Time for Devo!

As the year winds down we start to think of goals for the following year.

Exercise more, be kind to strangers, pay down debt, plan summer vacation, kick a bad habit, etc.

Reality check: 

Many of us NEVER stick to these goals.

We start well. We have good intentions. Rarely do we follow through on these goals in the long term. Some people DO reach their goals. What makes these people the rare 1% goal keepers?

A Plan

Dedication

Discipline

Commitment 

Do it daily even when you don’t feel like it.

If you’re a mom or a dad who wants your child to grow up to have a relationship with Jesus there is one important goal we can’t neglect:

Devotions with Kids

This topic has been on my heart for a long time and the Lord impressed it upon my heart to write this.

We all know the verse: 

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

We know it. We can quote it. But do we do it?

Sharing from personal experience:

HAVING DEVOTIONS WITH KIDS IS HARD

Is going to get ice cream hard? No

Is hanging out at the park hard? No 

Eating dinner together? Sometimes hard 

Devotions are hard because they have eternal value. 

Why are they hard practically?

Kids have short attention spans 

Parents are short on patience 

We have other  “stuff” to do

We have places to go people to see etc.

Over the years, in our family we decided to read a short devotion at night with Olivia. She would begin to yawn or seem “checked out” We still read to her, talked about it and then prayed together.

For this year 6th grade, we changed the routine and now have morning devotion and prayer at the breakfast table and then prayer at night. I’m sharing this because it’s important for everyone to learn what works for their own family and for each child. 

When we read at night...it was really hard. We were tired, our child was tired and frankly we began to get grumpy.

Are you even listening?

Are you falling asleep?

What did we just talk about? 

Let’s pray. To be honest, devotions can feel rushed because you know they have short attention spans and you “gotta” do it but you’re exhausted. 

My encouragement: DON’T give up!!!!

Our family decided to switch devotions to the morning because we realized everyone was pretty much checked out at night because Olivia gets home late from dance practice. 

Now again, practically speaking, Olivia and Chuck are reading through a few verses every morning in the Gospel of Luke. I’m in the kitchen making lunches and breakfast. Yes I would love to stop what I’m doing and sit with them, but most days I’m listening but also doing “mom stuff” again, we don’t have to be rigid...the Bible says 

““Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

Deuteronomy 6:4-5, 7 NKJV

For me, as mom, I talk about the Bible, what God is teaching me, (I also ask Olivia what God is teaching her) in the car... we have so many great devotions and talks in the car, or at bedtime, or in the morning when she comes to me and sees me in the WORD. 

The point is this:

Some devotions with children are very structured- like Olivia and Chuck’s weekday morning devotions, but other times, it’s more fluid and comes at various points in the day.

If we treat Jesus and His Word as a “have to” like a chore such as throwing our the trash, it’s not going to be as fruitful compared to if we treat Opening His Word as a “get to” and the delight of our hearts. 

These same principles can apply to nieces, nephews, or anyone else who comes into your home.

Reading God’s Word should be both fun and important at the same time. 

Kids want you to be “real” with them...

Also, like anything in life it takes practice. 

For example: 

Whenever we see or hear a paramedic or car accident, we stop our conversation and pray over the situation. I do this in the car.

The other day Olivia initiated the prayer on her own and I was blown away

“She’s getting it!” I realized...

Same goes with arrow prayers.

I always remind her we don’t need to be long winded in our prayers we can pray with our eyes open and lift up an arrow prayer to God for help on a test, help with the kid that acts mean at school, or for God to help someone hurting, even the homeless person you see on a bench.

Olivia mentioned to me that she says “arrow prayers” and I blessed God-

“She’s getting it!” I realized...

Talking with God and doing devotions with children is not a once a day thing-

IT’S A LIFESTYLE

And lives aren’t changed over night...they are changed day by day moment by moment..Little by Little. 

Friends- maybe you’re reading this and realize you haven’t been spending time in Gods Word with your child as you should.

Please don’t feel condemned. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you, guide you, and put it in your heart to WANT TO read with your child. 

Yes, on one hand devotions are a habit, but it’s also a key part of staying close to Jesus and abiding in Him, to bear much fruit. 

(John 14) 

Use the new living translation or NASB translation to help your kids understand.

If your kids seem distracted or bored, don’t give up! God is working and eventually they will get it and want to learn more about God. 

Merry CHRISTmas, Happy New Year and May the LORD help us as families to seek His kingdom first every day!

Bullied No More

The LORD reminded me of something powerful.

Jesus was mocked.

Jesus was bullied.

I can picture the soldiers laughing at him

Romans picking on Jews ...it was common for them...

But this time was different.

Jesus could have halted the jokes and jeers. 

He didn't.

He took it.

He took every bit of the bullying. 

I say the movie "The Little Boy" the other day.

I could hardly stomach the bullying scenes. They bullied the boy called him dwarf, midget and humiliated him. All he wanted was to be with his Papa (like Jesus longed to be with His Heavenly Father) 

As a special needs mom, bullying is one of my biggest fears.

The looks. The whispers.

A kid once told Olivia "I won't touch him (Isaac) because then maybe I won't be able to talk either" ....as if autism is contagious.

The word "retard" makes me cringe.

A person once told me "yeah my daughter has special needs and learning disabilities but she's not a retard"

I cringed and I was speechless.

Bullying stings.

Words can hurt and inflict wounds that are deeper than a mere physical wound.

Someone once said Olivia looked chubby and she stared at her body for weeks... it took her months to get over it.

Jesus was bullied.

The mocking must have hit His heart... 

When we are despised and rejected we want to crawl into a hole. 

Jesus took every bit of the scorn publicly. He knows what it is like to be bullied. 

One of the biggest lies Satan whispers is this.

"No one cares."  

What a lie!

Jesus cares.

He understands.

Hebrews 4:15 

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin

He cared enough not only to die for us but He was also subject to public humiliation. 

The image of the soldiers twisting the thorns into a crown is so condescending and insulting. (John 19:2) 

If only they knew who He REALLY was and who He really is.

The creator of heaven and earth. The True King.

Isaiah 25:8 says 

"In that day the LORD of hosts will become a beautiful crown And a glorious diadem to the remnant of His people"

Jesus Himself is King and HE will one day be a crown of beauty for all to see.

He is the King and yet He was bullied.

It does not make sense!

We must see how deep the Father's love is for us. 

Words have power both to destroy and to give life.

Jesus took the verbal abuse because He knew it was only part of the end goal- to die for the sins of all man-kind. 

He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. 

Isaiah 53:7

His strength under this pressure gives us hope. (Isaiah 40:31) 

Genesis 3:15;

And I will put enmity

    between you and the woman,

    and between your offspring and hers;

he will crush your head,

    and you will strike his heel.

Rev. 20:10

And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

Although Revelation is our sneak peek to Satan's ultimate defeat, Satan is still a bully to us at present day , but one day the lies will stop and Jesus will crush His head!! 

Most bullying goes unseen.

The same goes with us. 

Satan bullies us at night when we are vulnerable, or when we are sick, or when no one is around.

Coward.

May the Lord remind us EVERY TIME we partake of communion or read through the passion (or read through Isaiah and the many prophecies of Jesus) that He was bullied only for a moment, but now He reigns triumphant forever; He himself is the royal crown, He is the King over every circumstance He is the King over every trial, He is the King and Lord over every trial and He is Truth, He stomps on every lie Satan hurls at us.

John 10:18

"No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded."

The Pleasant Land

“Then they despised the pleasant land; They did not believe His word, But complained in their tents, And did not heed the voice of the LORD.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭106:24-25‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

What if THIS is the pleasant land?

Women have a tendency to  squeal when we see a friend who is pregnant or is very visibly pregnant.
 For those of us who have carried a child we immediately become nostalgic. We immediately remember our pregnancy all the flutters all the moments when that little one was growing in our tummy... we remember praying over the child singing over the little one  and the overall delight of being pregnant.
 This of course is not true for everyone. Some women have experienced very harsh pregnancies and labors or maybe even a miscarriage. Some are unable to get pregnant and seeing someone that is pregnant might bring up painful memories of visits to the IVF doctor, trying to adopt and  all of the times that prayers were answered "no"

Life can be painful.

Jesus said He came to give us life and life abundantly (John 10:10)

 This verse in Psalm 106:24 "they despised the pleasant land"  reminded me of the longings of our heart ...

We want abundant life so we pray for it...
 Lord God you see me in my singleness please bless me with a  husband. Or Lord God you see me how I desire to be a mother so bless  me with children. Or Lord God you see me living in this tiny home or on a friends couch please bless me with a home.
Always longing ...never resting...

It's not wrong to desire things.
But it is wrong to complain. .

“Then they despised the pleasant land; They did not believe His word, But complained in their tents, And did not heed the voice of the LORD.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭106:24-25‬ ‭NKJV

We don't believe God when we take matters into our own hands... trying to "hurry up" the answer to prayer in our own fleshly efforts.

 I knew a woman who told me her story.
 There she was dressed in her wedding gown,  make up done, manicure and pedicure done, hair done, flowers all arranged ....but as she looked into the mirror she knew something was wrong. The Holy Spirit was telling her not to marry this man.
She proceeded.
 She endured many hardships over her nearly 20 years of  marriage and she says that she knew she was out of God's will when she married him ...
she rationalized....
she was over 40 ....her clock  was ticking she wanted to be married and she wanted to have children so how could this wedding day be wrong ?
As the verse states, we must heed the voice of the LORD.
Now this woman did not complain as she saw God's hand guiding her and she was blessed with 3 beautiful children...
but she learned a painful lesson "do not despise the pleasant land"

 If we are not content in our current situation whether it be singleness or  we want to be a homeowner or we are at the lower level and desire a promotion... or we can't get pregnant, etc  if we are not content and we do not see the pleasant land  for what it is we walk dangerously close to behaving like the Israelites... we can  reject the voice of the Lord.

 So what  is so pleasant about this land?
 Even in a season of trial you can draw close to  the Lord and lean  on him and grow closer to him more than ever before ...

 Whatever season we are in we can look up and see how pleasant the land really is. Psalm 16:11  in his presence is fullness of joy at his right hand pleasures forevermore.  We are saved we are heaven bound,  we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus we have a mind that were able to read the Bible we have eyes that we can see his beautiful creation we have family and friends that love us we have a body of Christ that prays for us. If you are breathing, you can give thanks for that too! We have so much to be thankful for. But are we going to choose to see the pleasant land or are we going to be complainers ? These examples are there for us to learn from.
I don't want to be like the Israelites...complaining and whining,  I want to be like Jesus and say not my will but thy will be  done.
Enjoy the pleasant land, an even better destination awaits us in heaven!

Broken Swing

Broken swing

One day I saw a dad pushing his daughter on the swing. She was small 12 months or so. She was so happy and safe. He was looking right at her, no phone in hand and they were completely enjoying each other....completely smitten and in love...

Immediately I thought to myself...
This is what heaven must be like, a child face to face with her Father, enjoying each other. No worries, no cares. No disease or divorce, pain or heart break. No anger or fear. Just pure joy. Joy in His presence. (Psalm 16:11)

Today I saw a broken swing at the park....
it reminded me of my vision of heaven.
Then it clicked...
Maybe this world is like a broken swing.
The swing was created for a purpose. It had a designer and a plan for its use.
It was going well for a while... but now it's just broken...
A broken swing is sad...
No child to sit on it... no parent to plop his child on it... not even a place for a teen to sit and goof around.
The broken swing appears to be useless.
But you can imagine what it was...
God created the heavens and the earth.
Gen 1:1
He has a purpose and a plan for His world
Jeremiah 29:11
But the world is broken.
The world is under the sway of the wicked one ...
1 John 5:19
Beauty is distorted and women are not valued how she was intended..
Prov 31:30
A man is valued not by his heart...but by his bank account and "look" on social media.
1 Samuel 16:7

The world is broken...like the swing.
But one day, we'll be in heaven with our Abba and all tears will be wiped away.
He will twirl us around and make us laugh til our cheeks hurt.
We will enjoy His presence and we'll battle valiantly and have new names given by our King.
Revelation 2:17
It's coming....
we must hold fast and not let the pollution of this world make us cynical.
People need Jesus
Older people younger people those who drive and those who wait for buses
We need His eyes
We need to see each day with His proper Father eyes.
Yes the world is broken, but one day it will swing again

Salute- To Dads, you're the Real MVP

Salute.
Shout out to all the unsung heroes out there.
To all the fathers who bear the  name "dad."
Just like in the movie boyz in the hood -the father says "any man... can become a father but it takes a real man to be a dad to his child."

Shout out and salute to the dad wakes up in the middle of the night to help give comfort or a bottle.

Shout out to all the dads who attend their daughters dance recitals.

Salute to each and every dad who goes to appointments with their children.

Salute to the dad who stuck around when they said "your child will have special needs all his life"

Salute to the dad who wakes up every day and goes to work when he has back pain.

Salute to the dad who works a job that he's not passionate about - but he does it to put food on the table.
Salute to the dad who wakes up at night because he hears a strange noise or a car turning down the street and wants to protect the home and family.

Salute to the dad who will drive a car way past it's "cool"  to allow the kids to be in sports and other activities.

Salute to the dad who takes his children on one-on-one daddy/daughter or daddy/son dates even when they're exhausted from working all week.

Salute to the dad who prays with his kids every night.

Salute  to the dad who puts a hand on his wife's forehead at night and prays over her.

Salute to the dad who sets aside a little bit extra money for his child's college education.

Salute to the dad who takes his kids on vacation but he doesn't really consider it fun ...he will sacrifice his own fun for the joy of the child.

Shout out to the dads who always double check that the car seats are buckled in right.

Shout out to the dad who knows the difference between infant diapers and pull-ups.

Shout out to the dads who have children with food allergies and sacrifices for the child's special needs.

Shout out to the dad who puts an Internet security block on the home computers and phones to protect not only the kids but themselves from looking up on evil.

Shout out to the dad who wakes up an extra hour early to read the Bible and get fresh manna from Gods word every day.

Shout out to the dad who visit others in the hospital when they're sick or hurting.

Shout out to the dad who lives out the image of Christ in their daily living.

A dad is not a cartoon bald headed Homer Simpson with a doughnut in his hand. A dad is one who is willing to take the financial, emotional, and spiritual bullet for the family every day ---day in and day out.

Thank you Heavenly Father for giving us earthly fathers who exemplify your love and sacrifice for wives and children all across the globe.

What happened David?

What happened?

When we drive by a car accident we ask "what happened?"
When we learn of a drug overdose, we sadly say "what happened?"

When a couple that appeared to have it together, divorces we scratch our head "what happened?"

When I read 1 and 2 Samuel look at the beautiful God-journey Shepherd-walk of David and Yahweh and then HALT, you arrive at 2 Samuel 11, enter Bathsheba... we ask, "What happened David! No, not you! Not the sweet psalmist of Israel, not the author of Psalm 23, not the Goliath killer, not the king, not you David! What happened?"

“It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah.

But David remained at Jerusalem.

Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold. So David sent and inquired about the woman. And someone said, “ Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?””
‭‭II Samuel‬ ‭11:1-3‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Later we see Uriah...
David learns Bathsheba is going to be his "baby mama" and so he tries to get Uriah to sleep with his wife and pretend like this child is Uriahs.

Look at Uriah's response:

“And Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat and drink, and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.””
‭‭II Samuel‬ ‭11:11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

What a contrast. David acted with a "me first" attitude and Uriah acted with a "God first attitude"

Let me explain....

Here's David.
Served the Lord as a child -check
Anointed by Samuel to be the next
King-check
Fought and killed Goliath-check
Fled from Saul -check
Recaptured the ark of the God-check
Defeated many pagan territories to conquer the lands as God promises Moses and Joshua- check
Present day and time- Spring- "although I should be going to war...been there done that...I'll just walk around my roof top and think of something to do..." WRONG!
He should have been about his Father's business.

Men are visual and David is bored. So what pops into his mind? Sex.

He has lovely wives, true, but he's never had a Bathsheba before.

Now go back to Uriah

“And Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat and drink, and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.””
‭‭II Samuel‬ ‭11:11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I want you to notice Uriah's priorities.
God first, then others (the people of Israel, and military) self (spending time with his wife).

Davids priorities in 2 Samuel 11
I'm Bored
I'm hungry
I want to try Bathsheba
(Self, Others and God last)

The Lord has been speaking to me a lot about "self" lately.

What an amazing God we serve to reveal these insights to 2 Samuel 11 and the David, Bathsheba and Uriah incident.

Notice what happens when we focus on self...
Even when we put "me myself and I" first notice what God's Word says

“And when her mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD.”
‭‭II Samuel‬ ‭11:27‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Davids selfishness caused him to sin greatly. The thing he had done displeased the Lord.

Sin separates ....we all know that...
But here we see how a man who once had great pleasure in spending time with the LORD and loving on the Lord falls terribly and tragically ...
Yes David was tempted...but what I think Davids first problem was, was a shift in his priorities. In stead of God first, it was David first. This is so evident in our culture today.

I like what Charles Stanley says about temptation:
"through the presence of the Holy Spirit, we have the ability to screen, select, admit, and cultivate what goes into our minds. By his power we can prevent our minds from taking a wrong turn and wandering into evil, but we must choose to focus on what is godly and good" (Philippians  4: 8)

Self.
Jesus tells us to die to self.
Jesus tells us He prayed in the garden not my will but THY will be done.

Instead of focusing on "me" let's focus on "Thee"

We'll save ourselves a lot of trouble if we KEEP our priorities straight
1. GOD 2. OTHERS 3. SELF

Or "JOY"-  JESUS
OTHERS
YOU

Self and Self Forgetfulness

Self
Oh boy isn't it a problem?
But we won't start with our self...
We will start with others in the Bible who were full of themselves....

Saul- at first thought low of himself
(I'm the least from the tribe of Benjamin, then became obsessed with himself and jealous of David when they sang "Saul killed his thousands and David killed ten thousands ) (See 1 Samuel and 2 Samuel)

Nebuchadnezzar- so full of himself he made a large statue and demanded worship, then later was humbled like a lowly animal and admitted "the Lord alone is God" (See Daniel 3:1-6; Daniel Ch. 4)

David - a humble shepherd boy, the youngest of his brothers, ( 1 Samuel 16) later promoted to King (2 Samuel) , then pride took over via the vehicle of lust ( 2 Samuel 11) , then humbled again when the Prophet Nathan called him out (2 Samuel 12:1-7) (I'm so thankful for the "Nathan's" God uses to gently show us with are in sin)

Id ego and super ego

Even Martha (Mary's sister) had a self problem- "why isn't she helping me Jesus ! Make her help me!" (Say in a whiny voice) She should have been amazed to serve Jesus in stead she was caught up in making the Pinterest perfect meal, again so she could get applause. (see Luke 10:38-42) 

A good friend  recommended a book ---
"The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness: the path to true Christian Joy" by Timothy Keller to my husband. He couldn't stop talking about it and sharing nuggets with me...
For example:

When you look at someone on tv and say, "Wow, look at her! She's so fit... I need to start working out"
you aren't saying that because you're proud of her or glad for her... what you are really saying is "she's more fit than me...." and once again it goes back to the attention being on self.

Timothy Keller explains that it's not about thinking less of your self, or thinking more of your self it's about
THINKING OF YOUR SELF LESS (that is the self view has no power over you)
This a challenging concept to summarize and I suggest you buy the 30 page book Timothy Keller book from Amazon (or other site)

Basically, Paul in writing to the Corinthians encourages them to think less of themselves. Don't pull rank and be full of pride, don't walk around saying "I'm garbage, I'm no body" both of these views are incorrect for the Christian.
We should simply say
"Christ loves me, and it is His opinion that matters, nothing more nothing less"

Keller goes on to explain that our American Culture is obsessed with performance based verdicts. It's all about how I perform, then I look in the mirror and give myself a grade. Or, how I perform, then I put it on social media and let my friends give me a grade. Or I serve at church and I beg God to give me a grade.

All of these are wrong.
In thinking of ourselves less- we already have a view of completion because of the finished work of Christ.
We don't have to perform.
We don't have to look at ourselves harshly, or highly...
No
We simply look at Christ and then "do" as the Spirit leads...

CS Lewis noted in Mere Christianity (and cited by Keller) that if we met a truly humble person... we would not remember them thinking "wow that guy was humble" no... what we would remember from meeting a truly Gospel- humble person is how much they seemed to be totally interested in us. Because the essence of Gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less.
John the Baptist said it so well
"He must increase and I must decrease"

Let's practice this thinking and re-train our brain (with prayer and Gods working it in us course) . Let's put others first. Let's imitate Christ. Let's get over our selfie.

Oh Snap!

Oh snap!
Do you find yourself easily annoyed or irritated?
Then this blog is for you...  
Ephesians 4:29
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them
Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man.

Oh Lord forgive me for my short patience. Oh Lord Jesus please forgive me for being well "snappy."
For being short with people or annoyed or even with my body language showing that I'm irritated.

I have a confession to make. Sometimes autism just gets to me. I love my son I love him more than life and he is a precious child. God created him special ... God is the potter and Isaac is the Clay. How dare I ever look to the potter and say what are you doing why did you make him different?
No I don't want to ask God why I want to trust in His character in that He is the Master potter the Master builder and He knows exactly what He is doing - He is Lord of all creation. God knit our family together, one boy one girl one typical child one on the autistic spectrum -that's what God designed for our Gonzalez family and I'm good with it. However there are times where I am just flat out irritable.

I'm annoyed at the checker for the way that she's looking at Isaac. I'm annoyed at the long line at the drive-through window because don't they understand kids with autism have a hard time waiting? I have never thought of myself as an impatient person but I find myself losing patience getting frustrated with people, the clerks,  teachers, etc. For example the other day I explained to Isaac's teacher and to the aids that we are trying a new therapy with Isaac and we are no longer giving him veggie tales or Larry boy or any type of characters like that. He had a meltdown and pinched a teacher because of a veggie tales book in the library. I wrote a long email and even had a meeting with the principal and program specialist explaining the need to not allow Isaac to have any veggie tales books at school. Then the next week in Isaac's log there's a note from the teacher that says "Isaac did well today and he was able to check out and return veggie tales book from the library."

I was extremely annoyed. After all of my efforts to explain to the principal, program specialist, teacher and aide that we do not want this... something still was lost in communication.

These type of things sometimes cause me to go over the edge. I am so sorry Lord for this. I do not like when my flesh rises up within me .. you might be reading this and think well I can't really relate I don't have a child with autism.
However search your heart, there might be certain triggers or certain things that cause you to snap. Maybe it's that you're hungry or maybe it's that you've been sitting in traffic all day or maybe it's that your spouse asked you a question and you were asked the same question 20 times during your day. Then the moment your spouse walks in the door there you go you snap because you are annoyed that yet another person asked you that question.

Snapping or being irritable or being annoyed is sin. This is something the Lord is reminding me lately when I am short on patience. I can try to minimize it or say that I need to give myself grace in this area because I'm a special-needs mom. Stop.
No.
I'm not going to do that !
I'm going to call it sin. God wants me to be a Spirit filled person a Spirit filled mom a Spirit filled wife. The problem with irritability getting easily annoyed or snapping is one word -the flesh. When the kids were younger I used to take "mommy time outs" and I would go in the restroom drop to my knees and pray alone in a room   and say "God please help me to be a spirit filled mom I don't want to be a yelling mom"
Think about it. When you are getting annoyed or irritated with another person you're failing to use grace. God wants us to be gracious people I want to exercise those fruits of the spirit not just let him sit  there stagnant. Think about those fruit that go uneaten in your fridge. What happens? They rot. We don't want to have rotten fruit. We want to be spirit filled believers - Galatians 5.
Love Joy peace long-suffering kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control. If you feel like me your flesh is rising up for this reason or that do not make excuses for it. Take a time out or whatever you want to call it -take a break. Take a prayer break- go talk to the Lord and confess to Him that you can seriously feel your flesh rising up and you're about to go postal on someone. Ask the Lord to help you to calm you to soothe you breathe and pray put on worship.

Also, I want to point out that when you do snap at someone you never feel good after you feel guilty and you feel bad that you snapped on an innocent victim. Oh snap. Please Lord help us not to snap but instead to confess our sins to you and to ask you to calm us and soothe us. Holy Spirit show us what the triggers are so we will not snap at others and hurt the feelings of others when they are sometimes just trying to help us.

Hug for Daddy

Hug for daddy

Children with autism are sensitive to touch. Many (not all) children on the spectrum do not like to be hugged. This is extremely hard for us parents. I must admit, when I see a child run up to his mom and squeal "Mommy!" And wrap his little chubby arms around the mother's neck, I become jealous...Isaac doesn't do this.

Isaac has improved and he will let you hug him, but it doesn't feel genuine. Again, this is painful.

On Feb 19, 2017 Isaac had an accident. He fell very hard and there was blood (thank God no stitches)
Chuck was sharing with me how Isaac ran to him and cried and sobbed and bled.

He hugged him.
A real hug.

How many times is this true of us?

We go to our Heavenly Father and give Him a half hearted "side hug"
It's not until we fall, (emotionally, sick physically, mentally spent, financially, hurt with a relationship problem, etc) THEN we give our Father a genuine hug. An embrace that says "I'm hurting and you're the only one who can comfort me"

The Holy Spirit is the Comforter.

John 14:15-18

“If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14:15-18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So thankful for our Heavenly Father's embrace and comfort.

Trial Season

I recall years ago I was in the middle of my first year in law school. I saw an old Sociology professor of mine and she asked me " how is law school?"

I said "ugh! This is the most intellectually challenging time of my life, it's so hard!!"

She responded, "Good to hear!
That's wonderful news!"

I'll never forget that moment. I thought this woman is crazy. My brain is fried and she thinks it's a good thing?

But now I get it....

Trials and tests are good for us.

Gulp.

We want blessings and favor and happiness.
But what we really want in those "easy" seasons is to be left alone.
God you are good in that safe little box. Sure, I'll thank you for that pay increase or giving me an upfront parking spot, and I'll thank you for new friends at church, but other than that, I'm on cruise control and please don't allow any detours, bumps in the road, new construction or other hiccups.

I'm doing fine.

God allows trials so we may realize :
1. who God is
2. We are not God nor were we ever in control.

Count it all joy.

Oh boy. How can I count this all joy?

You might say "I'm suffering, my life is a mess, I can barely hold on, and I'm supposed to be joyful?"

Yes.
Why?
Because we are partaking of the fellowship of His suffering.

Phil 3:10
That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death; (KJV)

Phil 3:8
More than that, I count all things as loss compared to the surpassing excellence of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ

1 Peter 4:13
Instead, be very glad--for these trials make you partners with Christ in His suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing His glory when it is revealed to all the world.

I think we have an incorrect view of the word "joy."

My professor became joyful when I told her I was being challenged.
Why?
Because challenges produce growth.
She became joyful, because in her experience, she knew my current intellectual pain (the "challenge") was sure to produce exciting results....
She knew....
I was learning.
That caused her to smile.

Every trial and failure I have faced ...God used it. It was like "boot camp" for the battle I would later face.

Just look at David:

1 Samuel 17:34-37
But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it. Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God.” Moreover David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”

David and the Lord had history. God helped David conquer the bear, then the lion. God built David's faith, one trial (one mini-Goliath) at a time.

So when the BIG ONE came, David was ready. He was not reliant on His own abilities -but God's. That's the key---may I decrease and may You increase Lord.

This is my encouragement- don't think God hates you, or is mad at you, or delights to keep you in this trial.
No.
That is not the character of our God.
Look at your trial as "boot camp."
You want to be a warrior don't you?
You want to be used by God don't you?
Then count this trial as joy- because God is preparing you for something bigger.
Pray big and bold-  because Satan wants to kick you while you're down...
But remember God wants us to partake of the fellowship of His suffering to answer our very own prayer:
" LORD MAKE ME LIKE YOU! "

Waiting for "NEW"

Rev 21:1-5
Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John,[a] saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me,[b] “Write, for these words are true and faithful.

Do we really believe that God will make all things new?

Are you stuck in a rut are you living a life of mundane routine?

It certainly feels like that at times for all of us.

I am longing for the day when we will be in a new place.

A place where the crushed of spirit find peace, a place where those who are exhausted from crying find relief.
A place where Jesus is forever King.

Matt 11:28 says come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.

People tell me all the time "I'm a good mom"

I certainly don't feel like it.

I feel like I'm failing- like there is more work to be done. More praying ...more seeking help for Isaac... more enjoying nature with him... more seeking Gods face, more encouragement to my daughter that it's ok if she gets frustrated with Isaac- he's different.....more explaining myself to people over and over and over ...explaining to strangers that I'm sorry Isaac touched them or looked in their purse or behaved oddly he has autism.

I feel completely 100% inadequate to raise Isaac and you know what?

God says "good"!

That might seem mean or rude, but it's not.

I used to wake up full of a lot of joy. I would say a quick prayer "good morning Lord thank you for this day" and go about my merry way...

Now I wake up tired.

I wake up asking for mercy, for strength for the armor of God to be fastened upon me, because I haven't the strength to put it on myself. I ask God for his Spirit because I don't have any energy in me to be the Godly woman he desires me to be.

I ask for wisdom and insight from his Word and I clammer like a deprived child in a candy store to gain any new nuggets of honey and encouragement as I read through the Bible.

I'm tired.

I have a special needs child.
You have special needs too.
Maybe it's your marriage, or family, or depression, or body image/self image, or lack of excitement for life, or work, or feeling broke- financially and emotionally, or maybe you too feel like a failing parent.
You long for peace but it appears fleeting, like the dandelion blowing in the wind.
Peace is not a state of mind- peace is God incarnate. (See John 14:27)
If you have hard times, tell God how inadequate you are. Cry out in prayer like you would to your very best friend. Then after you cry out then dust yourself off, and praise Him.
For as you were crying out to him and praying ....it's already been done! the new heaven and new earth is already formed and every day we are closer to it...

Psalm 141:8
But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD; in you I take refuge--do not give me over to death (NIV)

But mine eyes are unto thee, O GOD the Lord: in thee is my trust; leave not my soul destitute. (KJV)

He NEVER fails and He is the Alpha and Omega. Rev 22:13

In His presence is fullness of joy. Psalm 16:11 If you feel down, get out of your head and press into His presence.

AW Tozier "...the righteous shall shine forth in the kingdom of their father. He [The meek man] is willing to wait for that day"