Acceptance

It’s back to school time! I am reminded of the first day of school. I always loved fashion so I would think about my first day of school outfit several weeks before the big day…

I would lay out my clothes way in advance! I would even put my accessories (head band, necklace, earrings, etc.) out with my outfit and shoes. I wanted to look my best! It’s the first day of school, eeek! OK. So most people can relate to this…the idea of wanting to look your best and make a good first impression. However, does our need for acceptance of others get in the way of our walk with God?

I have always been the type of person that says, “I don’t care what other thinks of me. I just want to be me.” I always liked funky things. My mom even called me, “My daughter: the bag lady” because I loved vintage clothes. However, my affinity for all things used (yard sale, thrift stores, flea markets) was just an expression of myself right? Well, yes and no. Yes, your clothes and your decisions of how to relate to people is an expression of yourself. But let me ask this question- If you were on an island all by yourself would you shave your legs (for ladies)? For men would you shave your face/beards? Would you worry about how you looked?

I am convinced people make themselves “look” a certain way in large part for acceptance by others.

My point is this. We as social beings want to be accepted by others. We know there are cultural norms we adhere too. A women does not wear a white dress to a wedding, a man does not wear flip flops on a business interview, etc. But those are just silly examples. We know acceptance goes deeper than outer appearance.

Sometimes I feel like I am not accepted by people. I am sometimes rejected by fellow Christians as hyper-spiritual and harsh or critical. I am rejected by the world as religious. I know, I know, Christ’s view of me is the only acceptance I need…but still my emotions sometimes gets in the way. Whenever my spirit and flesh wage war- I PRAY.

I talk to Jesus and I say, “Lord…no one really gets me like you. You are the only one who knows my intentions, you know my thoughts and you know how I want so much to show you my devotion and love without distraction. You know how I want to love others like you do. I mess up daily LORD but thank you for loving me for me. Help me be who you created me to be and to not care of the things of this world.”

Like in Psalm 139, “You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.” Psalm 139:1-6

So on this journey, I continue to go confident in Christ and I say to myself, “I don’t care what others think of me. All that matters is God’s view of me”

Then a trial or too comes along to test this…A few months ago I was in a Bible study and I said something…Later I thought. Why did I say that? What was I thinking? What will he/she think? I am so dumb. LORD help me know when to speak and when to be silent.

Then I had another situation where I just felt like my personality was annoying someone. I felt really down. “I am trying to reflect you Jesus. I want to shine for you, but I feel like I just don’t mesh with this person. Why don’t they like me? Help me know LORD how to act and react to this person”

This person doesn’t like me. It made me really sad! I tried to snap out of it…but I kept thinking about it and thinking about it….I was like, “Lord, help me to get over it! I am praying and help me just to love you and enjoy you.”

I started second guessing myself…why in the world is this bothering me? I have never been self-conscious, why all of a sudden all these emotions? I asked God to show me the problem like David. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24)

I had one of those “a-ha” “light bulb” moments. I said to myself “Laura, you really DO care what other people think of you!”

Oh man! I was so upset. I immediately thought of this verse:
The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Jeremiah 17:9-10a

I thought I had this area down! I thought this was an easy area for me. I thought it was easy to care more what God thinks of me. I thought I was like David…content to just play my harp and worship the LORD. I didn’t think I was like Saul always worried about what this person thinks of me or what that person thinks….

But God has really broken me. God has shown me I need to NOT trust my heart and to never be confident in anything (but His Word of course).
(Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility. Proverbs 18:12)

God has shown me so many areas where I need to die to myself and allow Him to grow me. God is pruning me big time.

Here are some examples of what God has shown me:
-I do care what my family thinks of me. I want them to believe I am a good mother.
-I do care what my husband thinks of me. I want him to think I am still attractive. I’m not just a wife but I’m his “girlfriend” and companion and friend.
-I do care what my clients think of me. I want to shine for Jesus in my work.
-I do care what my children think of me. I want them to see I love Jesus and I am woman of prayer. (pray first, worry, never)
-I do care what my church family thinks of me. I want them to see that I love them and am there for them in any way God opens a door for ministry opportunities.

This is what God has shown me. God wants me to be a woman after His own heart. In 1 Samuel 13 Saul disobeyed by offering the sacrifice and not waiting for Samuel. Saul was more concerned with what men thought than obeying the LORD. (Pastor David Guzik comments, “Saul was a man after Israel’s heart. He was all about image and prestige and the things men look at. But God will now give Israel a man after His own heart, and raise that man up to be king.”)

It’s not about “being fake” and acting one way in front of one person and another way in front of another person. God wants me to love Him, to ask for His Holy Spirit to guide my heart, to guide my thoughts, my conduct, my speech and my decision making. God wants me to cover every decision I make in prayer (God, should I go to this birthday party? Or am I spreading myself too thin on this Saturday with too many events?) God wants to be intimately involved in all areas of my life, in all relationships!!!!

So I am NOT walking around biting my nails wondering if I look OK, if I behave OK, or if I smiled at that person or not. What I am doing is realizing that how you see people and how people see you matters to God.

Walk with Jesus and allow Him to permeate you and what will happen? Others will see you as a Jesus Freak. That is my life goal-- to be a woman after God’s own heart. If the world, or even other Christians don’t like me, that’s OK. They rejected Jesus too. (Jesus said, "O Jerusalem how I want to gather you like a hen gathers her chicks...") I am more aware now that I am a social person and although I love to be friendly I must be cautious with my friendships. I must be loving to others but honest at the same time…I just need to be like Jesus. My encouragement is this, be careful not to trust in the areas that you think you are strong in spiritually…you will be tested. You will be tested in your weak areas too. Just trust in God, don’t lean on or trust in yourself, don’t even trust your own heart or emotions, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest (Prov. 3:5-6). His acceptance is really all that matters