Thoughts & Prayers

 Thoughts & prayers

The fervent prayers of the righteous “avails much” James 5:16

The Webster dictionary defines effective as-

producing a decided, decisive, or desired effect

or

IMPRESSIVE, STRIKING

or

being in effect : OPERATIVE

ie., the tax becomes effective next year

If there is anything I’ve learned since 2020 it’s that I can’t handle too much news.

It robs me of joy, sleep and I sob uncontrollably. 

On my birthday May 24, 2022 children were murdered in another school shooting in Uvalde, Texas. 

Kids.

Beautiful babies.

Shot & killed- intentionally by an 18 year old. 

And 2 beautiful teachers -killed…

The gun man too- dead…

My husband was switching between several news channels on 5/24 & I heard a smidgen of this: 

“

 @Bakari_Sellers

 is preaching on 

@DonLemonTonight

 saying Republicans & some Dems' "thoughts & prayers" are worthless with re: #Uvalde & GunControl

 

@donlemon

 retort "what about a person of faith.."

Bakari: "Faith without works..."

Lemon: "...is dead!"

Amen!”

I couldn’t stomach it. ^^^^

“Thoughts & prayers” Bakari Sellers says “are worthless.”

This is EXACTLY what Satan wants us to believe. 

Stop praying & revolt.

Stop praying & act.

Stop praying & force politicians to fix this. 

Leave your faith in God out of this.

Taking God OUT of school, out of parental nurturing & discipline out of homes out of 8, 10, 11 year old minds & hearts is such a huge part of this problem.

We’re trying to fix a spiritual problem with political means.

GIVE US A KING!! The people of Israel shouted.

No, Samuel said. 

Yahweh is LORD and King.

It is wrong for you to ask for a political leader.  

God responds to Samuel “go ahead. give them a king. Anoint a king. For it is really ME they have rejected” (see 1 Samuel Chapter 8)

For me, prayer is like oxygen & I don’t want a politician- I want King Jesus. 

My son Isaac had 3 horrific seizures in 2020 that rocked me to the core.

Then brain surgery for my son too… in the same year….

For me, watching my child suffer….thoughts from others did not help me too much…

BUT PRAYERS MEANT EVERYTHING.

Why?

Why is it important to pray when the world crashes around you? 

This Texas tragedy forces us to think about life & death.

We grieve, mourn& we want answers.

There is literally NO WORD to define a parent who loses a child.

There is even less to say to a parent who lost a child to MURDER.

What do you call them?

These Uvalde school parents are not orphans or widows - they are BROKEN parents. 

They have to live with forever-pain.

A gun law won’t change their reality. 

A trained security guard won’t comfort them when they wail lay prostrate crying guttural cries of lamentations at night.

A message from President Biden won’t bring them peace.      

A moment of silence at a Football game does not comfort them…

There is only One Name that comforts-   

His Name is JESUS.

He is the Son that was murdered for us.

God the Father is the Parent that watched His Son die.

Prayers are effective. When we pray God’s way.

It is not really true that “prayer changes things” 

It is True that God changes things. 

God changes us -the pray-ers.

Follow along with me. 

My girlfriend said that “every time we pray we are successful.”

I have been thinking about that for the last few weeks…

Prayer is always successful.

I have prayed and heard God say no. 

I have prayed and heard God say yes. 

I have prayed and heard God say wait. 

I have prayed and heard God say nothing- only silence. 

God responds in different ways to our prayer requests.

If that is true ^ how can we say prayer is always successful? 

The reason why prayer is always successful is because WE change. 

We have spent time with the Father which is always a “WIN.”

It’s not about getting our agenda accomplished -it’s about getting alone with God and wrestling with Him.

I remember one time wrestling with God over Isaac’s autism.

I was exhausted and tired of asking for healing.

The Lord had me switch gears for praying for Isaac’s physical healing to asking God to use Isaac’s life. 

I prayed and asked God to use Isaac and that God would be magnified & glorified through Isaac‘s life. (See John 9) 

One time I was praying & the Holy Spirit led me to pray this-

“Jesus, may people get saved through Isaac’s life” 

I opened my eyes and I couldn’t believe I even asked that…

My human understanding turned to many questions-

How can someone be saved when Isaac doesn’t talk?

How can someone be saved when Isaac doesn’t preach?

Isaac is not like a Greg Laurie- he is not an evangelist -so how can God answer that prayer that people would receive salvation through Isaac‘s testimony and life ??

I had to confess my lack of belief…

I said “Lord I know that you can do anything I don’t know why you led me to pray that but I trust you and yes I do believe that you could use Isaac to save souls!”

An old preacher one said “preach the Gospel every day if necessary use words”

Isaac does not have many words and he definitely cannot articulate the Gospel but he does have a huge smile and when he has good days the teachers and aides at his school are really blessed by him…

We must pray with fervency we must pray with expectation and in the instance of the Texas shooting we must pray with deep anguish & lament. 

 We must not let these nonbelievers on TV discourage us from praying! 

Check out James 5 with me-

 

James 5:13-18

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.

Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 

And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Elijah was a human being, even as we are. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops

****

We must believe and pray in faith that our God not only hears but He will answer. Some of our prayers may not get answered until after we die. 

Are you OK with that? 

I am. 

I am not God and neither are you…

We have the great privilege and duty to pray and to persevere and wrestle with God in agony in our prayer closets.

I have heard women tell me before that they love to hear my prayers.

The Holy Spirit is the one that has taught me how to pray. 

It is not because I’ve had a lot of good seasons in life it’s because I’ve had a lot of hard ones…

Sometimes I can’t pray and I just cry and weep and I ask Jesus to pray for me. He lives to intercede for us.

I really truly believe that we do not fully understand the power -that mountain moving power that comes when His people pray…

We can’t pray effectively if we have sin in our lives (habitual sin)

We can’t pray effectively if we’re not reading our Bibles because we don’t have the reservoir of scripture promises to hold onto…

We can’t pray effectively if we don’t confess to our friends and family our sins/struggles because that’s part of effective praying having a clean vessel…

We can’t pray effectively if we don’t worship first.

We can’t pray effectively if our heart is not in it. If our thoughts are wandering or if we really don’t care …

We can’t pray effectively unless we are really willing to surrender the outcome to Him. 

We can’t pray effectively if we’re using too much of our words and not God’s.

So you see… I don’t agree with Bakari Sellers.

I would never say thoughts and prayers are worthless…

I would say “good vibes” are worthless…

I would say praying to a false god or rote religious chant or praying to a false idol is worthless…. 

But if you have a God in heaven who is holy and who invites us to pray in the name of Jesus fueled by the power of the Holy Spirit I do believe that these prayers have great worth and they are EFFECTIVE. 

May God‘s people start praying… His Word, His Way & all according to His Sovereign Will 

We pray for the families in Texas.  

And when we finish praying, we’ll rest a minute and then praise & pray some more!

JESUS HAVE MERCY!  

In His Presence

 His presence- Is it really enough? 

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 16.

I especially love Psalm 16:11

In His presence is fullness of joy & at your right hand pleasures forever more. 

I have a client I have helped for over 5 years.

She is dear to me. 

I have prayed with her & for her.

I have stood in front of the judge advocating for her.

She tells me often that I’m like her “bestie.”

We often drive to court together for hearings and trial.

On one occasion I needed to drive separately ….

We always drove together- ALWAYS.

We prayed in the car & then drove to court and battled in court.

Since we could not drive together she shared with me that not driving together made her very anxious.

“I like driving with you & talking with you on the way, your presence brings me comfort.”

It reminded me of something Chuck would say when the kids were little.

“Everyone wants to be by momma”

It got me thinking…

Is His presence really enough?  

What I mean is : 

“Am I allowing His presence to comfort me?” 

There are many songs we sing about the Lord’s presence.

Here is one:

I love Your Presence

By Bethel

In the glory of Your presence

I find rest for my soul

And in the depths of Your love

I find peace, makes me whole

And I love, I love, I love Your presence

I love, I love, I love Your presence

I love, I love, I love You Jesus

I love, I love, I love Your presence

After David sinned with Bathsheba he was informed by Nathan the baby growing in Bathsheba’s womb was not going to make it. 

David knew that God was a God of mercy therefore he prayed and fasted for the child.

2 Sam 12:16

The child died.

2 Samuel 12:20 reveals David’s genuine love for God’s presence. 

“When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.”

‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭12:19-20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

David wrestled with God. After the child died, David did not stop enjoying God’s presence. 

He worshipped

Wow

God’s presence comforts me now and His promised presence in heaven comforts me too… the reality that David would see his baby in heaven also comforted him.

In America, we don’t comfort ourselves with God’s presence.

We try to enjoy Him from a distance.

We go to church but forget to wrestle with God.

We ask for prayer, but we talk about the prayer need with a friend more than we tell God about it.

We eat at a friend’s house and call it fellowship but we dont truly feel Gods presence.

We read a 5 minute devotional and thank God for our meal but we dont feast with Him & let Him open our eyes like He did the disciples on the road to Emmaus.   

We take a pill instead of prayer and fasting.

We wrestle with our spouses call up a marriage counselor instead of letting God be the third chord in the marriage.

We look on instagram instead of looking to     the cross.

We cry into our pillow instead of burying our face into Christ’s arms.

We fill our calendars with activity instead of filling our brain with scripture.

We ask people not God what to do in any given situation .

We are frail (wrought with fear) yet we do not yield to the One who calms all fears.

We eat drink and think we are merry when really we are empty inside.

We neglect to pray for our prodigals and hide our light under a bushel because we don’t want others to think we aren’t Christian or in sin and we don’t want the world to think we are weird.

We aren’t like David.

We aren’t lovers of His presence.

Lord help! 

If David can wash his face and worship God after God said “no” to his prayer request we can too.

We need to cultivate a love for His presence and a longing for intimacy.

If we long for His presence NOW and seek His face NOW and repent NOW I believe we’ll see revival.

We need to find in our joy in Jesus again.

Lord pour out the fire again! 

We do love your presence God.

We crave you.

We miss you.

Please God make us uncomfortable so we’ll delight in your presence again! 

Heart Broken

On May 16, 2022 I declared war against autism.

Actually, that is not 100% true. I didn’t declare war against autism I just had a one-to-one “mano y mano” combat moment with autism.

Isaac’s behaviors have been intense.

He has regressed. 

He has gone backwards in many areas.

He stopped flushing the toilet.

He screams at me.

He gets frustrated.

He has severe OCD & is rigid if anything changes.

He needs constant verbal prompts and directives.

He unbuckles his seat belt in the car and tries to get out of his seat.

I am exhausted. 

On Saturday May 13 we decided to make some drastic changes around our house to help Isaac. 

This re-boot spilled over to Sunday which spilled over to Monday… today as I write this it is a Tuesday and I’m still processing it all.

Isaac is a full time commitment and then some.

When he is anxious, that anxiety spills over on us.

We all have our own strategies & methods to help us cope.

Olivia has dance and prayer.

Chuck has plants and skateboarding and prayer.

I have writing and walks and prayer.

Right now it’s tough and the forecast is more wind and waves and rain.

On May 16, 2022 I took Isaac to a local park before his school start time at 9am. We do this Monday-Friday.

I don’t mind taking him to the park. 

It’s quiet. 

He enjoys the swing. 

I walk and pray. 

On May 16, 2022 it was different. I was already exhausted from a melt down filled weekend & an emotional month/year. 

As many of you already know, Isaac loves all things party, ie., balloons, cupcakes, decorations, presents, etc.

We get to the park and he begins saying out loud in the car, “Not your party!!” 

I have no idea why he’s saying this…

I look over at the park and there is a HUGE balloon arch with a batman theme. 

There must’ve been over 20 balloons left over from a party. There were also streamers, and decorations.

I lost it. 

The balloons are a problem because he obsesses.  He can’t just look at the balloons and think “oh that’s cool.” He can’t look at the balloons and say to himself “that’s OK those old party balloons are not mine.”

He will either want to take ALL OF them home with us in the car or pop them.

I chose pop them.

I pulled out my keys and began popping and piercing each balloon. 

I was so angry and tear filled I dropped to my knees and popped each one as quickly as I could.

I don’t believe I can fully communicate my anger at that moment. 

Autism has robbed us of so many things. 

Isaac is in 8th grade but there will be no promotion party.

Isaac is 14 but there are no girl crushes or desire to go to a junior high summer camp with church.

There is no request for money to buy his sister a birthday gift.

We can’t go into the sanctuary at church  because Isaac is loud & has some behaviors that are unsavory or troublesome.

We cannot attend birthday parties or weddings or certain homes. 

I wept.

I popped.

I prayed.

I popped.

I dry heaved & cried heavily.

I popped.

I popped each balloon & prayed out loud wailing to Jesus.

  

Isaac said “momma sad. momma cry”

I popped some more…

Than a miracle happened. 

Isaac said to me “heart broken.”

He has never said this before…

He knew exactly how I felt.

It was shocking.

Isaac knew my deep cries meant something.

God interprets my groaning,  but what a gift that moment was! 

Isaac has melt downs often

but this was a grieving mother meltdown.

I gave my honest lament to God.

 

I am not quite sure why it bothered me so much on that day as we have discovered “left over” party stuff at the park before- especially on a Monday. I think it was just a clash of my weariness with autism & the fact that even on a regular Monday morning ….nothing is regular with Isaac. 

I am learning

Rabbi Jesus keep teaching me

As Isaac is a teen now, my patience is testing more than ever.

I am vexed

I am overwhelmed

I am over it

But God

How many times do we see those words in scripture?

So many

But God

Their backs were against the wall, but God parted the Red Sea

They turned up the fiery furnace hotter than ever but the boys trusted God would deliver them 

David’s own son wanted to kill him but God didn’t allow that to happen

Sarah was barren but God opened her womb

Ruth shouldn’t have been cared for, but God brought her Boaz

Jesus should have been acquitted -declared innocent of alleged crimes, but God let him become the Lamb in our place

Moses had a speech impediment but God used him as Yahweh’s mouthpiece

Paul should’ve died many times but God knew he needed to go before Ceaser

Autism should’ve broken me long ago, but God still has me as the mother and caregiver to Isaac

But God

His story is not over with us yet 

Whatever balloons you need to pop to release your frustrations with the circumstance you are in, DO IT.  Cry, weep, wail, journal, pray, read scripture, listen to worship even if you feel unable to sing along.

It is well with my soul! 

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith. —Galatians 6:9–10 MSG