Oh Snap!

Oh snap!
Do you find yourself easily annoyed or irritated?
Then this blog is for you...  
Ephesians 4:29
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them
Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man.

Oh Lord forgive me for my short patience. Oh Lord Jesus please forgive me for being well "snappy."
For being short with people or annoyed or even with my body language showing that I'm irritated.

I have a confession to make. Sometimes autism just gets to me. I love my son I love him more than life and he is a precious child. God created him special ... God is the potter and Isaac is the Clay. How dare I ever look to the potter and say what are you doing why did you make him different?
No I don't want to ask God why I want to trust in His character in that He is the Master potter the Master builder and He knows exactly what He is doing - He is Lord of all creation. God knit our family together, one boy one girl one typical child one on the autistic spectrum -that's what God designed for our Gonzalez family and I'm good with it. However there are times where I am just flat out irritable.

I'm annoyed at the checker for the way that she's looking at Isaac. I'm annoyed at the long line at the drive-through window because don't they understand kids with autism have a hard time waiting? I have never thought of myself as an impatient person but I find myself losing patience getting frustrated with people, the clerks,  teachers, etc. For example the other day I explained to Isaac's teacher and to the aids that we are trying a new therapy with Isaac and we are no longer giving him veggie tales or Larry boy or any type of characters like that. He had a meltdown and pinched a teacher because of a veggie tales book in the library. I wrote a long email and even had a meeting with the principal and program specialist explaining the need to not allow Isaac to have any veggie tales books at school. Then the next week in Isaac's log there's a note from the teacher that says "Isaac did well today and he was able to check out and return veggie tales book from the library."

I was extremely annoyed. After all of my efforts to explain to the principal, program specialist, teacher and aide that we do not want this... something still was lost in communication.

These type of things sometimes cause me to go over the edge. I am so sorry Lord for this. I do not like when my flesh rises up within me .. you might be reading this and think well I can't really relate I don't have a child with autism.
However search your heart, there might be certain triggers or certain things that cause you to snap. Maybe it's that you're hungry or maybe it's that you've been sitting in traffic all day or maybe it's that your spouse asked you a question and you were asked the same question 20 times during your day. Then the moment your spouse walks in the door there you go you snap because you are annoyed that yet another person asked you that question.

Snapping or being irritable or being annoyed is sin. This is something the Lord is reminding me lately when I am short on patience. I can try to minimize it or say that I need to give myself grace in this area because I'm a special-needs mom. Stop.
No.
I'm not going to do that !
I'm going to call it sin. God wants me to be a Spirit filled person a Spirit filled mom a Spirit filled wife. The problem with irritability getting easily annoyed or snapping is one word -the flesh. When the kids were younger I used to take "mommy time outs" and I would go in the restroom drop to my knees and pray alone in a room   and say "God please help me to be a spirit filled mom I don't want to be a yelling mom"
Think about it. When you are getting annoyed or irritated with another person you're failing to use grace. God wants us to be gracious people I want to exercise those fruits of the spirit not just let him sit  there stagnant. Think about those fruit that go uneaten in your fridge. What happens? They rot. We don't want to have rotten fruit. We want to be spirit filled believers - Galatians 5.
Love Joy peace long-suffering kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control. If you feel like me your flesh is rising up for this reason or that do not make excuses for it. Take a time out or whatever you want to call it -take a break. Take a prayer break- go talk to the Lord and confess to Him that you can seriously feel your flesh rising up and you're about to go postal on someone. Ask the Lord to help you to calm you to soothe you breathe and pray put on worship.

Also, I want to point out that when you do snap at someone you never feel good after you feel guilty and you feel bad that you snapped on an innocent victim. Oh snap. Please Lord help us not to snap but instead to confess our sins to you and to ask you to calm us and soothe us. Holy Spirit show us what the triggers are so we will not snap at others and hurt the feelings of others when they are sometimes just trying to help us.

Hug for Daddy

Hug for daddy

Children with autism are sensitive to touch. Many (not all) children on the spectrum do not like to be hugged. This is extremely hard for us parents. I must admit, when I see a child run up to his mom and squeal "Mommy!" And wrap his little chubby arms around the mother's neck, I become jealous...Isaac doesn't do this.

Isaac has improved and he will let you hug him, but it doesn't feel genuine. Again, this is painful.

On Feb 19, 2017 Isaac had an accident. He fell very hard and there was blood (thank God no stitches)
Chuck was sharing with me how Isaac ran to him and cried and sobbed and bled.

He hugged him.
A real hug.

How many times is this true of us?

We go to our Heavenly Father and give Him a half hearted "side hug"
It's not until we fall, (emotionally, sick physically, mentally spent, financially, hurt with a relationship problem, etc) THEN we give our Father a genuine hug. An embrace that says "I'm hurting and you're the only one who can comfort me"

The Holy Spirit is the Comforter.

John 14:15-18

“If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14:15-18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So thankful for our Heavenly Father's embrace and comfort.