Raising Isaac, Life on a Saturday- Personal Notes after Reading Through the Eyes of a Lion

Saturday
If you recall there is a fun song by De La Soul with a hook singing "Saturday it's Saturday... Saturday it's Saturday" over and over again.

I remember the first time I heard this song. I was at a dance party with girl friends and yes, it was a Saturday.  
Fast Forward 15 years or so....

My son Isaac wakes up.

He has autism.

He says "School?" I tell him no not today. Then he says "Church?" "No son not today it's Saturday."

He knows routines. It's wired in him.

He wants to know what's going on this morning but the world is so confusing to him.

I tried to explain it but he just walked away confused. I imagine he's thinking "What's a Saturday? She did not answer my question. What is planned for today?"

Then after a few weeks. I explained the same thing...it's Saturday.
He said in the best way he could "itz Sah-uh-Day"
Yes!!
I was so thrilled he understood.
Saturdays we stay home.
We don't go to the bus and we don't get ready for church. We can sleep in because it's Saturday.

I just finished reading Levi Lusko's book "Through the Eyes of a Lion," I have deeper meaning for the time of life that is "Saturday..." In fact autism now for me is living in a perpetual Saturday.

For us as believers, when we celebrate the resurrection weekend, Friday is painful and it's the day of crucifixion. Saturday is a day of great sorrow for the believers. They are scared and bewildered they do not know yet that Jesus will rise from the dead (although He repeatedly told them He would)
And even if they did know and believed it had not happened yet. It was Saturday. (Pastor Levi Lusko shares this in his book) Sunday was coming but it was STILL Saturday.

When I was praying for Isaac to speak it was so painful.
He was 2 no words...3 no words...now 4 and still no words. Maybe I should teach him sign language.
Would words ever come?

I trusted God and His Word.

I treasured every verse that spoke of the mouth or the tongue or speech.
One day I found Psalm 51:15, unseal my lips that I may praise you (NLT)
That's it Lord!
You made Isaac's mouth!
If you desire him to speak it will be done.
And if he speaks may his lips praise You.
I realized speech was more than verbal communication.
God could help Isaac communicate whether or not he spoke verbally in English.

The waiting hurt.
My heart ached.
It was a Saturday.

I shared with a friend that I trusted God created Isaac and I knew it didn't matter that he had autism and he could go to heaven and be freed from all speech issues, developmental delays and social skill difficulties but NOW I struggled with today- Saturday. Raising a child with autism was going to be hard and I needed Jesus' help or I would not be able to do it.

Years ago Pastor Greg Laurie said our life is a "dash" we are born and then we die. How we live out our "dash" that is our time on earth will determine heaven or hell, for Jesus or against him. (Pastor Levi Lusko also references this in the book)

I trusted God would use Isaac and could heal him if He chose to, but again, today felt like any endless Saturday....waiting and waiting with little progress regarding communication.

When I read "Through the Eyes of a Lion" the section on Saturday it really struck me...
Living with Autism is like Saturday.
Yes Isaac does speak now (glory to Jesus) but it's still very hard.

ME- how was your day?
How old are you Isaac?
ISAAC- No response.

I am a communicative person. It's in my core! It's part of my identity! I'm a lawyer and also an intercessor whether I'm taking in a court room or to God in the throne room- it's what I do! I talk. But my son can't. Pain like a flood. Why can't the rapture just happen RIGHT NOW? I want heaven and to be with Jesus. I found I have a longing for Saturday to be over and for Resurrection Sunday to be here!

I often day dream  of what it will be like talking to Isaac in heaven. I picture him praising Jesus. I picture him unbound by autism- freely able to express himself.
I picture eye contact...where he looks at me and doesn't feel uncomfortable.
I imagine him telling me that he did understand the Bible studies, the worship time, the spontaneous praise we exhibited as a family.

See in many ways- we are all like Isaac, autistic in our thinking.

We know we are heaven  bound but we have earthly fixations and quirks so tied into our DNA, our sin nature that it's hard to focus. We want to pray to our ABBA and praise in a heavenly language but we can't because we have communication set backs...how can we use a earthly tongue to talk to a Holy Splendor magnificent Father?
(answer:With God's Spirit that's how)
But you get the point...

So here's my encouragement whatever trial you are in, or life circumstance, it feels like a depressing Saturday...
But your joy is a choice. Psalm 16:11

We have the Bible we know the whole story!

We don't have to lock ourselves in a room like the disciples did afraid of the soldiers.

We can boldly say! OUR STORY ISN'T OVER!
God is for me!
He brings beauty from ashes
Changes Sorrow to gladness
Wipes all tears
Weeps over Israel
Jesus Was the wounded savior acquainted with grief
And He can (and WILL) make all things new

If you tune in to the Spirit, hold fast to prayer, Praise and meditating on His Word...He may give you a glimpse of ---- SUNDAY

One day Isaac was about 4 and non-verbal.
I prayed over him and wept and asked God to show me how to pray and prayed Psalm 51:15 over Isaac.
God spoke to my soul, not audibly, but He spoke to me that Isaac would speak. My husband had a dream Isaac said "chips"
In fact Isaac's first word was bacon ...and the boy does loves to eat.

One of our favorite memories is Isaac saying bacon. One of the best days of my life...Chuck Olivia and I all in the kitchen and he said bacon! Truly I thank God for unsealing my son's lips! (he doesn't speak sentences and will probably ignore you if you come over our home...but he talks and I'm eternally thankful to God)

God does work all things together for good, (Romans 8:28, Gen 50:20) but you sure don't feel good about it on Saturday.

I recall a friend I know... she literally told God please take my life when she was giving birth to her first born because of the pain. The contractions.
We can chuckle about it now but birth  pains are excruciating.
I pray God helps you know we ALL grieve to be home in heaven. That's a huge point of "Through the Eyes of a Lion." Pain is real, Saturday is long, but live out your calling for God NOW because tomorrow is promised to no one.

Isaac is a beautiful boy and many times I don't even see the autism.

But it is very hard having to explain his behavior and live on egg shells whenever we go in public.

I could never equate raising a special needs child with what the Luskos family went through. I just hope through this blog to remind myself and others about the grief, longing and groaning we all should have for heaven. It's real and it will be glorious, but until them may Jesus "unseal" our lips that we may praise  Him.

Beware of the Pedestal

Pray for your Pastor

We all read those 4 words and say:
AMEN!

Our pastors are the men God has placed for such a time as this to be the leader and shepherd over the church. Each individual church with unique shepherds for a unique set of sheep.

We must pray for them. Paul asked for prayer "pray for me"
"Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel" Eph 6:19 (NIV) 

Prayer is something we must do ...

But something we shouldn't do is put pastors on a pedestal....

This reminds me of the lyrics of a Sherri Youngward song:

Pedestal
I held you so high on a pedestal
When you fell you had a long way to go
When you fell how was I to know
That I’d fall with you (Sherri Youngward)

A pedestal can be defined as a position in which someone is greatly or uncritically admired. Webster's gives this example:

"It's as if I'm on a pedestal and he worships me – I hate that"

Only God is to be Worshipped.

Of course!

We all know that. 10 Commandments 101 right?

“You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3

But why then do people put Pastors on Pedestals? (I've done it too! Admit it, we all have from one time or another)

One reason- we're Americans. 

We worship the CEO (Steve Jobs) the Athlete (Michael Jordan) the office (President of the USA)  

The musician(s) the Beatles, Madonna, Taylor Swift, Back in the day New Kids On the Block (oh no you didn't) the actor Brad Pitt, the Actress Angelina Jolie, etc etc. 

Even doctors are placed on pedestals! They are "the expert" .

Gods Spirit lives in ALL OF US. From the infant, the adult serving in the children's ministry, the usher, the greeter, the groundskeeper, the accountant, the people in the prayer room interceding for  you, the study and Pastor, the friend who just accepted Jesus 1 week ago, the married couple who have attended for 30 years, and everyone in between. The Pastor is a VERY important person in the body of Christ no doubt, but we can't take the TMZ Entertainment Tonight mentality to our Pastor. 

Oh Jesus help us! 

I have literally heard people say "did you know Pastor so and so got a new car?" 

Are you serious? 
Or people call to find out if the Senior Pastor is here on Sunday or out of town? 

Why is this even important? 

It's not. 

Pastors are leaders and we must pray for them encourage them and show them grace just like any other brother and sister in Christ...but we are not to place them on a pedestal like a Reality TV show star or athlete. 

God alone is to be worshipped. Not anything or any one else. 

One of my favorite Pastor Teachers is Jon Courson. When my husband  and I met him in person he was totally down to earth and "normal" and encouraging. 

Yes I took a photo with him (I had too!) because I felt like he was someone I've known all my life and finally got to meet in person...like a pen pal. I listen to searchlight constantly...But The Lord reminded me that it's not the man, Pastor Jon per se that I admire- it's God's Spirit in Pastor Jon ...guess what ...that Spirit is in me too. And in you as well. Pray for your Pastor, the Pastoral staff and all church leaders...and pray for the church that we will not be like the world ---viewing Pastors as Super-Men, because there's only one Super-Man, JESUS.  

Also search your heart. Maybe you have never put a Pastor on a pedestal, but you have put a spouse, friend, or other leader there.  That spot is reserved for Jesus. 

Deut 6:5 "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."