This topic is real. This topic is raw. This issue keeps me up at night.,…and it’s a heavy burden on my heart. Although everything in my brain is saying, “Don’t do it!” I must obey the spirit. Here are my thoughts.
I’ve been really blown away lately about the problem of hypocrisy in the church. First, my brother and Chuck and I had a wonderful discussion about God and His place in our lives. My brother broke it down (his rejection of God that is). He said he does believe in the Bible and in Jesus but he doesn’t attend church because there are too many fake Christians. I have been hearing this problem and excuse a lot lately and I am totally heart broken. I’m crying as I type this…
One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Keith Green, “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s makes you a hamburger.”
Last night as the Whosoevers gave their testimonies Ryan Ries shared how disgruntled and angry he became at fake Christians. Although he grew up in the church, his dad was an evangelist and pastor of a large church, he wanted nothing to do with it. Ryan Ries said he would see people raising their hands during a worship service but then later, he would see these SAME PEOPLE smoking weed and doing drugs and partying. This was a big turn off for him. He did not want church and he certainly did not want their Jesus. This is where my heart breaks.
I think a lot of people understand John 14:6. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but through me.” People check the box on Sunday. OK, I choose Jesus. Not Mohammed, not Krishna, not Buddha, I choose Jesus H. Christ. The Trinity. Father, Son and Spirit. Done. I am a Christian. Done. Now waiter, please pass the joint, pass the margarita, pass the sex, pass the gossip, pass the porn, pass the unforgiveness, pass the discontentment and please, do heap on the self because that’s the tastiest of all. Some people say, pass the selfishness and pride and tolerance and morality…because I am a good person. I am a Christian but really, I am the god in control of my life. Either way, idolatry has crept into the church and it’s one way for the enemy to encourage others to reject Jesus. Why would anyone want to serve God daily when it doesn’t make a difference in your life any way?
Oh how badly we’ve misrepresented Jesus. I’m so heart broken.
We don’t get it. We don’t realize the POWER we hold when we say we are Christians. Even though of course everyone knows “Christians aren’t perfect just forgiven” we are representatives of Christ. We need to keep it real. We need to die to our flesh…But so many of us are failing at this. So many of us Christians are looking at Jesus as our savior, but then we spit on his face as our LORD. Lord means He is the master of our lives. But we spit on that….
We want to live in sin but gain heaven and it’s so wrong!
How I can I expect to stay fit if I don’t drink water? How can I expect to stay healthy if I don’t exercise? How can I expect to maintain a healthy weight if I eat junk food all day? Oh it’s easy. Just take this pill. It’s a diet pill. Do what you want and eat what you want and you’ll stay thin. It’s a miracle.
Would anyone in their right mind believe this garbage? Would anyone buy such a pill that is obviously a lie?
Every human being on this earth knows, if you want to be healthy, you need to eat a healthy balanced diet, you need to exercise, you need to get sleep, you need to abstain from over-eating certain foods, etc. Even my 4-year old daughter gets this. However, we adults don’t get it. We think we can just say we are Christians and then it’s all good.
Well it’s not all good. We are not taking our walks seriously. People are perishing. People are turning away from the acceptance of Jesus NOT ONLY ACCEPTING HIM INTO THEIR HEARTS but into THEIR DAILY LIVES because we are not setting good examples.
Please friends, may we pray for ourselves, our walks, our homes, our churches and for others. May we be bold for our faith and ask God to be the God of our daily lives in our homes, our work and EVERYWHERE we go. May we truly remember it is an honor to call ourselves “Christians.” May we take it back. I don’t want to be ashamed to say I am a Christian because immediately people think I am self-righteous, judgmental and a hypocrite. But sadly, that’s what many people think.
I want to say I am a Christian and for people to inspect my life and say, “She’s got joy. She’s got peace. She’s got satisfaction in life and she doesn’t need to drink because there is nothing she needs to escape from. She’s doesn’t need to self medicate away her pain, because her Jesus wiped away all her sins and pain. She's not perfect, but she daily lives a surrendered life for Jesus. Not just on Sunday, but every second, of every minute of every day.” That’s what I want my testimony to be. Sound radical? Sound crazy? If Jesus died for me, I ought to LIVE every day for Him. Please Jesus bring revival to our churches and may it start with ME.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him would not die, but have everlasting life. John 3:16.
Not just life after death, but life during life… Abundant life. (John 10: 10)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Problems in marriage and the “Crazy Cycle”
She cries…He slams the door and leaves for an hour… Problems in marriage and the “Crazy Cycle”
Men think, value, speak, listen, act, react, behave one way…Women think, value, speak, listen, act, react, behave another way…
Neither are wrong, just different.
Dr. Eggerichs says the wife hears through pink ear phones. The husband hears through blue ear phones. Pink and Blue, Male and Female.
Dr. Eggerichs calls miscommunication and/or arguments in marriage the “Crazy Cycle.”
A husband and wife have an argument. The husband says, “You never do the laundry.” The wife says, “Well you are wearing clean clothes aren’t you? How can you say I never do laundry. You are trying to make me like your mother. Well I’ll never be like her. I am me and you better get used to it and and and....”
Click-click. Buckle your seat belt because this couple is about to get on the Crazy Cycle.
The husband doesn’t mean to communicate that his wife NEVER does laundry. The husband is communicating that he needs clean clothes and the dirty laundry is piling up. The wife hears her husband through her pink ear phones. Women tend to personalize the statements of men. This is why she goes down the path of believing that she heard him say, “You are not a good wife. You will never be a good wife. I am not satisfied with you. My mother did a better job at taking care of my needs than you.” The husband didn’t say any of these things…But the wife personalizes his negative tone and over-generalization. “You never do laundry” means to her “You are not a good wife.”
When Chuck and I attended pre-marital classes in 1998 at Calvary Chapel Golden Springs, one thing I remember so clearly was this-Never say use these words in an argument: never and always.
Wife says, “You always come home late” (wrong)
Husband says, “You never do laundry” (wrong).
Saying never and always is broad and untrue. These overgeneralizations are not helpful in marital communications.
Dr. Eggerichs (Dr. E) said that because we are inherently different, male and female, blue and pink, there is going to be conflict.
Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Tribulation, conflicts, trials and struggles are inevitable. But the key to successful marital communication is to recognize there are differences (remember, women are pink and men are blue). Another key is to understand when you are on the Crazy Cycle and learn how to get off quickly.
Dr. E said something that was really profound for me personally…He said that a woman’s perception of how successful and satisfying a marriage will be is often judged as early as the honeymoon.
Wow.
Here is a personal illustration…
Chuck and I are on our honeymoon in Kauai, the garden island. I want to go snorkeling, hiking, visit the best beaches, go on a helicopter ride, go to a luau, and of course shop!
I am a morning person (Chuck used to call me “A Bundle of Joy in the Morning”)… So here I go waking up at 7 am, getting my coffee, getting dressed and ready to decide what adventure is in store for us today (we only have 7 days) on our fantasized/dream HONEYMOON. I have been playing and replaying this honeymoon in my mind, not for a year, but for my whole life.
My Chuck wants to rest, kick back, watch some TV, grab a late breakfast (or maybe skip it and go straight to lunch) read a little, sit by the pool, and then MAYBE do an activity. What’s the rush? We have 7 days on the island..that’s a long time, and we just finished planning a wedding which was stressful and sleep sounds like the best idea for relaxation.
One day on our Honeymoon, we were arguing about Chuck wanting to relax, and my wanting to explore the island and do back to back activities, with food/dining being an option. (Trail mix is food right?)
I started to cry. I thought….Here we are on our honeymoon and we’re fighting and we can’t agree and he is not being understanding to my needs and I want to explore and I want to see the best beaches and I want to get the most out of this vacation. I took my emotions to the LORD. Father, I don’t want to fight with my husband. Please help me get over this struggle.
I felt like God smacked me behind the head (in a gentle and loving way) and said, “Get it together Rookie!!! Stop thinking about what YOU want to do and try to do something HE wants to do. Stop thinking about YOU and don’t let the enemy tell you anything about what this marriage is going to be like. I have put you two together. I have good thoughts for you and I have a plan for you and I am going to bless your marriage because you and Chuck love me.” (Of course this wasn’t audible, but God spoke to my heart)
I wiped my tears. I said sorry to my new husband. I asked him respectfully, “Honey, what would you like to do? Do you want to just have a relaxing picnic on a beach somewhere?” Suddenly, we were OFF the Crazy Cycle.
Duh! Look at my thoughts earlier, I want, I want, me, me, me, I, I,I whine, whine, whine…
See, I was able to get off the Crazy Cycle because God made me realize I wasn’t being respectful to what Chuck’s idea of relaxing was. My idea of relaxing is being busy or active. His idea of relaxing is chillin’….doing nothing with your wife right next to you.
The key to getting off the Crazy Cycle during my honeymoon was AND STILL IS prayer. When I take the issue to the LORD, He always reminds me to just keep on loving God first (Matt 6:33) and He will direct my paths (or decisions) Prov. 3:5-6.
Another key to getting off the Crazy Cycle is to simply recognize you and your spouse are different and that’s OK. You just need to communicate (for the wife-use respectful words and tone and for the husband use loving words and tone).
Sheesh! I mean how silly is it really to be fighting on a beautiful island in Hawaii? I’m glad God helped me get off that Crazy Cycle otherwise I’d be blogging about how I RUINED my honeymoon with my activity driven personality.
Here is something else Dr. E was right about. My flesh began to judge the success of the marriage based upon the honeymoon. Crazy isn’t it? Here is what I think is happening. Our society tells our little girls that they need a man to pamper them, treat them like a princess, give them their deepest hearts desires and to intuitively know what they need or want or dream. This is not Biblical and it is a lie from the enemy.
Dr. E said that the numbers for “walk away women” (meaning, women who are initiating the divorce) is staggering and enormous. Why is this happening? Because women are choosing the lie over the truth. (Romans 1:25 and 2Thess 2:11-12)
Again, wow.
Application- Recognize men and women are different. Men need unconditional respect just as women need unconditional love. Because of our differences, recognize there is conflict built into marriage which causes us to jump on the Crazy Cycle. Recognize when you are on the Crazy Cycle and use prayer as a tool to get off. Women, use respectful words and husbands use loving words.
Third time- wow.
More to come…
Men think, value, speak, listen, act, react, behave one way…Women think, value, speak, listen, act, react, behave another way…
Neither are wrong, just different.
Dr. Eggerichs says the wife hears through pink ear phones. The husband hears through blue ear phones. Pink and Blue, Male and Female.
Dr. Eggerichs calls miscommunication and/or arguments in marriage the “Crazy Cycle.”
A husband and wife have an argument. The husband says, “You never do the laundry.” The wife says, “Well you are wearing clean clothes aren’t you? How can you say I never do laundry. You are trying to make me like your mother. Well I’ll never be like her. I am me and you better get used to it and and and....”
Click-click. Buckle your seat belt because this couple is about to get on the Crazy Cycle.
The husband doesn’t mean to communicate that his wife NEVER does laundry. The husband is communicating that he needs clean clothes and the dirty laundry is piling up. The wife hears her husband through her pink ear phones. Women tend to personalize the statements of men. This is why she goes down the path of believing that she heard him say, “You are not a good wife. You will never be a good wife. I am not satisfied with you. My mother did a better job at taking care of my needs than you.” The husband didn’t say any of these things…But the wife personalizes his negative tone and over-generalization. “You never do laundry” means to her “You are not a good wife.”
When Chuck and I attended pre-marital classes in 1998 at Calvary Chapel Golden Springs, one thing I remember so clearly was this-Never say use these words in an argument: never and always.
Wife says, “You always come home late” (wrong)
Husband says, “You never do laundry” (wrong).
Saying never and always is broad and untrue. These overgeneralizations are not helpful in marital communications.
Dr. Eggerichs (Dr. E) said that because we are inherently different, male and female, blue and pink, there is going to be conflict.
Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Tribulation, conflicts, trials and struggles are inevitable. But the key to successful marital communication is to recognize there are differences (remember, women are pink and men are blue). Another key is to understand when you are on the Crazy Cycle and learn how to get off quickly.
Dr. E said something that was really profound for me personally…He said that a woman’s perception of how successful and satisfying a marriage will be is often judged as early as the honeymoon.
Wow.
Here is a personal illustration…
Chuck and I are on our honeymoon in Kauai, the garden island. I want to go snorkeling, hiking, visit the best beaches, go on a helicopter ride, go to a luau, and of course shop!
I am a morning person (Chuck used to call me “A Bundle of Joy in the Morning”)… So here I go waking up at 7 am, getting my coffee, getting dressed and ready to decide what adventure is in store for us today (we only have 7 days) on our fantasized/dream HONEYMOON. I have been playing and replaying this honeymoon in my mind, not for a year, but for my whole life.
My Chuck wants to rest, kick back, watch some TV, grab a late breakfast (or maybe skip it and go straight to lunch) read a little, sit by the pool, and then MAYBE do an activity. What’s the rush? We have 7 days on the island..that’s a long time, and we just finished planning a wedding which was stressful and sleep sounds like the best idea for relaxation.
One day on our Honeymoon, we were arguing about Chuck wanting to relax, and my wanting to explore the island and do back to back activities, with food/dining being an option. (Trail mix is food right?)
I started to cry. I thought….Here we are on our honeymoon and we’re fighting and we can’t agree and he is not being understanding to my needs and I want to explore and I want to see the best beaches and I want to get the most out of this vacation. I took my emotions to the LORD. Father, I don’t want to fight with my husband. Please help me get over this struggle.
I felt like God smacked me behind the head (in a gentle and loving way) and said, “Get it together Rookie!!! Stop thinking about what YOU want to do and try to do something HE wants to do. Stop thinking about YOU and don’t let the enemy tell you anything about what this marriage is going to be like. I have put you two together. I have good thoughts for you and I have a plan for you and I am going to bless your marriage because you and Chuck love me.” (Of course this wasn’t audible, but God spoke to my heart)
I wiped my tears. I said sorry to my new husband. I asked him respectfully, “Honey, what would you like to do? Do you want to just have a relaxing picnic on a beach somewhere?” Suddenly, we were OFF the Crazy Cycle.
Duh! Look at my thoughts earlier, I want, I want, me, me, me, I, I,I whine, whine, whine…
See, I was able to get off the Crazy Cycle because God made me realize I wasn’t being respectful to what Chuck’s idea of relaxing was. My idea of relaxing is being busy or active. His idea of relaxing is chillin’….doing nothing with your wife right next to you.
The key to getting off the Crazy Cycle during my honeymoon was AND STILL IS prayer. When I take the issue to the LORD, He always reminds me to just keep on loving God first (Matt 6:33) and He will direct my paths (or decisions) Prov. 3:5-6.
Another key to getting off the Crazy Cycle is to simply recognize you and your spouse are different and that’s OK. You just need to communicate (for the wife-use respectful words and tone and for the husband use loving words and tone).
Sheesh! I mean how silly is it really to be fighting on a beautiful island in Hawaii? I’m glad God helped me get off that Crazy Cycle otherwise I’d be blogging about how I RUINED my honeymoon with my activity driven personality.
Here is something else Dr. E was right about. My flesh began to judge the success of the marriage based upon the honeymoon. Crazy isn’t it? Here is what I think is happening. Our society tells our little girls that they need a man to pamper them, treat them like a princess, give them their deepest hearts desires and to intuitively know what they need or want or dream. This is not Biblical and it is a lie from the enemy.
Dr. E said that the numbers for “walk away women” (meaning, women who are initiating the divorce) is staggering and enormous. Why is this happening? Because women are choosing the lie over the truth. (Romans 1:25 and 2Thess 2:11-12)
Again, wow.
Application- Recognize men and women are different. Men need unconditional respect just as women need unconditional love. Because of our differences, recognize there is conflict built into marriage which causes us to jump on the Crazy Cycle. Recognize when you are on the Crazy Cycle and use prayer as a tool to get off. Women, use respectful words and husbands use loving words.
Third time- wow.
More to come…
Monday, April 26, 2010
Not Wrong...Just Different (Men and Women in marriage that is...)
Not Wrong, Just Different...
I just got back from the Love & Respect conference at Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah Eggerichs shared many thought provoking ideas on marriage. The main idea was this- If you want a successful Christ centered marriage, follow Eph 5:33, Husbands love and wives respect. Sound simple? WRONG.
Just different...
Here's my personal take on this- (this is just a little sample of my marriage)
Chuck/Laura
Chuck-A man of few (but profound and insightful words) Laura-A Talker and Talker and Talker
Chuck-Likes relaxing quiet activities such as weight lifting and gardening Laura-Loves Disneyland and Places Where Lots of People Gather
Chuck-Likes Nice Things Laura-Likes Thrift Stores & Yard Sales
Chuck-Likes a few quiet minutes to unwind after work Laura-Likes to Talk Your Ear off RT NOW and any time or any place
Chuck-Likes Dining Out Laura-Likes Eating at Home
Chuck-Likes to Read the Word (Bible) with little distractions Laura-Likes Reading the Word
even if distractions are around (phone rings, toddlers around, etc)
Chuck-Likes to Spend Extra Money on Home Improvements Laura- Likes to Spend Extra Money on Vacations
Chuck-Likes To Keep the Car Clean Laura-Likes the Car to Serve as a 2nd
Home with every conceivable item like snacks, extra clothes, extra make up, available.
Chuck-Doesn't Drink Coffee Laura-Loves Coffee, hot, cold, blended, on ice, with sugar without sugar, YOU NAME IT (3-4 cups a day...)
Chuck-Likes Long Hair on His Wife(Me) Laura-Prefers Short Hair on Self (Smile)
Chuck- Likes Minimal Make-Up Laura-Likes to wear Red Lipstick
Chuck-Believes in Public or Private School Laura- Likes the Idea of Home School
What we Agree Upon:
Both Love the LORD AGREED
Worry about nothing, pray about everything AGREED
Husbands should be respected and wives loved AGREED
Seek First the Kingdom of God and all things will fall into place AGREED
Love Camping AGREED
Love to be Outdoors/Nature AGREED
Dr. Eggerichs said that opposites attract and then they ATTACK. Everyone laughs...But it's true. You (unintentionally) try to change the other person to get on board with YOUR VIEWS of things. This is not good and certainly not Biblical.
We as women, need to honor our spouses and respect them and respect that there are differences in male and female outlooks on life (God made us different remember?).
For example, it is wrong of me to vomit out all of the info from my day on my spouse when he walks in the door after a long and stressful day at work! We are working on this as he tells me, "OK Babe, tell me the short version of what happened today." I know that he is tired when he walks in the door and doesn't want to be bombarded with information overload. (I on the other hand want to talk).
I need to be understanding to him. I need to be respectful. As Dr. Eggerichs said, "My response is my responsibility." If Chuck is upset about something in my communication, it's not his attitude that needs to change, IT'S MINE. My response is my responsibility. I am not to try and change him or to analyze and figure out and disect why my hubby is upset. I am to take it to God in prayer, ask God to change ME and WAIT for Chuck to come and talk it out with me if he feels its necessary. Again, I need to be respectful in my communication with my husband.
Bottom line- Women and Men communicate differently. I am not wrong in being super talkative, just different from my more quiet husband. I need to remember that my response is my responsibility. Instead of annoying my spouse with long versions of things that happened during the day, I will give him the "cliff notes" version of the day. By understanding the very idea that story telling (for the speaker and listener) is inherently different for men and women, I will avoid conflict. (By the way, Chuck does listen to my long stories...He's so sweet about it and I always warn him when it's going to be a long story. I have learned over the years, and Dr. Eggerichs reinforced this point, that the moment he walks in the door is not the best time to give him a long story or illustration.)
Male and Female. Husband and Wife. Many conflicts...Who is right and who is wrong?
Neither are WRONG, just different.
Stay tuned. A lot more to share...
I just got back from the Love & Respect conference at Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah Eggerichs shared many thought provoking ideas on marriage. The main idea was this- If you want a successful Christ centered marriage, follow Eph 5:33, Husbands love and wives respect. Sound simple? WRONG.
It was a 2 day conference and I took notes like a mad woman (I felt like I was in Law School all over again...) and left totally blessed.
It's going to take a few days to separate my thoughts and blogs. I don't want to overwhelm anyone with information overload...so between 2 to 10 blogs or so should do it (LOL).
First thing I learned and loved:
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs said this repeatedly throughout the 2 day Love and Respect conference. He reminded us that men and women are different. Or as the Bible says, God created them Male and Female. Different in nature...Different in genetics...Different in preferences, Different ideas about how best to communicate, Different values, Different in EVERYTHING...
In fights, in arguments, in preferences, in opinions, male and female are not right or wrong.Just different...
Here's my personal take on this- (this is just a little sample of my marriage)
Chuck/Laura
Chuck-A man of few (but profound and insightful words) Laura-A Talker and Talker and Talker
Chuck-Likes relaxing quiet activities such as weight lifting and gardening Laura-Loves Disneyland and Places Where Lots of People Gather
Chuck-Likes Nice Things Laura-Likes Thrift Stores & Yard Sales
Chuck-Likes a few quiet minutes to unwind after work Laura-Likes to Talk Your Ear off RT NOW and any time or any place
Chuck-Likes Dining Out Laura-Likes Eating at Home
Chuck-Likes to Read the Word (Bible) with little distractions Laura-Likes Reading the Word
even if distractions are around (phone rings, toddlers around, etc)
Chuck-Likes to Spend Extra Money on Home Improvements Laura- Likes to Spend Extra Money on Vacations
Chuck-Likes To Keep the Car Clean Laura-Likes the Car to Serve as a 2nd
Home with every conceivable item like snacks, extra clothes, extra make up, available.
Chuck-Doesn't Drink Coffee Laura-Loves Coffee, hot, cold, blended, on ice, with sugar without sugar, YOU NAME IT (3-4 cups a day...)
Chuck-Likes Long Hair on His Wife(Me) Laura-Prefers Short Hair on Self (Smile)
Chuck- Likes Minimal Make-Up Laura-Likes to wear Red Lipstick
Chuck-Believes in Public or Private School Laura- Likes the Idea of Home School
What we Agree Upon:
Both Love the LORD AGREED
Worry about nothing, pray about everything AGREED
Husbands should be respected and wives loved AGREED
Seek First the Kingdom of God and all things will fall into place AGREED
Love Camping AGREED
Love to be Outdoors/Nature AGREED
Dr. Eggerichs said that opposites attract and then they ATTACK. Everyone laughs...But it's true. You (unintentionally) try to change the other person to get on board with YOUR VIEWS of things. This is not good and certainly not Biblical.
We as women, need to honor our spouses and respect them and respect that there are differences in male and female outlooks on life (God made us different remember?).
For example, it is wrong of me to vomit out all of the info from my day on my spouse when he walks in the door after a long and stressful day at work! We are working on this as he tells me, "OK Babe, tell me the short version of what happened today." I know that he is tired when he walks in the door and doesn't want to be bombarded with information overload. (I on the other hand want to talk).
I need to be understanding to him. I need to be respectful. As Dr. Eggerichs said, "My response is my responsibility." If Chuck is upset about something in my communication, it's not his attitude that needs to change, IT'S MINE. My response is my responsibility. I am not to try and change him or to analyze and figure out and disect why my hubby is upset. I am to take it to God in prayer, ask God to change ME and WAIT for Chuck to come and talk it out with me if he feels its necessary. Again, I need to be respectful in my communication with my husband.
Bottom line- Women and Men communicate differently. I am not wrong in being super talkative, just different from my more quiet husband. I need to remember that my response is my responsibility. Instead of annoying my spouse with long versions of things that happened during the day, I will give him the "cliff notes" version of the day. By understanding the very idea that story telling (for the speaker and listener) is inherently different for men and women, I will avoid conflict. (By the way, Chuck does listen to my long stories...He's so sweet about it and I always warn him when it's going to be a long story. I have learned over the years, and Dr. Eggerichs reinforced this point, that the moment he walks in the door is not the best time to give him a long story or illustration.)
Male and Female. Husband and Wife. Many conflicts...Who is right and who is wrong?
Neither are WRONG, just different.
Stay tuned. A lot more to share...
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Will you accept this rose? Absolutely!
Will you accept this rose? Absolutely!
Ha! If you don’t know where that question and answer comes from, you are not a fan of The Bachelor.
Well, I can’t fully tell you why Chuck and I like this show…I’ve thought about it, and this is why I think I enjoy the show…
First, I am intrigued at what attracts people to each other…
Obviously, the show focuses a lot on physical outward attraction. However, if you are a fan of the show, you will notice that the bachelor or bachelorette doesn’t often pick the best outwardly attractive person. As the show progresses, the bachelor or bachelorette picks someone he/she sees as the #1 pick to be a husband or wife…
Marriage has been on my mind a lot lately as I am excited about the Love and Respect conference starting this weekend at our church, Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. Chuck and I are attending…at first, he was reluctant. He asks me, “Why do you think we should we attend? We have a great marriage and it’s $70 bucks and what about a babysitter?”
I wanted to attend because I want to CONTINUE to have a great marriage for many, many, many, years to come. You see our society values investing in real estate, investing in college accounts for our children, investing in retirement, investing in savings plans, stocks, CD’s, IRA’s, etc. But what about investing in marriage? What’s $70 bucks if it’s going to help us communicate and understand each other better and continue to build upon a Christ centered marriage?
I didn’t want to nag…so I just prayed.
My sweet hubby said, “Honey I was praying about it too and we are going.” Yesssssssss!!!
The Holy Spirit touched his heart to attend. I always like when that happens (Smile here)
I know God is going to bless this weekend’s Love and Respect conference because a simple but profound message from God’s Word will be preached: Husbands- You need to love and cherish your wives. Wives- You need to respect and honor your husbands.
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband. Eph. 5:33
See, if the husband is not showing love to his wife, she finds it difficult to submit to him and respect him. If a husband is not feeling respected, he will not show her love the way she wants to be loved…
Dr. Eggerichs calls it the “Crazy Cycle.” http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/crazy_cycle.php
Chuck and I sometimes say we would like to write a book on marriage someday…We are by no means experts at all...We just feel like we have something special in our marriage and want to share it.
You see, when my husband walks through the door, I still see how handsome he is. I see that he’s older (he was only a teenager the first time I met him) I see how God has worked in his life…I see my boyfriend, turned fiancé, turned husband, turned father to my children. I see him as a person worth dying for because Christ died for him…
I truly take my job, my role, my destiny as a helpmate to Chuck seriously. I tell him of this often. Because I am such a “Martha” and am busy all the time, he gets frustrated with me for trying to do so much…
So because I am a wife, a busy mom, part time lawyer, etc. etc. we need "a time out" to reconnect, evaluate our priorities and just talk.
When we get on each other’s nerves, we pray about it, talk about the LORD and God’s Word, we have a date night, talk, and enjoy being silly together. There’s so much more that goes into a blessed marriage...Prayer is definitely a key component.
Please keep marriages and the Love and Respect conference (and this ministry) in prayer.
For many, I believe a conference like this one will work like preventative medicine.
Wikipedia defines preventative medicine as: measures taken to prevent diseases, (or injuries) rather than curing them or treating symptoms.
I know a lot of couples who will be attending this conference feel like they have a blessed marriage. That’s where the preventative medicine comes in…It’s a safeguard against the enemy’s attacks on marriage.
Others might be attending because they are holding on to the last thread of hope to keep their marriage together (this is medicine that will be a direct treatment to the harm or disease that might be in their marriage). Please pray these couples will truly have a breakthrough and will unite on fire for Jesus and for hope that their marriage can work. However YOU view your marriage, pray for your spouse and ask God to give you a new set of eyes to see your spouse through. If you are unmarried, pray for your future spouse. Marriage is God’s thing…He invented it. It only makes sense to use His Word to make it work. That’s why I’m excited about the conference…I’m less excited about the next season of the Bachelorette (LOL)
Ha! If you don’t know where that question and answer comes from, you are not a fan of The Bachelor.
Well, I can’t fully tell you why Chuck and I like this show…I’ve thought about it, and this is why I think I enjoy the show…
First, I am intrigued at what attracts people to each other…
Obviously, the show focuses a lot on physical outward attraction. However, if you are a fan of the show, you will notice that the bachelor or bachelorette doesn’t often pick the best outwardly attractive person. As the show progresses, the bachelor or bachelorette picks someone he/she sees as the #1 pick to be a husband or wife…
Marriage has been on my mind a lot lately as I am excited about the Love and Respect conference starting this weekend at our church, Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. Chuck and I are attending…at first, he was reluctant. He asks me, “Why do you think we should we attend? We have a great marriage and it’s $70 bucks and what about a babysitter?”
I wanted to attend because I want to CONTINUE to have a great marriage for many, many, many, years to come. You see our society values investing in real estate, investing in college accounts for our children, investing in retirement, investing in savings plans, stocks, CD’s, IRA’s, etc. But what about investing in marriage? What’s $70 bucks if it’s going to help us communicate and understand each other better and continue to build upon a Christ centered marriage?
I didn’t want to nag…so I just prayed.
My sweet hubby said, “Honey I was praying about it too and we are going.” Yesssssssss!!!
The Holy Spirit touched his heart to attend. I always like when that happens (Smile here)
I know God is going to bless this weekend’s Love and Respect conference because a simple but profound message from God’s Word will be preached: Husbands- You need to love and cherish your wives. Wives- You need to respect and honor your husbands.
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife [see] that she respects [her] husband. Eph. 5:33
See, if the husband is not showing love to his wife, she finds it difficult to submit to him and respect him. If a husband is not feeling respected, he will not show her love the way she wants to be loved…
Dr. Eggerichs calls it the “Crazy Cycle.” http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/crazy_cycle.php
Chuck and I sometimes say we would like to write a book on marriage someday…We are by no means experts at all...We just feel like we have something special in our marriage and want to share it.
You see, when my husband walks through the door, I still see how handsome he is. I see that he’s older (he was only a teenager the first time I met him) I see how God has worked in his life…I see my boyfriend, turned fiancé, turned husband, turned father to my children. I see him as a person worth dying for because Christ died for him…
I truly take my job, my role, my destiny as a helpmate to Chuck seriously. I tell him of this often. Because I am such a “Martha” and am busy all the time, he gets frustrated with me for trying to do so much…
So because I am a wife, a busy mom, part time lawyer, etc. etc. we need "a time out" to reconnect, evaluate our priorities and just talk.
When we get on each other’s nerves, we pray about it, talk about the LORD and God’s Word, we have a date night, talk, and enjoy being silly together. There’s so much more that goes into a blessed marriage...Prayer is definitely a key component.
Please keep marriages and the Love and Respect conference (and this ministry) in prayer.
For many, I believe a conference like this one will work like preventative medicine.
Wikipedia defines preventative medicine as: measures taken to prevent diseases, (or injuries) rather than curing them or treating symptoms.
I know a lot of couples who will be attending this conference feel like they have a blessed marriage. That’s where the preventative medicine comes in…It’s a safeguard against the enemy’s attacks on marriage.
Others might be attending because they are holding on to the last thread of hope to keep their marriage together (this is medicine that will be a direct treatment to the harm or disease that might be in their marriage). Please pray these couples will truly have a breakthrough and will unite on fire for Jesus and for hope that their marriage can work. However YOU view your marriage, pray for your spouse and ask God to give you a new set of eyes to see your spouse through. If you are unmarried, pray for your future spouse. Marriage is God’s thing…He invented it. It only makes sense to use His Word to make it work. That’s why I’m excited about the conference…I’m less excited about the next season of the Bachelorette (LOL)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I'm praying for Jennifer Knapp
Some of you might say who is Jennifer Knapp? Some of you might know exactly what I'm talking about and the specific reason I'm praying for her today.
I'm sad...and this is a hard issue, but I decided to blog about it to get my thoughts out.
I'm praying for Jennifer Knapp. She was one of my favorite Christian musicians. I love the song "A Little More"
One part of the songs says,
"For all the sin that lives in me
It took a nail to set me free still,
What I do I don't want to do and so goes the story
What You had in mind
What we seek we'll find, shine, show me grace"
I listen to her music often because I loved how her music quickened my heart to worship Jesus. I love songs that bring me in to God's presence.
I do enjoy listening to some secular music...but I prefer worship music.
So the other day I was listening to one of Jennifer Knapp's older CD's and I thought...What happened to her? Did she get married and have babies and go on a hiatus from the music scene? Is she busy traveling? What happened to her? I found her website which said she was releasing a new CD in May 2010 called, "Letting Go." For some reason, I felt uneasy about the content of her website...Her news release states, "After seven years of soul searching and time spent in Australia, Knapp comes full circle in 2010 with a new album, new tour and a renewed love of music." I noticed nothing in the news release about Jesus? The words worship and praise were absent…
Hmmmmm.....
Just a few days later I got an email announcing, "Jennifer Knapp has announced that she is a lesbian."
My heart sank. Now I understood why she entitled the new album, "Letting Go."
I've been thinking so much about this and praying for her daily.
This scripture keeps coming back to me again and again, "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting" Romans 1:26-28.
Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be the Holy Spirit but she still claims to be a Christian. She states she is not going to be an advocate of Homosexual rights…She is just happy to be who she is.
This is where my heart hurts...Yes of course we are all sinners and unworthy to hold the title of Christian (little Christ or follower of Jesus Christ). But, here is the difference. I KNOW I have a problem with my flesh and my sinful tendencies. I have to daily take myself off of the throne and pray and ask Jesus to be the King of my life. Laura constantly wants to be in control (that's the flesh) but the Spirit (Christ in me, the hope of glory) fights against her and with the Word of God (Bible study, meditation on Scriptures, reading through the Bible regularly) and prayer, the Spirit wins...
The key is that it is a daily walk with Jesus.
I've been debating whether I will still listen to her music. Will I support her new CD? This is what I feel the Spirit confirmed in my heart.
I can listen to secular music if it's not hurting my walk with Jesus (all things are lawful but not all thing edify. 1Corinth 10:23)For example, I love Morrissey. I mean his voice is amazing! Some of his lyrics are deep and profound. However, it's not worship music. It's not Christian music...it doesn't bring me into the presence of Jesus. Listening to Morrissey for me, is just plain entertainment. I do pray for him too to be saved...but he and Knapp are distinctly different.
Morrissey is not claiming to be a Christian. He is not claiming to be saved..he's a secular musician. He's an entertainer.
Jennifer Knapp however, is proclaiming to have her identity with Christ. For that reason, I cannot continue to support her music.
Notice this with me…Jennifer Knapp left to live in Australia for seven years...
I believe this seclusion or isolation was part of her decision to deny God's Word and what it says about homosexuality. Where was her family? Where were her friends? Where was the (here comes the "A" word) ACCOUNTABILITY. We must be careful to NEVER isolate ourselves away from the body of Christ. We must stay accountable to our spouses, friends and family... We must be in the Word.
We need each other and we need to pray for each other. Therefore, I am praying for Jennifer Knapp and will continue to lift her up that she may come back to Jesus and sing for HIM once again.
(If you want to read the article about her it's here http://www.christiantoday.com/article/jennifer.knapp.confirms.sexuality.ahead.of.album.release/25700.htm)
I'm sad...and this is a hard issue, but I decided to blog about it to get my thoughts out.
I'm praying for Jennifer Knapp. She was one of my favorite Christian musicians. I love the song "A Little More"
One part of the songs says,
"For all the sin that lives in me
It took a nail to set me free still,
What I do I don't want to do and so goes the story
What You had in mind
What we seek we'll find, shine, show me grace"
I listen to her music often because I loved how her music quickened my heart to worship Jesus. I love songs that bring me in to God's presence.
I do enjoy listening to some secular music...but I prefer worship music.
So the other day I was listening to one of Jennifer Knapp's older CD's and I thought...What happened to her? Did she get married and have babies and go on a hiatus from the music scene? Is she busy traveling? What happened to her? I found her website which said she was releasing a new CD in May 2010 called, "Letting Go." For some reason, I felt uneasy about the content of her website...Her news release states, "After seven years of soul searching and time spent in Australia, Knapp comes full circle in 2010 with a new album, new tour and a renewed love of music." I noticed nothing in the news release about Jesus? The words worship and praise were absent…
Hmmmmm.....
Just a few days later I got an email announcing, "Jennifer Knapp has announced that she is a lesbian."
My heart sank. Now I understood why she entitled the new album, "Letting Go."
I've been thinking so much about this and praying for her daily.
This scripture keeps coming back to me again and again, "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. And even as they did not like to retain God in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting" Romans 1:26-28.
Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be the Holy Spirit but she still claims to be a Christian. She states she is not going to be an advocate of Homosexual rights…She is just happy to be who she is.
This is where my heart hurts...Yes of course we are all sinners and unworthy to hold the title of Christian (little Christ or follower of Jesus Christ). But, here is the difference. I KNOW I have a problem with my flesh and my sinful tendencies. I have to daily take myself off of the throne and pray and ask Jesus to be the King of my life. Laura constantly wants to be in control (that's the flesh) but the Spirit (Christ in me, the hope of glory) fights against her and with the Word of God (Bible study, meditation on Scriptures, reading through the Bible regularly) and prayer, the Spirit wins...
The key is that it is a daily walk with Jesus.
I've been debating whether I will still listen to her music. Will I support her new CD? This is what I feel the Spirit confirmed in my heart.
I can listen to secular music if it's not hurting my walk with Jesus (all things are lawful but not all thing edify. 1Corinth 10:23)For example, I love Morrissey. I mean his voice is amazing! Some of his lyrics are deep and profound. However, it's not worship music. It's not Christian music...it doesn't bring me into the presence of Jesus. Listening to Morrissey for me, is just plain entertainment. I do pray for him too to be saved...but he and Knapp are distinctly different.
Morrissey is not claiming to be a Christian. He is not claiming to be saved..he's a secular musician. He's an entertainer.
Jennifer Knapp however, is proclaiming to have her identity with Christ. For that reason, I cannot continue to support her music.
Notice this with me…Jennifer Knapp left to live in Australia for seven years...
I believe this seclusion or isolation was part of her decision to deny God's Word and what it says about homosexuality. Where was her family? Where were her friends? Where was the (here comes the "A" word) ACCOUNTABILITY. We must be careful to NEVER isolate ourselves away from the body of Christ. We must stay accountable to our spouses, friends and family... We must be in the Word.
We need each other and we need to pray for each other. Therefore, I am praying for Jennifer Knapp and will continue to lift her up that she may come back to Jesus and sing for HIM once again.
(If you want to read the article about her it's here http://www.christiantoday.com/article/jennifer.knapp.confirms.sexuality.ahead.of.album.release/25700.htm)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
True, God Loves Me, But Does He Like Me?
I know God loves me...but does He like me?
Since God is my heavenly Father, I know He loves me(John 3:16). The Bible tells me so...
I am His daughter...right?
But most parents love their kids (no matter how defiant or bratty), but does God the Father like me?
Does He find me annoying?
Doesn't He get sick of my continued prayers for the same things, over and over again?
Doesn't He think I'm a whiner and complainer?
Well, yes I can be annoying and I do struggle with the same things (areas) that I ask God to help me with...yes, I can whine and complain to Him about this or that. But God loves me anyway...and His thoughts toward me are good and not evil (Jeremiah 29:11)
Isn't it awesome to know not only does God love me, God likes me too!
Zepheniah 3:17 says, "The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet [you] with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
God has a special song He sings over us. I can understand this because I made up little songs for each of my children...it's a special song that is personalized and only belongs to them.
How awesome that God, the creator of heaven and earth would sing over us? He sings over you. He sings over me.
So yes, God likes me and He likes you....He wants to be next to you...He wants to be there next to you when you are drinking your cup of coffee or shopping or zoning out watching TV. God's love transcends that familial love that says, "You must love me...I'm your kid" No. God doesn't just love us, He likes us. He doesn't just like us, He sings over us. Wow.
I have Zeph. 3:17 over my kitchen sink so I can be reminded that God likes me...
I thank Jesus He's not only my LORD and my God, He's my best friend too.
Since God is my heavenly Father, I know He loves me(John 3:16). The Bible tells me so...
I am His daughter...right?
But most parents love their kids (no matter how defiant or bratty), but does God the Father like me?
Does He find me annoying?
Doesn't He get sick of my continued prayers for the same things, over and over again?
Doesn't He think I'm a whiner and complainer?
Well, yes I can be annoying and I do struggle with the same things (areas) that I ask God to help me with...yes, I can whine and complain to Him about this or that. But God loves me anyway...and His thoughts toward me are good and not evil (Jeremiah 29:11)
Isn't it awesome to know not only does God love me, God likes me too!
Zepheniah 3:17 says, "The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet [you] with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
God has a special song He sings over us. I can understand this because I made up little songs for each of my children...it's a special song that is personalized and only belongs to them.
How awesome that God, the creator of heaven and earth would sing over us? He sings over you. He sings over me.
So yes, God likes me and He likes you....He wants to be next to you...He wants to be there next to you when you are drinking your cup of coffee or shopping or zoning out watching TV. God's love transcends that familial love that says, "You must love me...I'm your kid" No. God doesn't just love us, He likes us. He doesn't just like us, He sings over us. Wow.
I have Zeph. 3:17 over my kitchen sink so I can be reminded that God likes me...
I thank Jesus He's not only my LORD and my God, He's my best friend too.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Martha Syndrome
Many of us know the scene…There’s Mary sitting lovingly and attentively at Jesus feet…listening to His words. Spending time with Jesus and enjoying Him. Then there’s Martha…She’s hustling about getting dinner ready and she’s annoyed. She wants Mary to stop being so lazy and help her! Jesus rebukes Martha because Mary chose the better part. (Luke 10:38-42)
A few years ago a friend of mine gave me the book, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver. I started reading it and got too busy to finish it! (I’m such a Martha)
One note from the beginning of the book says this, “Part of me is Mary. I want to worship extravagantly. I want to sit at His feet. But part of me is Martha- and there’s just so much to do!” (Page 7 author cited above)
Well the other day Chuck and I were discussing those areas where God is working on our character and I confessed to him that I am a Martha. You are a Martha he agreed. Ouch! (being married is a great way to be accountable in the Christian walk…but I’ll save that for another blog)
I try to do too much. But that is not what I felt God speaking to my heart. I already knew that about myself and I ask God to help me with that. What was so cool was after this great conversation Chuck prayed for me. He prayed for us to abide in God’s will and asked Jesus to help me not be a Martha or a Mary. Chuck prayed, “Help her just be Laura, who you created her to be.”
Wait! My heart panicked! That’s the wrong prayer! Chuck was supposed to pray and ask God to make me a Mary! Mary is the one who chose the “better part.” After the prayer, I thought about it long and hard. I let it soak in.
My husband, my sweetheart was right. God doesn’t want me to be exactly like Martha (a busy-body) and God doesn’t want me to be exactly like Mary (a sweet woman who I do admire). He wants me to be Laura. God wants me to recognize and discern when to be actively doing those things He has called me to do and ALSO recognize when I need to be still and just enjoy Him (whether that be praying, reading, worshipping or all of these). Psalm 46:10 I need to learn when to be still. See, it’s hard for me to be still…but that’s why I love the title of the book, “Having a Mary heart in a Martha world.”
I need to have Mary’s heart…but I don’t need to BE Mary. God made me Laura and as long as I am in tune with Him, I’m feelin’ pretty blessed…
A few years ago a friend of mine gave me the book, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver. I started reading it and got too busy to finish it! (I’m such a Martha)
One note from the beginning of the book says this, “Part of me is Mary. I want to worship extravagantly. I want to sit at His feet. But part of me is Martha- and there’s just so much to do!” (Page 7 author cited above)
Well the other day Chuck and I were discussing those areas where God is working on our character and I confessed to him that I am a Martha. You are a Martha he agreed. Ouch! (being married is a great way to be accountable in the Christian walk…but I’ll save that for another blog)
I try to do too much. But that is not what I felt God speaking to my heart. I already knew that about myself and I ask God to help me with that. What was so cool was after this great conversation Chuck prayed for me. He prayed for us to abide in God’s will and asked Jesus to help me not be a Martha or a Mary. Chuck prayed, “Help her just be Laura, who you created her to be.”
Wait! My heart panicked! That’s the wrong prayer! Chuck was supposed to pray and ask God to make me a Mary! Mary is the one who chose the “better part.” After the prayer, I thought about it long and hard. I let it soak in.
My husband, my sweetheart was right. God doesn’t want me to be exactly like Martha (a busy-body) and God doesn’t want me to be exactly like Mary (a sweet woman who I do admire). He wants me to be Laura. God wants me to recognize and discern when to be actively doing those things He has called me to do and ALSO recognize when I need to be still and just enjoy Him (whether that be praying, reading, worshipping or all of these). Psalm 46:10 I need to learn when to be still. See, it’s hard for me to be still…but that’s why I love the title of the book, “Having a Mary heart in a Martha world.”
I need to have Mary’s heart…but I don’t need to BE Mary. God made me Laura and as long as I am in tune with Him, I’m feelin’ pretty blessed…
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