Good Friday from the disciples was a terrible Friday - it was diagnosis day-
It's cancer
He's not going to make it
Your child has a rare disease
I'm leaving you for another woman
Good Friday was death of a dream
Their dreams and hopes were in Jesus the man they walked with for 3 years- the messiah
But now he is dead-
Guess we were wrong
He's not the chosen one
Isn't it just like us that they focused on what their eyes could see?
They saw Jesus hanging from the cross and COULD NOT FATHOM the reality he would rise again
I don't know why but this Good Friday I am putting myself in the disciples sandals.
All their dreams and hopes were dead literally
Have you been there?
When my sister Patty was diagnosed with cancer she was not even 40 and she said I don't know how people can deal with this without God.
That's the source of our hope- God.
The disciples focused on THEIR SPECIFIC DREAMS not on Gods plan of salvation.
What if Jesus said "I really love my disciples they have stuck with me through thick and thin guess I won't go to the cross because that will disappoint them..."
No.
Jesus had a BIGGER plan a bigger dream
He needed to die ---that was the reason he came.
I go back to Gen 22:12-14
And He (the LORD)said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”
Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son. And Abraham called the name of the place, The-Lord-Will-Provide;[b] as it is said to this day, “In the Mount of the Lord it shall be provided.
On that same exact mountain that God provided Abraham with a ram, God would provide the LAMB.
What dreams are you witnessing death to?
Pastor Britt Merrick's daughter died of cancer- he never saw her get married
Pastor Steve Mays died, Gail Mays will not celebrate another wedding anniversary or watch a grandbaby enter this world with him.
My son has autism, he will not likely participate in sports like typical kids- something my husband and I had always looked forward to
My friend and her husband could not get pregnant - the dream of feeling a flutter in her tummy is dead
We all have dreams and hopes. We all have a time in our life that feels like a good Friday.
But we need to take our eyes off of self and focus on the Truth of Gods Word
God is for me and not against me Rom 8:31
Gods plan for me is good and not evil Jeremiah 29:11
Jesus will return again and he is preparing a place for us John 14:2
Tear down this temple and in three days I will raise it up John 2:19
Jesus is the resurrection and the life. John 11:25
Trust God that His dreams for you are better than your dreams for yourself Prov 3:5-6
Good Friday is the perfect example of this Truth!!
Friday, March 25, 2016
Monday, March 14, 2016
Remember- Forget NOT His benefits
It's Easter season...
Crosses in windows...Easter egg hunts advertised everywhere....
As believers we are thrilled to celebrate our hero and His breakthrough. His destruction of death.
Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday.
Psalm 103:2 says "Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
the NLT says "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."
Pastor Chad Veach mentioned this verse in 2013 in his message to Fresh Life Church. His testimony has really ministered to me.
He has a daughter with special needs, she has a brain disorder.
He discusses in his book "Unreasonable Hope" how one huge way he has endured this trial is by remembering...
He chooses to forget NOT all of God's benefits.
He chooses to never forget the good things God has done.
This one word "remember" has been ringing in my ear and resonating in my Spirit for a few weeks now.
Crosses in windows...Easter egg hunts advertised everywhere....
As believers we are thrilled to celebrate our hero and His breakthrough. His destruction of death.
Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday.
Psalm 103:2 says "Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
the NLT says "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."
Pastor Chad Veach mentioned this verse in 2013 in his message to Fresh Life Church. His testimony has really ministered to me.
He has a daughter with special needs, she has a brain disorder.
He discusses in his book "Unreasonable Hope" how one huge way he has endured this trial is by remembering...
He chooses to forget NOT all of God's benefits.
He chooses to never forget the good things God has done.
This one word "remember" has been ringing in my ear and resonating in my Spirit for a few weeks now.
In Fervent, Priscilla Shirer asks her grandmother why she writes down her prayers in a prayer journal, she says ---so she won't forget.
I love photos. I have film photos. I have polaroids from elementary school. I absolutely adore looking through photos (you may have noticed this...I go a little crazy on Throwback Thursday on my instagram)
But here's the thing....we are a forgetful people. I can sit with my husband and tell him "Remember when?" More often than not my husband says "I don't remember that!"
It's not about reflecting on the good ole days...it's about recalling fond memories of God's glorious works, His miracles, His answers to prayers (yes, no or wait) and His hand upon my life.
I try to remember every day how God has answered so many prayers by giving Isaac speech. When I get frustrated because Isaac forgot to flush the toilet, I remember, there was a time I prayed and prayed and prayed for him to just learn how to use the potty. And he can. And we are thankful.
When I look in my home, I remember how I grew up with 1 bathroom for many people. Now I have 2 bathrooms in my home---GLORIOUS.
Sometimes I even look in my purse and find money. I recall when I was a teen and even 1 dollar meant I was rich! I could buy a soda or a bean burrito from Taco Bell. You get the picture.
Remind yourself.
We sing "I remind myself of all that you've done. And the life I have because of your Son"
This is what Easter is all about- reminding ourselves of the victory of the cross.
Sometimes I think we sanitize Easter. We know the story all too well.
Can you imagine being spit at?
Can you imagine being beaten while blind folded?
Can you imagine the pain of watching your friends leave you?
Can you imagine the pain of looking down at your mom, the one who cleaned every boo-boo you ever had, every scraped knee, now looking up at you dying a sinner's death and there was nothing she could do about it? Call the ACLU? No. Call a lawyer for failure to read him his Miranda rights? No. She could do nothing...nothing but watch in horror.
And what about the two gangsters next to you?
They deserved their death. They were guilty guilty guilty.
And what did they do? They joined in the mockery. You were the butt of jokes, even on the cross, people were laughing and sneering.
(Now this part I hate. It always gets me.)
The purple robe and crown of thorns. Royalty putting on rags. King of all authority wearing blood drops on his head where the thorns pierced through the already bruised and beaten forehead.
Then they strip the robe off peeling layers of bloody skin that dried to it and gamble for the robe.
When you truly create the Biblical image of the cross in your mind it makes you sick to your stomach....and that is not even the full picture. We can only visualize the best we can, but the truth is, the cross was worse- more horrific than we can ever dream.
Yet He did it for you and me.
So how can we NOT remember??
How can we NOT choose daily to remember His blessings BIG and small?
Here's what happens.
We get comfortable. We get comfortable in our "day in and day out" of life that we forget.
It's not intentional...It's just part of our brain- we are forgetful.
NOW how can we fix this?
Well as I mentioned previously I love photos.
I love to write notes to my husband.
I love to receive notes from family members and friends.
Let's choose to FORGET NOT His benefits.
Let's write it down. So we can remember. Let's take mental pictures of God's goodness and remind ourselves daily.
Write a thank you note to the LORD (like Keith Green did...He said he wrote a letter to the LORD and put it in His Bible)
Write a list of blessings and pull it out when you are feeling blue.
Choose to remember.
Choose to recall.
The memory is an amazing thing. All it needs is a trigger. That's why we are so blessed to have God's Word.
The psalms are filled with lists of miracles God did and invites us to remember.
Remember God gave Gideon the victory
Remember God saved Noah and his family
Remember God provided the ram/the sacrifice to be burned instead of Isaac
Remember Joseph and his troubles and how God worked all things together for good
Remember how He used little Esther's beauty to help save the Israelites for total destruction
Remember how God changed Saul into Paul and used him mightily
Remember when God paid that bill for you so miraculously
Remember when the LORD gave you the exact words to share with that stranger
Remember the day you said Yes to Jesus
Remember the cross
I love Psalm 103:2 in NLT it reads "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."
This is Good Friday and Easter. Remembering Jesus. Remembering His goodness to us. Choose to Remember and let not your heart be troubled as you forget NOT His benefits.
Monday, March 7, 2016
It's Buffering...
Uh oh- It's Stuck!
If you come over my home you will hear Isaac say this. He would get so frustrated when the computer website would not download I told him- use your words--and now he says "computer stuck" The Internet might be buffering or the website might not load correctly- it's stuck-
Last Sunday Robert Baltodano shared from Ecclesiastes 9 and shared about this reality- we are all going to die.
But the truth is we don't think about this every day. We try to avoid this topic.
We know we're going to die and we know we want to live a life of purpose but we get stuck. We get stuck on that hamster wheel of life.
Wake up get a cup of coffee read a couple Bible verses go to work come home cook dinner go to bed wake up do it all again and wait for the weekend.
I challenge you friends where is the purpose in that ?
God did not create us to be hamsters-God created us with purpose each unique by the Master's hand. God sent Jesus not so we can have fire insurance and avoid hell-- but God sent Jesus to give us abundant life.
John 10:10
So what's up?
It's buffering.
It's stuck.
It's loading.
A bad Wi-Fi connection?
Maybe--
Maybe just maybe our computer system of life is buffering---
We acknowledge something is wrong.
Something just ain't right!
There is something wrong when we see so many marriages failing. There's something wrong that we see so many 25 to 35-year-olds falling away from church and from walking with Jesus. There's something wrong that prayer meetings are so small. There's something wrong that so many servants are spread so thin...
There's something wrong when we see a lot of Moses-type-leaders but where are all the Joshuas?
Where is the passion ?
Where is the zeal?
Many in the church are staring at a computer because well...its buffering
Guess what?
We have a choice!
We can say- "hey wait a minute I'm not content with this hamster wheel life.
I am not content with maintaining the status quo."
Pastor Levi Lusko said every church is either
Risk-Taking
Maintaining
Or Undertaking
We can't sit around and wait for revival- we need to BE the revival.
We need to live passionately for God
We need to wait WITH EXPECTATION for God to move- wait in prayer and praise in the upper room.
We need to wake up and remember
WE ARE IN A WAR Eph 6.
If life seems "cushy and comfortable"
Be careful
You might be asleep- sleep walking
Or you might be slowly becoming numb to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit
Years ago I was participating in a fast.
Just me and Jesus...
Life was going pretty well at that time. No major trials. I just felt led to participate in this fast---
Then I realized something-
"IF YOU ARE NOT IN A TRIAL- PUT YOURSELF IN ONE."
What in the world does that mean?
Trials give us perspective.
Trials wake us up to the desperate need of God.
Just think about 9/11 and how people everywhere we're praying and the Lord used this terrible day to bring unity in our country.
So if you're not in a trial put yourself in one...
Intercede for someone who is hurting! (Care deeply)
Focus on the cross
Focus on praying for the lost
Meditate on verses that cause lamenting and Books like Job, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Lamentations, Psalm 22, 51, etc.
Go there.
Admit to God, "I'm too comfortable and I need you Holy Spirit to help me grieve over lost souls, help me pray without ceasing, show me the areas in my life where I am dead.
REVIVE ME... I admit to you God, my life has been stuck, I've been "buffering" waiting for better Wi-Fi waiting for someone else to do WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ME to do.
Jesus bring me to the cross."
Don't settle.
Life is too short to waste it in the monotony of religious activity- fall crazy in love with Jesus.
Don't wait- step into His will now.
He might be prompting you to take a step of faith. He might ask you to give something up. He might ask you to wake up earlier or stay up later. I don't know what God is telling you because He's personal and He speaks to you through His word specifically to your heart-
Let's do this! Let's start revival praying and revival living - bye bye hamster wheel- it's about to get REAL!
If you come over my home you will hear Isaac say this. He would get so frustrated when the computer website would not download I told him- use your words--and now he says "computer stuck" The Internet might be buffering or the website might not load correctly- it's stuck-
Last Sunday Robert Baltodano shared from Ecclesiastes 9 and shared about this reality- we are all going to die.
But the truth is we don't think about this every day. We try to avoid this topic.
We know we're going to die and we know we want to live a life of purpose but we get stuck. We get stuck on that hamster wheel of life.
Wake up get a cup of coffee read a couple Bible verses go to work come home cook dinner go to bed wake up do it all again and wait for the weekend.
I challenge you friends where is the purpose in that ?
God did not create us to be hamsters-God created us with purpose each unique by the Master's hand. God sent Jesus not so we can have fire insurance and avoid hell-- but God sent Jesus to give us abundant life.
John 10:10
So what's up?
It's buffering.
It's stuck.
It's loading.
A bad Wi-Fi connection?
Maybe--
Maybe just maybe our computer system of life is buffering---
We acknowledge something is wrong.
Something just ain't right!
There is something wrong when we see so many marriages failing. There's something wrong that we see so many 25 to 35-year-olds falling away from church and from walking with Jesus. There's something wrong that prayer meetings are so small. There's something wrong that so many servants are spread so thin...
There's something wrong when we see a lot of Moses-type-leaders but where are all the Joshuas?
Where is the passion ?
Where is the zeal?
Many in the church are staring at a computer because well...its buffering
Guess what?
We have a choice!
We can say- "hey wait a minute I'm not content with this hamster wheel life.
I am not content with maintaining the status quo."
Pastor Levi Lusko said every church is either
Risk-Taking
Maintaining
Or Undertaking
We can't sit around and wait for revival- we need to BE the revival.
We need to live passionately for God
We need to wait WITH EXPECTATION for God to move- wait in prayer and praise in the upper room.
We need to wake up and remember
WE ARE IN A WAR Eph 6.
If life seems "cushy and comfortable"
Be careful
You might be asleep- sleep walking
Or you might be slowly becoming numb to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit
Years ago I was participating in a fast.
Just me and Jesus...
Life was going pretty well at that time. No major trials. I just felt led to participate in this fast---
Then I realized something-
"IF YOU ARE NOT IN A TRIAL- PUT YOURSELF IN ONE."
What in the world does that mean?
Trials give us perspective.
Trials wake us up to the desperate need of God.
Just think about 9/11 and how people everywhere we're praying and the Lord used this terrible day to bring unity in our country.
So if you're not in a trial put yourself in one...
Intercede for someone who is hurting! (Care deeply)
Focus on the cross
Focus on praying for the lost
Meditate on verses that cause lamenting and Books like Job, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Lamentations, Psalm 22, 51, etc.
Go there.
Admit to God, "I'm too comfortable and I need you Holy Spirit to help me grieve over lost souls, help me pray without ceasing, show me the areas in my life where I am dead.
REVIVE ME... I admit to you God, my life has been stuck, I've been "buffering" waiting for better Wi-Fi waiting for someone else to do WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ME to do.
Jesus bring me to the cross."
Don't settle.
Life is too short to waste it in the monotony of religious activity- fall crazy in love with Jesus.
Don't wait- step into His will now.
He might be prompting you to take a step of faith. He might ask you to give something up. He might ask you to wake up earlier or stay up later. I don't know what God is telling you because He's personal and He speaks to you through His word specifically to your heart-
Let's do this! Let's start revival praying and revival living - bye bye hamster wheel- it's about to get REAL!
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Set him up for Success- Marriage Workshop
Success
Love mentioned over 300 times in the Bible
But what is love?
Love is agape-
Love is sacrifice
Song by for King and country
Let my life be the proof the proof of your love-
Let me love look like you-
Love is sacrifice
Dr Eggerichs author of Love & respect describes love as thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness
The words "servant, " "service, " and "serve, " in various forms, occur well over 1, 100 times in the Bible
In fact love and serve can be synonyms
Jesus is love and He said I didn't come to be served but to serve
Love is AGAPE
Love is attractive
Love is sacrificial
Why in marriage is love a challenge? Because you have two sinners intimately glued together-
Recipe for success? Or recipe for disaster
The Bible says wives are helpmates
In the kitchen-that would be the Sous chef
They assist
Sous-Chef is a chef who is "the second in command in a kitchen; the person ranking next after the head chef.
The sous-chef has many responsibilities because the executive chef has a more overarching role. Sous-chefs must plan and direct how the food is presented on the plate, keep their kitchen staff in order, train new chefs, create the work schedule, and make sure all the food that goes to customers is of the best quality to make customers happy-
Basically the sous chef is the wife.
You are the sous chef and the master of the assist
Chris Paul (of the LA clippers) is the great "assist" in basketball- he's self less! As long as his team is winning- he's also winning
I often tell my husband we are a team.
Chris Paul is a great player because he makes other people around him better.
I often tell my husband we are
Team gonzalez
(My husband says I'm not allowed to be sick- because you're the mvp)
So how can you be successful in marriage?
You Set him up for success
1. S stay spirit filled
Pray every morning
Holy Spirit fill me up!
But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
John 14:26
The Holy Spirit is the Helper the Counselor the Comforter
"Helper- help me be his helpmate "
Holy Spirit you are welcome here- that's not just for church, we need this in the home-
We need the Holy Spirit to help us in our role in marriage
Eccl 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
God is the third cord
Remember your unity candle?
Remember your vows?
For richer or poorer in sickness and health
Trials are inevitable-
We need the Holy Spirits help to stay joy filled during the trials
Let me share an encouraging thought from a Proverbs 31 ministry devotion
"Difficulties in marriage are hardly positive experiences at the time, yet the Bible paints a beautiful picture of them. The reason is simply because struggles, trials and hard work are part of the development process God uses to get the most out of us and the best for us."
He brings beauty from ashes Isaiah 61:3
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
2. U unity Jesus prayer for unity in John 17- may they be One as we are One - a house divided cannot stand; Mark 3:25 NLT -a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. Ladies, please if you have a grudge against your husband let it go- forgive him- this is a blessing to God. We need to work with all our might to keep unity- especially in marriage- Eph 4:1-3
3. I, Therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace
4. Serving together- Satan definitely hates a couple that is serving the Lord, so keep your armor on - Eph 6.
Free your husband up to serve and if possible serve together-
And also keep in mind if your husband is a leader for example in lion tamer's or a men's small group or any ministry by you staying home with the kids or maybe you don't have children and you are at home while he serves- let him- you are partaking of that treasure in heaven. Free him up to serve. This is really important. Especially in the busy day and age we live in we can feel like we want our husbands free time to ourselves. LISTEN -Your husband has gifts that God can use to bless the body of Christ. You should encourage him to serve not discourage him-
3. C communication - updates (know the timing, tone and topic) NOT when he first walks through the door - Eph 5:33 women need love, men need respect- need it. It's the Biblical format for marriage- many times couples fight because they don't know how to communicate effectively -know your husband, study him, know what makes him tick and build him up. Yes there are challenging topics like raising kids, disciplining kids, finances, saving for the future. Where to live, etc. we must watch how we communicate- don't tear him down build him up- speak words seasoned with salt
Col 4:6 says let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Of course this verse applies to our spouse. I challenge you- think about not just what you say but how you say things to your husband- ladies raising your voice is disrespectful- watch this- pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you and if necessary- repent- keep a journal - if you blow it with your tongue - write it down, try to find out what the trigger is- maybe you were hungry or it was a hot topic, or maybe you got overly emotional- for example, if your husband says I like this meal you prepared BUT I don't really like bell peppers, don't take it so personal. Just take a mental note of that and say OK sweetheart. He's not trying to tell you that your cooking is terrible - he is just simply telling you he doesn't like peppers . We as women Often "read into" our husbands words - don't do this. Don't react, pray and let the Lord speak to you before you speak to him and say something you might later regret-
3. C cultivate intimacy - intimacy is not just physical which of course is important to share intimate moments- but intimacy it starts in the morning - go on dates. Show kindness to him. Put notes in his lunch bag, text him scripture - treat him nice
4. E enjoy each other- best friend, show kindness to each other LOVE - be a friend - shoulder to shoulder, laugh together, watch AFV together for example - also turn the off button from your busy schedule- get a sitter or take a personal day off from work and go on a date- no cell phones- leave them in the car- take a walk in the park- the beach- Big bear- reconnect, enjoy each other - think about it- many ladies go to the glen ivy or other day spa and catch up with girl friends- do this with your husband- my husband and I once a year go to a bed and breakfast in the Cambria area- or Santa Barbara- - or here's another idea get a hotel even locally just a mini get away helps to refresh and Recharge your marriage
5. S Spend time in the Word your own devotional time, your own walk with the Lord affects your marriage. As you sit at Jesus' feet daily... Listen... Daily ! God will change you into that Prov 31 woman you desire to be ,
What did Jesus say when He was tempted? It is written- he uses the sword of the Spirit against the enemy
The weapons of our warfare are not carnal
6. S spend time in prayer
For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance Phil 1:19
Imagine this is your husband speaking to you-☝🏽️your husband needs your prayers -
If not you, who?
Prayer is important why?
Satan wants our husband-
He wants to take him out
With what?
Temptation- porn, work load, responsibilities, hobbies video games
Lust of the flesh lust of the eyes and pride of life
All these things are tugging at your husbands heart
Don't nag him pray for him
He's going through enough-
Men have heavy duty struggles as the leader and priest of the home
Show him love- be kind to him!
Show him grace
Eph 5:2 walk in love
Pray for him.
Pray daily
Pray at the lunch hour
Text him a scripture encouragement
Pray through the hard seasons -
You might not always like each other-
Pray through
I have a Friend who is having a hard time in her marriage
Her husband is pulling away
She tells me
He used to pray with me take me to church but not in a long time
Do you know what she does?
In the middle of the night she lays hands on him and prays for him
How many of you have seen war room?
Pray for him
Fast for him
Ask him- how can I pray for you?
Show him respect by submitting to him as unto the Lord
1 Peter 3:1-2 says
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
Matthew Henry's comments on 1 Peter 3- regarding husbands and wives
They are heirs together of all the blessings of this life and that which is to come, and should live peaceably one with another. Prayer sweetens their converse. And it is not enough that they pray with the family, but husband and wife together by themselves, and then with their children. Those who are acquainted with prayer, find such unspeakable sweetness -
I just loved that!
Prayer sweetens
Who doesn't want a sweet marriage?
There is a bond that the Holy Spirit seals when a husband and wife pray together.
There is power in it- and it also builds intimacy too.
There's nothing more real and sweet than pouring out your heart to the Lord in prayer with your spouse.
Maybe you say Laura, I would love to pray with my man, but he's not saved, or he's not strong in his walk
To the gal with an Unsaved husband -
First of all- I want to say, you are remarkable -
You are a living Gospel everyday to him.
You have a witness to him.
You might say to yourself but it's taking long....
I have a story to share
A friend of mine waited years and years and prayed for her husbands salvation
He wouldn't attend church and she got up and got her children dressed and attended alone for many years...
Then one day alone she fully surrendered to the Lord
She admitted- Jesus you are my savior but I confess I have not been living with you as Lord and CEO of my life for all these years ...
The holy spirit began to transform her and he noticed- "you're different" he said...
He got saved shortly after-
Why?
Because she said a persuasive lecture?
No. It was Her conduct- her conduct demonstrated the Fruit of the Spirit- Love
And the children of this family- now adults said thank you mom- thank you for not leaving Dad-
The adult children also benefited from their mom's obedience to the Lord
Listen
All husbands can grow in their passion for Jesus by the conduct of their wives.
1 Peter 3:1-2 shows us Even unsaved husbands can be won through the godly conduct of loving wives.
Submission is attractive.
Pastor David Guzik says -
The unbelieving husband sees this behaviour (what behavior ? Her kindness sacrifice, love of God and submission to his leadership role in the home her love for him) and he sees the beauty of it. Within his heart there is a witness that this is right, this is how God intended men and women to relate as husband as wife. He concludes, therefore, that the gospel which his wife believes must be true as well."
My sister is one of the most selfless people and selfless wife
I remember one time visiting her and she was on her lunch break-she came home on her lunch break and proceeded to make her unemployed husband a sandwich- then she made her daughter a sandwich and finally (mind you I was watching this) she made one for herself and had to use the end of the bread for her self- she did not complain she smiled
She served with joy sacrificially without Complaint
I'll never forget that scene-
Submission is attractive and shows the Holy Spirit is in you
praying together -
I encourage you to pray - pray and ask the Lord to show him the importance of praying together as husband and wife
If your husband is a believer- just ask him
Ask him -- honey can you pray for us for God to bless our day?
Start with first thing in the morning before the kids go off to school
Then build on that
Ask the Holy Spirit to help him see!
Be patient
Here's another important note- many people ---our husbands includes feel nervous to pray out loud- even with you.
So just be patient loving and gracious
There's a book recommended called
"When couples pray" by Cheri Fuller
get it and read it together
One note in the book says all of us face obstacles and challenges in our marriages but the good news is that God is for you he wants your marriage to succeed to be fulfilling and reflect His glory to the world around you. He has an inexhaustible storehouse of love and provision for you every single day of your life even new mercies every morning the key to accessing all these resources for your marriage and family is prayer
A Wise man builds his house on the rock
Danny and Silvia Colunga- example- he had cancer and then she became ill too...
God showed me his devotion to Christ represented a Real man- real marriage
Don't we all agree marriages need prayer.
If not you who?
Pray for your husband
Pray scripture over him
Pray for protection from the enemy
Pray for strongholds to be broken
Pray for his walk
Pray for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit
Maybe you're so tired
Maybe you're marriage is troubled and you feel like throwing in the towel
Let me ask you-
Have you prayed and fasted?
Remember in Matthew 17 Jesus said- this kind does not depart but by prayer and fasting- and also you must pray in faith
Phil 1:6- being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus
Pastor Dave Ralph said
Sometimes the reason we are frustrated with life (or frustrated in your marriage) is because we look in the mirror and see something as it shouldn't be.
"but you need to have the hope that God is not finished with you --- so enjoy life because you know God - He is good- and so expect great things to come and we expect great things from Him."
Pray with expectation
Pray unsafe
Pray bold asking God to Recharge your marriage with the Holy Spirit
Maybe you're thinking- Laura I do pray. I pray every day for my husband and marriage- still we are in a funk- or still we are not on fire for God as I desire us to be
One question-
I ask is there any Unforgiveness in your heart? Greg Laurie said -If you're someone who holds grudges if you keep score and can't let things go then you need to know something, you will suffer in life - - you also will see your prayer life come to a screeching halt.
Eph 4:32 - 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Greater love has no man than this than to lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Wives lay it down- forgive him and repent,
Lay down your life for the Lord
Lay down your life for husband
Show love by submitting to your husband as to the Lord
Show love by treating him special and setting him up for success
Show love by praying for him
For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance
Let's pray
Jesus said you have not because you
Ask not
Well we're here Lord and we're going to pray Big for marriages
Love mentioned over 300 times in the Bible
But what is love?
Love is agape-
Love is sacrifice
Song by for King and country
Let my life be the proof the proof of your love-
Let me love look like you-
Love is sacrifice
Dr Eggerichs author of Love & respect describes love as thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness
The words "servant, " "service, " and "serve, " in various forms, occur well over 1, 100 times in the Bible
In fact love and serve can be synonyms
Jesus is love and He said I didn't come to be served but to serve
Love is AGAPE
Love is attractive
Love is sacrificial
Why in marriage is love a challenge? Because you have two sinners intimately glued together-
Recipe for success? Or recipe for disaster
The Bible says wives are helpmates
In the kitchen-that would be the Sous chef
They assist
Sous-Chef is a chef who is "the second in command in a kitchen; the person ranking next after the head chef.
The sous-chef has many responsibilities because the executive chef has a more overarching role. Sous-chefs must plan and direct how the food is presented on the plate, keep their kitchen staff in order, train new chefs, create the work schedule, and make sure all the food that goes to customers is of the best quality to make customers happy-
Basically the sous chef is the wife.
You are the sous chef and the master of the assist
Chris Paul (of the LA clippers) is the great "assist" in basketball- he's self less! As long as his team is winning- he's also winning
I often tell my husband we are a team.
Chris Paul is a great player because he makes other people around him better.
I often tell my husband we are
Team gonzalez
(My husband says I'm not allowed to be sick- because you're the mvp)
So how can you be successful in marriage?
You Set him up for success
1. S stay spirit filled
Pray every morning
Holy Spirit fill me up!
But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
John 14:26
The Holy Spirit is the Helper the Counselor the Comforter
"Helper- help me be his helpmate "
Holy Spirit you are welcome here- that's not just for church, we need this in the home-
We need the Holy Spirit to help us in our role in marriage
Eccl 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
God is the third cord
Remember your unity candle?
Remember your vows?
For richer or poorer in sickness and health
Trials are inevitable-
We need the Holy Spirits help to stay joy filled during the trials
Let me share an encouraging thought from a Proverbs 31 ministry devotion
"Difficulties in marriage are hardly positive experiences at the time, yet the Bible paints a beautiful picture of them. The reason is simply because struggles, trials and hard work are part of the development process God uses to get the most out of us and the best for us."
He brings beauty from ashes Isaiah 61:3
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
2. U unity Jesus prayer for unity in John 17- may they be One as we are One - a house divided cannot stand; Mark 3:25 NLT -a family splintered by feuding will fall apart. Ladies, please if you have a grudge against your husband let it go- forgive him- this is a blessing to God. We need to work with all our might to keep unity- especially in marriage- Eph 4:1-3
3. I, Therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace
4. Serving together- Satan definitely hates a couple that is serving the Lord, so keep your armor on - Eph 6.
Free your husband up to serve and if possible serve together-
And also keep in mind if your husband is a leader for example in lion tamer's or a men's small group or any ministry by you staying home with the kids or maybe you don't have children and you are at home while he serves- let him- you are partaking of that treasure in heaven. Free him up to serve. This is really important. Especially in the busy day and age we live in we can feel like we want our husbands free time to ourselves. LISTEN -Your husband has gifts that God can use to bless the body of Christ. You should encourage him to serve not discourage him-
3. C communication - updates (know the timing, tone and topic) NOT when he first walks through the door - Eph 5:33 women need love, men need respect- need it. It's the Biblical format for marriage- many times couples fight because they don't know how to communicate effectively -know your husband, study him, know what makes him tick and build him up. Yes there are challenging topics like raising kids, disciplining kids, finances, saving for the future. Where to live, etc. we must watch how we communicate- don't tear him down build him up- speak words seasoned with salt
Col 4:6 says let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Of course this verse applies to our spouse. I challenge you- think about not just what you say but how you say things to your husband- ladies raising your voice is disrespectful- watch this- pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you and if necessary- repent- keep a journal - if you blow it with your tongue - write it down, try to find out what the trigger is- maybe you were hungry or it was a hot topic, or maybe you got overly emotional- for example, if your husband says I like this meal you prepared BUT I don't really like bell peppers, don't take it so personal. Just take a mental note of that and say OK sweetheart. He's not trying to tell you that your cooking is terrible - he is just simply telling you he doesn't like peppers . We as women Often "read into" our husbands words - don't do this. Don't react, pray and let the Lord speak to you before you speak to him and say something you might later regret-
3. C cultivate intimacy - intimacy is not just physical which of course is important to share intimate moments- but intimacy it starts in the morning - go on dates. Show kindness to him. Put notes in his lunch bag, text him scripture - treat him nice
4. E enjoy each other- best friend, show kindness to each other LOVE - be a friend - shoulder to shoulder, laugh together, watch AFV together for example - also turn the off button from your busy schedule- get a sitter or take a personal day off from work and go on a date- no cell phones- leave them in the car- take a walk in the park- the beach- Big bear- reconnect, enjoy each other - think about it- many ladies go to the glen ivy or other day spa and catch up with girl friends- do this with your husband- my husband and I once a year go to a bed and breakfast in the Cambria area- or Santa Barbara- - or here's another idea get a hotel even locally just a mini get away helps to refresh and Recharge your marriage
5. S Spend time in the Word your own devotional time, your own walk with the Lord affects your marriage. As you sit at Jesus' feet daily... Listen... Daily ! God will change you into that Prov 31 woman you desire to be ,
What did Jesus say when He was tempted? It is written- he uses the sword of the Spirit against the enemy
The weapons of our warfare are not carnal
6. S spend time in prayer
For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance Phil 1:19
Imagine this is your husband speaking to you-☝🏽️your husband needs your prayers -
If not you, who?
Prayer is important why?
Satan wants our husband-
He wants to take him out
With what?
Temptation- porn, work load, responsibilities, hobbies video games
Lust of the flesh lust of the eyes and pride of life
All these things are tugging at your husbands heart
Don't nag him pray for him
He's going through enough-
Men have heavy duty struggles as the leader and priest of the home
Show him love- be kind to him!
Show him grace
Eph 5:2 walk in love
Pray for him.
Pray daily
Pray at the lunch hour
Text him a scripture encouragement
Pray through the hard seasons -
You might not always like each other-
Pray through
I have a Friend who is having a hard time in her marriage
Her husband is pulling away
She tells me
He used to pray with me take me to church but not in a long time
Do you know what she does?
In the middle of the night she lays hands on him and prays for him
How many of you have seen war room?
Pray for him
Fast for him
Ask him- how can I pray for you?
Show him respect by submitting to him as unto the Lord
1 Peter 3:1-2 says
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
Matthew Henry's comments on 1 Peter 3- regarding husbands and wives
They are heirs together of all the blessings of this life and that which is to come, and should live peaceably one with another. Prayer sweetens their converse. And it is not enough that they pray with the family, but husband and wife together by themselves, and then with their children. Those who are acquainted with prayer, find such unspeakable sweetness -
I just loved that!
Prayer sweetens
Who doesn't want a sweet marriage?
There is a bond that the Holy Spirit seals when a husband and wife pray together.
There is power in it- and it also builds intimacy too.
There's nothing more real and sweet than pouring out your heart to the Lord in prayer with your spouse.
Maybe you say Laura, I would love to pray with my man, but he's not saved, or he's not strong in his walk
To the gal with an Unsaved husband -
First of all- I want to say, you are remarkable -
You are a living Gospel everyday to him.
You have a witness to him.
You might say to yourself but it's taking long....
I have a story to share
A friend of mine waited years and years and prayed for her husbands salvation
He wouldn't attend church and she got up and got her children dressed and attended alone for many years...
Then one day alone she fully surrendered to the Lord
She admitted- Jesus you are my savior but I confess I have not been living with you as Lord and CEO of my life for all these years ...
The holy spirit began to transform her and he noticed- "you're different" he said...
He got saved shortly after-
Why?
Because she said a persuasive lecture?
No. It was Her conduct- her conduct demonstrated the Fruit of the Spirit- Love
And the children of this family- now adults said thank you mom- thank you for not leaving Dad-
The adult children also benefited from their mom's obedience to the Lord
Listen
All husbands can grow in their passion for Jesus by the conduct of their wives.
1 Peter 3:1-2 shows us Even unsaved husbands can be won through the godly conduct of loving wives.
Submission is attractive.
Pastor David Guzik says -
The unbelieving husband sees this behaviour (what behavior ? Her kindness sacrifice, love of God and submission to his leadership role in the home her love for him) and he sees the beauty of it. Within his heart there is a witness that this is right, this is how God intended men and women to relate as husband as wife. He concludes, therefore, that the gospel which his wife believes must be true as well."
My sister is one of the most selfless people and selfless wife
I remember one time visiting her and she was on her lunch break-she came home on her lunch break and proceeded to make her unemployed husband a sandwich- then she made her daughter a sandwich and finally (mind you I was watching this) she made one for herself and had to use the end of the bread for her self- she did not complain she smiled
She served with joy sacrificially without Complaint
I'll never forget that scene-
Submission is attractive and shows the Holy Spirit is in you
praying together -
I encourage you to pray - pray and ask the Lord to show him the importance of praying together as husband and wife
If your husband is a believer- just ask him
Ask him -- honey can you pray for us for God to bless our day?
Start with first thing in the morning before the kids go off to school
Then build on that
Ask the Holy Spirit to help him see!
Be patient
Here's another important note- many people ---our husbands includes feel nervous to pray out loud- even with you.
So just be patient loving and gracious
There's a book recommended called
"When couples pray" by Cheri Fuller
get it and read it together
One note in the book says all of us face obstacles and challenges in our marriages but the good news is that God is for you he wants your marriage to succeed to be fulfilling and reflect His glory to the world around you. He has an inexhaustible storehouse of love and provision for you every single day of your life even new mercies every morning the key to accessing all these resources for your marriage and family is prayer
A Wise man builds his house on the rock
Danny and Silvia Colunga- example- he had cancer and then she became ill too...
God showed me his devotion to Christ represented a Real man- real marriage
Don't we all agree marriages need prayer.
If not you who?
Pray for your husband
Pray scripture over him
Pray for protection from the enemy
Pray for strongholds to be broken
Pray for his walk
Pray for him to be filled with the Holy Spirit
Maybe you're so tired
Maybe you're marriage is troubled and you feel like throwing in the towel
Let me ask you-
Have you prayed and fasted?
Remember in Matthew 17 Jesus said- this kind does not depart but by prayer and fasting- and also you must pray in faith
Phil 1:6- being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus
Pastor Dave Ralph said
Sometimes the reason we are frustrated with life (or frustrated in your marriage) is because we look in the mirror and see something as it shouldn't be.
"but you need to have the hope that God is not finished with you --- so enjoy life because you know God - He is good- and so expect great things to come and we expect great things from Him."
Pray with expectation
Pray unsafe
Pray bold asking God to Recharge your marriage with the Holy Spirit
Maybe you're thinking- Laura I do pray. I pray every day for my husband and marriage- still we are in a funk- or still we are not on fire for God as I desire us to be
One question-
I ask is there any Unforgiveness in your heart? Greg Laurie said -If you're someone who holds grudges if you keep score and can't let things go then you need to know something, you will suffer in life - - you also will see your prayer life come to a screeching halt.
Eph 4:32 - 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Greater love has no man than this than to lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
Wives lay it down- forgive him and repent,
Lay down your life for the Lord
Lay down your life for husband
Show love by submitting to your husband as to the Lord
Show love by treating him special and setting him up for success
Show love by praying for him
For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance
Let's pray
Jesus said you have not because you
Ask not
Well we're here Lord and we're going to pray Big for marriages
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