There's No Card for That...

It grieves my heart deeply to get a text or phone call from a friend

"He was caught cheating...AGAIN"

They have cards that say:

Happy 50th birthday

Happy 1st Birthday, Look who's Turning 1

Congratulations on Your Retirement

Congratulations on Your New Home

Sorry for the Loss of Your Pet...

but there are no cards for adultery...

"Sorry For The Sudden Gut Check, Your Spouse is Cheating AGAIN"

Although I handle family law divorce cases for work, I never get accustomed to this type of news...

I can imagine it is similar to a brain cancer doctor, the reality brings sadness all over again.

Why?

It is not supposed to be this way.

God created marriage male and female, a covenant for life.

I remember a beautiful friend of mine called for prayer over her marriage.

I do not know what it was about this specific situation but I kept thinking over and over, you can't just run to the courthouse and divorce your child, you can't run to the courthouse and file a petition to divorce your mom, but people so easily and flippantly break their covenant to divorce their spouse.

For others the choice is not flippant at all; Some people pray and fast and wait years before deciding to file for divorce.

Others wait and wait for a change, a breakthrough.

There is no amount of love, nurturing, drop-dead gorgeous looks that can make a spouse remain faithful.

Every human heart is sinful and wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9)

People that choose to remain loyal and NOT break their covenant of marriage and stay sexually committed to their spouse only, often have the help of a third party.

The Holy Spirit.

Oh come on Laura. (you may be thinking) Lots of Christians get divorced and they have the Holy Spirit too.

Yes. You are correct. Sadly, you are correct.

However, a Christ centered, Biblically based marriage with moment by moment dependence on the Holy Spirit, and lots of prayer and sacrifice has a very strong chance of sustaining the marriage for the long term, for life...

We often neglect the Holy Spirit in our marriages.

We know we need God's Spirit and discernment whether to take on a new job.
We know we need God's Spirit on deciding to go on a missions trip.
We know we need God's Spirit when serving in ministry.

We neglect the Holy Spirit in the day to day workings of our marriage.

We nag instead of praying.
We feast instead of fasting.
We complain instead of offering thanksgiving.
We vent to friends instead of pouring out our hearts to our spouses.
We have fun dates with our "besties" instead of spending a little bit of money on a babysitter to go on a much needed date night with our spouse.
We invest in our kids' activities and neglect to ask our spouse "How was your day?" or "How can I pray for you?"

We are selfish and stubborn instead of submitting.
We do not surrender our way and we hold grudges.

And so on...

I read a quote that less than 1% of regularly praying couples divorce.

Gasp!

Could that be true?
I do not know how accurate that is.
However, I know a friend of mine shared
"Praying with your spouse is hard because you are completely naked"

That statement stuck with me for weeks. She is right.

When you pray with your spouse (I'm not talking about traveling mercies or for your food) and let your guts out, you truly reveal all of your deepest concerns to God, your spouse hears your heart.

What does scripture say?
The effective fervent prayer of the righteous avails much.
James 5:16-17

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered
1 Peter 3:7 

This verse always blows my mind.

"That your prayers may not be hindered"

Could it be prayers in the home are hindered because husbands and wives are not seeking the LORD together?

Could it be that revival and fresh power from the Holy Spirit would fall afresh on us all if husbands and wives prayed together frequently and fervently?

Could it be that walls would fall if couples stopped venting to their friends and instead broke down in humble, honest, transparent prayers to God together?

Dwelling together speaks of unity.

Peace with God, peace with man, peace with husband and wife....Shalom, Shalom.

God wants marriages to stay together. My heart breaks each time I hear of another couple that call it quits because of adultery, porn, or other reasons.

I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, pastor, or minister.

I am a little girl with a big God who believes God's Word is just as relevant today as it was thousands of years ago. I know God wants to bring revival in homes, and we know revival starts with prayer.

Oh Father, we are grieved for the things that grieve Your heart. You desire men to dwell with their wives with understanding so prayers are not hindered. If there is a road block in the home, if there are walls causing disconnection in communication, please intervene Holy Spirit. Like a rushing Mighty wind breathe life into marriages that are near failure. You God designed marriage to be a picture of Christ and His bride the church. Please Lord do something!
Please God help the marriages that are on life support. Please use the conviction of the Holy Spirit and help husbands and wives to turn off their TVs, phones, and even ministry or sport activities to pray and seek you together.
Lord we need your help.
Marriages are hurting.
You designed marriage and you know what is lacking. Please inspire us to walk in the image of Christ with humility and openness and fervent prayer.  Do something fresh and new in the husbands and wives who are truly hopeless today.
Remove hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh.
Only you Jesus can make all things new.
Asking in the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.