Lazy Parenting Leads to Rebellious Kids

As a parent, of course I am concerned with the next generation. I want my kids to serve the LORD. This is a natural desire of every Christian parent. Godly parenting is work. God has been reminding me lately that lazy parenting leads to rebellious kids.

This truth is ALL OVER Scripture.

First, let me express why this is on my heart. Chuck and I chaperoned the 8th grade promotion Disneyland trip. We had a great time. However, the bus ride home was horrible. The kids were loud and talkative, which didn't bother me. My issue was with this-THE MUSIC. The bus driver was playing KIIS FM or some station and the kids were singing along to two songs...One was some about "Wanting to be a millionaire." The kids were singing along at the top of their lungs. It was not the song that bothered me as much as the excited way the kids sang the song...I felt this song expressed the next generation's mantra- "Give us money and forget morals and integrity. Forget God. Just make me a millionaire."

The second song was, "I kissed a girl and I liked it" sung by a female artist. The kids, boys and girls alike were singing this song with the same amount of enthusiasm. I literally was disgusted. My husband asked the bus driver to turn off the radio and the kids all said, "Hey...we like that song"

Oh man was my heart grieved...

The very next morning I read in my devotions about Eli the priest. I love the story of Samuel and how he was used of the LORD from his youth (or rather infancy) all the way through the end of his life. Hannah, Samuel's mom, prayed for him and gave his life over to be used by God and for His glory. Eli did not have such wisdom with his own children. Eli's sons, Hophni and Phineas were bad apples.
1 Samuel 2:12 says, "Now the sons of Eli [were] corrupt; they did not know the LORD."
The Bible further records how these corrupt priests (the adult children of Eli, a very righteous man) would seduce the women at the very steps of the tabernacle.
What did Eli do about it?

The Word states, "Now Eli was very old; and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel, [and how they lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of meeting." 1 Samuel 2:22

So he said to them, "Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people.

No, my sons! For [it is] not a good report that I hear. You make the LORD's people transgress.

If one man sins against another, God will judge him. But if a man sins against the LORD, who will intercede for him?" Nevertheless they did not heed the voice of their father, because the LORD desired to kill them.
1 Samuel 2:23-25

Yes Eli rebuked them, but it was too late. He had allowed their behavior to go on without punishment or correction and now they were set in their ways. You see, I believe Eli got lazy in his parenting.

As I heard those kids singing those songs my heart broke. At first I was annoyed. Yuck! This music is awful. The lyrics are so morally repugnant (a fancy way of saying evil in God's eyes) and make me sick! However, later, when I read this story of Eli and his sons, I started to weep. You see, it's not the kids' fault. They are 8th graders. Yes, they are responsible for their own sins...but who told them what was right and what was wrong? I fault the parents. I believe parents these days are not instructing children anymore. Parents are too concerned with work, a mortgage payment, careers, fashion, celebrity gossip, vacations, and other distractions and they are letting cable TV, MTV, radio, internet, video games, and even national television raise their kids. The culture is influencing children for evil and many parents choose to turn a blind eye.

I can't imagine my parents allowing me listen to a song that says, "I kissed a girl and I liked it." I know that my parents were involved parents. My parents would literally call me at my friend's house when I spent the night to make sure everything was OK. My parents would get to know my friends and get to know their parents before I was allowed to have a sleep over. My parents purchased the CD's I listened to and knew what type I music I was into...Of course I wasn't perfect and I did listen to some inappropriate music from time to time...but the point is, my parents cared enough to be involved.

This is what grieves my heart. Eli was a man that feared God. He worshipped God and served him as a priest! Yet he failed to correct his sons. King David did this too.

Why is it that when we get so "busy" whether it be with worldly activities like partying (drinking, doing drugs, etc.) or Christ-centered and church related activities like being involved in Bible studies or evangelistic outreaches, we FORGET ABOUT RAISING OUR KIDS TO LOVE AND FEAR GOD?

Why do we neglect to discipline our children? OK, remember, I am not a pastor, preacher or scholar or anything...(just a concerned parent) but this is what I feel the LORD is telling me...We as a society in Old Testament times and even today, we simply get lazy with raising our kids.

1 Samuel 4:17-18 says, "So the messenger answered [to Eli] and said, "Israel has fled before the Philistines, and there has been a great slaughter among the people. Also your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, are dead; and the ark of God has been captured."

Then it happened, when he made mention of the ark of God, that Eli fell off the seat backward by the side of the gate; and his neck was broken and he died, for the man was old and heavy.

The New Living Translation says Eli was "fat." I read this and I could not believe how this story mirrors our society today.

Warren Wiersbe's commentary says Eli lead a sedentary life and was probably overweight because of all the goodies he got to eat as a priest (remember they got a portion of the altar sacrifices).

Eli got lazy! He loved the LORD but he failed to instruct his sons how to love God like he did. He failed to correct them. He knew their lives would end in destruction...Notice that Eli doesn't even fall of of his seat because his sons were dead. He falls off his seat because he heard that the ark of God had been captured. I think Eli just gave up on his sons. Eli realized he failed as a parent and just threw his arms up and gave up in correcting them.

That's what many American parents do too. We just give up. "Yeah I know MTV is influencing my kids...Yeah I know my children listen to inappropriate music and inappropriate movies and inappropriate internet sites...but I give up. I am heavy and overweight and frankly, tired and lazy. But I'll make it to church next Sunday even if my kids don't want to come with me"

Oh how backwards this is! We must learn to teach our kids. To train our children in the way they should go. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. (John 14:6) Pastor David Rosales was sharing the other day how you don't need to train a child to hit his/her little brother or sister. You don't need to train a child to lie or to misbehave. These behaviors come out naturally, because of our sin tendencies. We as parents have the great responsiblity of shielding our children from evil whether that be in the form of music, TV, internet, friendships or activities.

The psalmist David wisely said, "I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will not know wickedness. "
Psalm 101:3-4

May we wake up and be sober and vigilant and PRAY over our kids and instruct them to be different! May we be caring, prayerful parents instead of lazy parents. May our children walk with the LORD and one day rise up and call us blessed. Proverbs 31:28

Even if a child does walk away from the LORD, don't give up on them...Let's not be lazy. Let's be prayerful and watch God work His miracles as He always does.