- that's not just for church, we need this in the home-
We need the Holy Spirit to help us in our role in marriage
Eccl 4:9-12

Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.

Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
God is the third cord
Remember your unity candle?
Remember your vows?

For richer or poorer in sickness and health
Trials are inevitable-
We need the Holy Spirits help to stay joy filled during the trials

Let me share an encouraging thought from a Proverbs 31 ministry devotion
 "Difficulties in marriage are hardly positive experiences at the time, yet the Bible paints a beautiful picture of them. The reason is simply because struggles, trials and hard work are part of the development process God uses to get the most out of us and the best for us."
He brings beauty from ashes Isaiah 61:3
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."


2. U unity Jesus prayer for unity in John 17- may they be One as we are One - a house divided cannot stand;  Mark 3:25 NLT -a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. Ladies, please if you have a grudge against your husband  let it go-  forgive him- this is a blessing to God. We need to work with all our might to keep unity- especially in marriage- Eph 4:1-3
3. I, Therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace
4. Serving together- Satan definitely hates a couple that is serving the Lord, so keep your armor on - Eph 6.
Free your husband up to serve and if possible serve together-
And also keep in mind if your husband is a leader  for example in lion tamer's or a men's small group or any ministry by you staying home with the kids or maybe you don't have children and you are at home while he serves- let him- you are partaking of that treasure in heaven. Free him up to serve. This is really important. Especially in the busy day and age we live in we can feel like we want our husbands free time to ourselves. LISTEN -Your husband has gifts that God can use to bless the body of Christ. You should encourage him to serve not discourage him-

3. C communication - updates (know the timing, tone and topic) NOT when he first walks through the door - Eph 5:33 women need love, men need respect- need it. It's the Biblical format for marriage- many times couples fight because they don't know how to communicate effectively -know your husband, study him, know what makes him tick and build him up. Yes there are challenging topics like raising kids, disciplining kids, finances, saving for the future. Where to live, etc. we must watch how we communicate- don't tear him down build him up- speak words seasoned with salt

Col 4:6 says let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Of course this verse applies to our spouse. I challenge you- think about not just what you say but how you say things to your husband- ladies raising your voice is disrespectful- watch this- pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you and if necessary- repent- keep a journal - if you blow it with your tongue - write it down, try to find out what the trigger is- maybe you were hungry or it was a hot topic, or maybe you got overly emotional- for example, if your husband says I like this meal you prepared BUT I don't really like bell peppers, don't take it so personal. Just take a mental note of that and say OK sweetheart. He's not trying to tell you that your cooking is terrible - he is just simply telling you he doesn't like peppers . We as women Often "read into" our husbands words - don't do this. Don't react, pray and let the  Lord speak to you before you speak to him and say something  you might later regret-

3. C cultivate intimacy - intimacy is not just physical which of course is important to share intimate moments- but intimacy it starts in the morning - go on dates. Show kindness to him. Put notes in his lunch bag, text him scripture - treat him nice

4. E enjoy each other- best friend, show kindness to each other LOVE - be a friend - shoulder to shoulder, laugh together, watch AFV together for example - also turn the off button from your busy schedule- get a sitter or take a personal day off from work and go on a date- no cell phones- leave them in the car- take a walk in the park- the beach- Big bear- reconnect, enjoy each other - think about it- many ladies go to the glen ivy or other day spa and catch up with girl friends- do this with your husband- my husband and I once a year go to a bed and breakfast in the Cambria area- or Santa Barbara- - or here's another idea get a hotel even locally just a mini get away helps to refresh and Recharge your marriage

5. S Spend time in the Word your own devotional time, your own walk with the Lord affects your marriage. As you sit at Jesus' feet daily... Listen... Daily ! God will change you into that Prov 31 woman you desire to be ,
What did Jesus say when He was tempted? It is written- he uses the sword of the Spirit against the enemy
The weapons of our warfare are not carnal

6. S spend time in prayer

For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance  Phil 1:19
Imagine this is your husband speaking to you-☝🏽️your husband needs your prayers -
If not you, who?

Prayer is important why?
Satan wants our husband-
He wants to take him out
With what?
Temptation- porn, work load, responsibilities, hobbies video games
Lust of the flesh lust of the eyes and pride of life
All these things are tugging at your husbands heart
Don't nag him pray for him
He's going through enough-
Men have heavy duty struggles as the leader and priest of the home
Show him love- be kind to him!
Show him grace
Eph 5:2 walk in love
Pray for him.
Pray daily
Pray at the lunch hour
Text him a scripture encouragement
Pray through the hard seasons -
You might not always like each other-
Pray through

I have a Friend who is having a hard time in her marriage
Her husband is pulling away
She tells me
He used to pray with me take me to church but not in a long time
Do you know what she does?
In the middle of the night she lays hands on him and prays for him
How many of you have seen war room?
 Pray for him
Fast for him
Ask him- how can I pray for you?
Show him respect by submitting to him as unto the Lord
1 Peter 3:1-2 says
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Matthew Henry's comments on 1 Peter 3- regarding husbands and wives
They are heirs together of all the blessings of this life and that which is to come, and should live peaceably one with another. Prayer sweetens their converse. And it is not enough that they pray with the family, but husband and wife together by themselves, and then with their children. Those who are acquainted with prayer, find such unspeakable sweetness -
I just loved that!

Prayer sweetens

Who doesn't want a sweet marriage?
There is a bond that the Holy Spirit seals when a husband and wife pray together.
There is power in it- and it also builds intimacy too.
There's nothing more real and sweet than pouring out your heart to the Lord in prayer with your spouse.
Maybe you say Laura, I would love to pray with my man, but he's not saved, or he's not strong in his walk

To the gal with an Unsaved husband -
First of all- I want to say, you are remarkable -
You are a living Gospel everyday to him.
You have a witness to him.
You might say to yourself but it's taking long....
I have a story to share
A friend of mine waited years and years and prayed for her husbands salvation
He wouldn't attend church and she got up and got her children dressed and attended alone for many years...
Then one day alone she fully surrendered to the Lord
She admitted- Jesus you are my savior but I confess I have not been living with you as Lord and CEO of my life for all these years ...
The holy spirit began  to transform her and he noticed- "you're different" he  said...
He got saved shortly after-
Why?
Because she said a persuasive lecture?
No. It was Her conduct- her conduct demonstrated the Fruit of the Spirit- Love
And the children of this family- now adults said thank you mom- thank you for not leaving Dad-
The adult children also benefited from their mom's obedience to the Lord
Listen
All husbands can grow in their passion for Jesus by the conduct of their wives.

1 Peter 3:1-2 shows us Even unsaved husbands can be won through the godly conduct of loving wives.

Submission is attractive.

Pastor David Guzik says -

The unbelieving husband sees this behaviour (what behavior ? Her kindness sacrifice, love of God and submission to his leadership role in the home her love for him) and he sees the beauty of it. Within his heart there is a witness that this is right, this is how God intended men and women to relate as husband as wife. He concludes, therefore, that the gospel which his wife believes must be true as well."

My sister is one of the most selfless people and selfless wife

I remember one time visiting  her and she was on her lunch break-she came home on her lunch break and proceeded to make her unemployed husband a sandwich- then she made her daughter a sandwich and finally (mind you I was watching this) she made one for herself and had to use the end of the bread for her self- she did not complain she smiled
She served with joy sacrificially without Complaint
I'll never forget that scene-
Submission is attractive and shows the Holy Spirit is in you

praying together -
I encourage you to pray - pray and ask the Lord to show him the importance of praying together as husband and wife
If your husband is a believer- just ask him
Ask him -- honey can you pray for us for God to bless our day?
Start with first thing in the morning before the kids go off to school
Then build on that
Ask the Holy Spirit to help him see!
Be patient
Here's another important note- many people ---our husbands includes feel nervous to pray out loud- even with you.
So just be patient loving and gracious
There's a book recommended called
"When couples pray" by Cheri Fuller
get it and read it together
One note in the book says all of us face obstacles  and challenges in our marriages but the good news is that God is for you he wants your marriage to succeed to be fulfilling and reflect His glory to the world around you. He has an inexhaustible storehouse of love  and provision for you every single day of your life even new mercies  every morning the key to accessing all these  resources for your marriage and family is prayer

A Wise man builds his house on the rock

Danny and Silvia Colunga- example- he had cancer and then she became ill too...
God showed me his devotion to Christ represented a Real man- real marriage

Don't we all agree marriages need prayer.
If not you who?
Pray for your husband
Pray scripture over him
Pray for protection from the enemy
Pray for strongholds to be broken
Pray for his walk
Pray for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit
Maybe you're so tired
Maybe you're marriage is troubled and you feel like throwing in the towel
Let me ask you-
Have you prayed and fasted?
Remember in Matthew 17 Jesus said- this kind does not depart but by prayer and fasting- and also you must pray in faith
  Phil 1:6- being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus

 Pastor Dave Ralph said
Sometimes the reason we are  frustrated with life (or frustrated in your marriage) is because we look in the mirror and see something as it shouldn't be.
 "but you need to have the hope that God is not finished with you --- so enjoy life because you know God - He is good- and so expect great things to come and we expect great things from Him."
Pray with expectation
Pray unsafe
Pray bold asking God to Recharge your marriage with the Holy Spirit
Maybe you're thinking- Laura I do pray. I pray every day for my husband and marriage- still we are in a funk- or still we are not on fire for God as I desire us to be

One question-
I ask is there any Unforgiveness in your heart? Greg Laurie said -If you're someone who holds grudges if you keep score and can't let things go then you need to know something, you will suffer in life -  - you also will see your prayer life come to a screeching halt.

Eph 4:32  - 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Greater love has no man than this than to lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Wives lay it down- forgive him and repent,

Lay down your life for the Lord
Lay down your life for husband
Show love by submitting to your husband as to the Lord
Show love by treating him special and setting him up for success
Show love by praying for him

For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance

Let's  pray

Jesus said you have not because you
Ask not
Well we're here Lord and we're going to pray Big for marriages