Why Stay Bitter? (Thoughts on Bitterness from the book of Ruth)

I like Ruth. She is a woman of integrity and strength. One of two women in the Bible with her own book named after her.

She was determined. She was loyal. She was resolute to stay by her mother in law Naomi’s side and said those famous words (often quoted at weddings), “I will go wherever you go and live wherever you life. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there.” Ruth 1:16b-17 NLT

Naomi, Ruth’s mother in law knew she wasn’t going to win a fight with Ruth. If Ruth said this, she meant it and she wasn’t going to back down.

As the two widowed women traveled back to Bethlehem they are greeted by the welcoming committee, “Is it really Naomi?” They are excited to see her. But Naomi isn’t excited about anything. She says, “Don’t call me ‘Naomi.’ …Instead call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me home empty. Why should you call me Naomi when the LORD has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy?”…

“So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by her daughter-in-law Ruth, the young Moabite woman.”
Ruth1:19b-22 NLT

Something is said to be bitter when it is a : peculiarly astringent, or disagreeable or b : distasteful or distressing. A “bitter situation” can be defined as a circumstance that is marked by intensity or severity accompanied by severe pain or suffering; bitterness in in emotion is expressive of severe pain or grief.

OK, so Naomi had some rough times.

As I read this, I think of people today in 2010. Job lay offs, the crash of the real estate market, bad economic times, cancer, murder, prodigal children, divorce, sudden death, miscarriage, addictions, earthquakes, etc. There are so many tragedies any one of us can become bitter. Naomi’s husband died and then later her sons die too. Tragic indeed.

But I want you to notice something that I never saw before in studying Ruth. Notice she asks the ladies to call her “Mara” because she is bitter. A name change in the Bible is common. We know this happened often.

Abram becomes Abraham. Jacob becomes Israel. Saul becomes Paul. Simon becomes Peter, etc.
Here, Naomi says, “I’ve hit hard times. God has allowed it. I am bitter.” “Don’t call me Naomi.” Naomi means “Pleasant.” She says call me “Mara” which means “Bitter.”
“I am no longer pleasant. I’ve lost my joy. I am sad and bitter and that’s that!”

Well, I’ve heard this story of Ruth and Naomi before. But as you know, the Bible is God breathed and can speak to you even though you have read a passage 10, 15, 20 or even 100 times. God speaks to us through His Word! (2Tim 3:16-17) Today, I learned something NEW about Naomi. As she is complaining that she is bitter, she asks her friends to change her name to Mara.

But notice, God doesn’t change her name.

The passage says, “So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by her daughter-in-law.” Naomi is complaining and crying out to her friends how her life has been hard. We all go through hardships. Some more than others. But Naomi makes a false statement she says, I’ve changed my name “Call me Mara” but God wasn’t done with her.

Notice something with me, in the individuals I named earlier, Abraham, Israel, Paul and Peter GOD CHANGED THEIR NAMES. God was the one doing the name changing. It doesn’t work the other way around.

Here, Naomi wants to change her name from Pleasant to Bitterness but the Word of God still calls her Naomi. Cool huh? We all know the story. Ruth meets Boaz. Boaz is a distant relative of Naomi’s. They have a son named Obed (by custom, this son is also considered a son or heir to Naomi’s son, and thus Obed is her Naomi’s grandson). Obed is the descendant of Perez who is the son of Judah, and the grandfather of David. Naomi is blessed once again. Naomi is the great-great-great grandmother of King David.

So here’s what I learned, don’t jump the gun. Don’t change your name from “Pleasant” to “Bitter” when trials come. You don’t know what God is doing! Your story is not over yet!

The other day I was talking with a sweet girlfriend of mine who experienced many trials in the last 2 years. Poor investments resulted in a loss of her home. Her and her husband nearly divorced. A TV fell on her young daughter cracking her cranium and resulting in immediate brain surgery for her daughter. She was in tears telling me she prayed, "God please take me instead. Please spare my daughter." Moving from a house to a cramped apartment. A recent job layoff. I couldn’t believe it as she was telling me all of this. This is real life.

She then said, “I am the happiest I’ve ever been. God has broken down my pride. Pride I didn’t even know was there. I am so close to the LORD, to my husband and I treasure my children. I have it all.”

See, my friend chose the narrow road. Although she could have easily become bitter, angry and shook her first at God. She didn’t. She said yes my circumstances have been bitter and tough. But God remained faithful..so through it all, “Call me Pleasant.”
Wow. This is a true story. May we all choose that road too…