He whispers “I am Teaching You My Child”

Luke 24:6

Remember how he spoke to you...

God speaks

Am I listening?

Can I remember?

Can I stir up my soul to recall what He said?

On Friday He said 

“I’m teaching you about the winepress. I’m teaching you something... drink in my love”

On Monday He said “your Goliath is autism and it WILL fall. Freedom comes as you release faith” and He says, “your work for the week is Power”

I will choose to listen Lord.

Even if it’s silence, I will listen.

I will listen as you recall old praise songs, hymns, and images of times of rejoicing!

New birth is messy. I will choose to grab my knees and feel each birth pang, knowing something new is about to be born.

Savior- I love your tender ways.

Speak Lord for your servant Laura is listening! 

Speak LORD, Your Servant listens

Oh Abba,
Today has been a rough day,
I was in the back yard crying my eyes out.
You spoke:

I am teaching you something.
Drink in my love.
I am teaching you about the winepress.
I am teaching you about the pressing.

Be intoxicated with my love.
Drink in my love.

God, I do not know exactly what this means, but I will keep seeking, keep asking, keeping drinking in your love.

In the pain, behind the veil, I am learning...

There's No Card for That...

It grieves my heart deeply to get a text or phone call from a friend

"He was caught cheating...AGAIN"

They have cards that say:

Happy 50th birthday

Happy 1st Birthday, Look who's Turning 1

Congratulations on Your Retirement

Congratulations on Your New Home

Sorry for the Loss of Your Pet...

but there are no cards for adultery...

"Sorry For The Sudden Gut Check, Your Spouse is Cheating AGAIN"

Although I handle family law divorce cases for work, I never get accustomed to this type of news...

I can imagine it is similar to a brain cancer doctor, the reality brings sadness all over again.

Why?

It is not supposed to be this way.

God created marriage male and female, a covenant for life.

I remember a beautiful friend of mine called for prayer over her marriage.

I do not know what it was about this specific situation but I kept thinking over and over, you can't just run to the courthouse and divorce your child, you can't run to the courthouse and file a petition to divorce your mom, but people so easily and flippantly break their covenant to divorce their spouse.

For others the choice is not flippant at all; Some people pray and fast and wait years before deciding to file for divorce.

Others wait and wait for a change, a breakthrough.

There is no amount of love, nurturing, drop-dead gorgeous looks that can make a spouse remain faithful.

Every human heart is sinful and wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9)

People that choose to remain loyal and NOT break their covenant of marriage and stay sexually committed to their spouse only, often have the help of a third party.

The Holy Spirit.

Oh come on Laura. (you may be thinking) Lots of Christians get divorced and they have the Holy Spirit too.

Yes. You are correct. Sadly, you are correct.

However, a Christ centered, Biblically based marriage with moment by moment dependence on the Holy Spirit, and lots of prayer and sacrifice has a very strong chance of sustaining the marriage for the long term, for life...

We often neglect the Holy Spirit in our marriages.

We know we need God's Spirit and discernment whether to take on a new job.
We know we need God's Spirit on deciding to go on a missions trip.
We know we need God's Spirit when serving in ministry.

We neglect the Holy Spirit in the day to day workings of our marriage.

We nag instead of praying.
We feast instead of fasting.
We complain instead of offering thanksgiving.
We vent to friends instead of pouring out our hearts to our spouses.
We have fun dates with our "besties" instead of spending a little bit of money on a babysitter to go on a much needed date night with our spouse.
We invest in our kids' activities and neglect to ask our spouse "How was your day?" or "How can I pray for you?"

We are selfish and stubborn instead of submitting.
We do not surrender our way and we hold grudges.

And so on...

I read a quote that less than 1% of regularly praying couples divorce.

Gasp!

Could that be true?
I do not know how accurate that is.
However, I know a friend of mine shared
"Praying with your spouse is hard because you are completely naked"

That statement stuck with me for weeks. She is right.

When you pray with your spouse (I'm not talking about traveling mercies or for your food) and let your guts out, you truly reveal all of your deepest concerns to God, your spouse hears your heart.

What does scripture say?
The effective fervent prayer of the righteous avails much.
James 5:16-17

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered
1 Peter 3:7 

This verse always blows my mind.

"That your prayers may not be hindered"

Could it be prayers in the home are hindered because husbands and wives are not seeking the LORD together?

Could it be that revival and fresh power from the Holy Spirit would fall afresh on us all if husbands and wives prayed together frequently and fervently?

Could it be that walls would fall if couples stopped venting to their friends and instead broke down in humble, honest, transparent prayers to God together?

Dwelling together speaks of unity.

Peace with God, peace with man, peace with husband and wife....Shalom, Shalom.

God wants marriages to stay together. My heart breaks each time I hear of another couple that call it quits because of adultery, porn, or other reasons.

I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, pastor, or minister.

I am a little girl with a big God who believes God's Word is just as relevant today as it was thousands of years ago. I know God wants to bring revival in homes, and we know revival starts with prayer.

Oh Father, we are grieved for the things that grieve Your heart. You desire men to dwell with their wives with understanding so prayers are not hindered. If there is a road block in the home, if there are walls causing disconnection in communication, please intervene Holy Spirit. Like a rushing Mighty wind breathe life into marriages that are near failure. You God designed marriage to be a picture of Christ and His bride the church. Please Lord do something!
Please God help the marriages that are on life support. Please use the conviction of the Holy Spirit and help husbands and wives to turn off their TVs, phones, and even ministry or sport activities to pray and seek you together.
Lord we need your help.
Marriages are hurting.
You designed marriage and you know what is lacking. Please inspire us to walk in the image of Christ with humility and openness and fervent prayer.  Do something fresh and new in the husbands and wives who are truly hopeless today.
Remove hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh.
Only you Jesus can make all things new.
Asking in the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.

Joy in the Journey

I heard this amazing statement:
"Trying to control outcomes kills joy"

True.

I had a conversation with my husband about this and he said:

"You must have joy in the journey."

This speaks volumes to my soul.

As an autism mom, I have had many moments when I feel exasperated in the journey.
When is this season going to end?

I have asked myself how can I get through the day?

I know the long term outcome will be good, I know Isaac will go to heaven. I know Jesus is good and He will work all things together for good. (Romans 8:28)
I pray.

"I am tired dear God and I am struggling to find joy in this season.
I cannot find joy today.
I am sad and blue. Help me Jesus remember for the joy set before You, You chose to go to the cross"

We sing:

"Restore unto me, the joy of my salvation"
Psalm 51

How can one lose the joy of her salvation?

Many of us are familiar with Psalm 51.

David's joy tank ran low because he was in sin.
He sinned against God by having Uriah killed, lying about it, cheating with Bathsheba, etc.

God sent Nathan to give an illustration to David and prompt David's to desire to repent and get right...
David needed to get right with Yahweh.

This is not always the case.

We are not always low on joy because we are in sin.

Maybe just maybe...
We are struggling with depression and we cannot pinpoint what is causing this loss of joy.

You might feel like a leaky balloon, draining helium and getting flat...losing joy but not completely.

Or, maybe just maybe, you are low on your joy tank because you have been looking at Facebook or Instagram and you do not know why you are melancholy.
You go to sleep with thoughts like
"I wish my husband would bring me flowers 'just because' as my friend received today"
"I wish my child got A's in school, instead of hanging with the wrong crowd"
"I wish I could afford a Hawaii vacation like Mrs. Smith went on."

Jealousy kills joy.

This is tough to swallow, but it's true.
You look at Instagram and Facebook with good intentions but slowly and surely you feel bothered, then sad, then grumpy and then your joy is popped like a bubble.

Jesus =JOY

Jesus, Others, You (J.O.Y)

Sometimes (more often than not) you need

JESUS, Pray for Others as the Spirit leads and skimp on you...

What?

If my joy tank is on low, shouldn't I focus on self help?

Maybe yes, maybe no.

I find the greatest way to restore my joy is praise and thanksgiving.

With an open Bible and wide open heart, read God's Word and let His love song sing over you.

Remind your soul who is the Boss- Yahweh, the Great I AM.

As you read God's Word, confess your funk- confess your funky attitude.

"God I love you. You laid down your life Jesus. So why do I feel so down?
Why am I dry? Why am I drab? Why during this season of spring do I feel like a gray overcast day?
Lord show me! Introduce me to me. Search my heart Oh God and see if there is any wicked way in me. See what is wrong. Show me! Show me my unrighteousness and clear the path so your joy can fill me up again. Maybe Abba the problem has been a complaining spirit. I have been grumbling and complaining and not obeying! Why have I not stopped to say thank you? Lord help me have a heart that is grateful, open and obey you the first time as your Holy Spirit shows me!"

Then put on a worship song. Choose an old familiar song. Choose a song that you used to sing when you first got saved. Let the LORD use your tongue and song to raise a hallelujah in the midst of your leaky joy.
Watch what He will do!
He will lift you up.

There is no formula or routine with the LORD. God may use this (or some other quiet time) to lift you up. Another day He may use a quiet time at the park. Another time He may use a quiet time at night. He may use a prayer warrior to pray over you.

We cannot put God in a box.

We must surrender all and confess our joy-less-ness.
Remember, joy is not happiness.

We can have joy in the midst of pain, suffering or gray grumpy days.

We can pray like Habukkuk:


O Lord, I have heard Your speech and was afraid;O Lord, revive Your work in the midst of the years!In the midst of the years make it known;In wrath remember mercy. (Habukkuk 3:2)

Though the fig tree may not blossom,Nor fruit be on the vines;Though the labor of the olive may fail,And the fields yield no food;Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,And there be no herd in the stalls—Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,I will joy in the God of my salvation.The Lord God is my strength;He will make my feet like deer’s feet,And He will make me walk on my high hills. (Habukkuk 3:17-19)

Let's ask our Father to give us joy in the journey...

A Picture of Prayer

Judge’s chapter 13 

Picture of prayer 

When you read through Deuteronomy and Joshua, you become invigorated at the sight, sound and demonstration of the power of God.

He parts the Red Sea, He changes a murdering to a national leader, He displays His power in miraculous wonders, He helps a fearful Joshua defeat various people groups and gain access to the Promised Land ... it’s truly better than any movie of Netflix series.

Then you get to Judges.

I love this book too.

However, I get frustrated at the roller coaster emotional ride...

One generation serves the Lord.

A judge.

The next generation rejects the Lord.

Another judge.

The people backslide....get in a pickle...

They cry out to God.

God provides another judge... 

Our Father is so merciful.

Do this same routine 10+ more times ...

Pause at Judges 13.

An Angel of the Lord appears to Manoah’s wife and promises she will conceive a special son.

She is barren. 

We see supernatural fruit come from barrenness numerous times in Scripture. 

This is yet another amazing work of God.

He makes the barren womb leap with joy.

Manoah’s wife tells her husband what happened.

Manoah then cries out to Yahweh in prayer.

Judges  13:8

“O my Lord, please let the Man of God whom You sent come to us again and teach us what we shall do for the child who will be born”

 “God, Please show up again we need more instructions, we need details Lord” (my paraphrase)

Manoah is a man of God, so in His wonder and excitement He prays.

Isn’t it beautiful?

He believes His wife and asks God boldly for a second visit. 

Parents: We are wise to pray this Manoah prayer “teach us what we shall do”

As parents, we all wish we had a training manual when our babies were born.

Child 1 will be compliant, taking activities or goodies away will work for discipline.

Child 2 is free spirited. He will need repeated redirection and no amount of time out corners will change him. This child will need a lot of activities and sports. Beware of the junior high years for this one.

Ha!

We have no such manual.

We do have a Rabbi- His Name is Jesus.

God designs each child with a purpose and plan. God’s plan, not the parents plan.

Manoah humbly and yet boldly asks for wisdom. Manoah prays asking God to “teach us.” 

The problem with our walks with God is we forget that God is the giver of gifts and He has given us the instruction manual to life 

His Holy Word. 

We can come boldly to His throne of grace.

He invites us, if any of you lacks wisdom ASK and God will give it.

Judges 13:9

“God listened to the voice of Manoah”

Catch that?

The Word doesn’t say He heard the request (although we know this is true)

God listened to his son Manoah’s voice.

Silent prayers are amazing.

But friends, God wants to hear our voice.

When we pray out loud something happens, our Spirit is stirred and we recall that we are having a conversation with the God of the universe.

Let God hear your voice.

Manoah wanted to know God. He then asks for His Name.

Judges 13:17 

Then Manoah said to the Angel of the Lord, “What is your Name that when Your words come to pass we may honor You?” 

He said, “why do you ask my Name seeing  it is wonderful”

“It is Wonderful”

Just like Isaiah 9:6

What did Jesus say when they picked up stones to kill Him?

He said 

“Verily verily I say unto you, before Abraham was I AM”

Knowing Gods Name is important.

We need to be intimately familiar with His Name in our prayers, even in our whisper prayers. 

Manoah has faith that God would do what He said He would.

Manoah professed “when your words come to pass”

Not if.. but when...

God’s Word WILL come to pass.

It is certain.

So why do we doubt? 

Perhaps we are not intimately familiar with our Kind King who never fails. Perhaps we need to pray boldly for wisdom like Manoah. 

Perhaps we need to remember Gods Name it is Wonderful !

Perhaps we are flesh, and we need more emptying.

May the Lord teach us from every page in His Word that He is Wonderful, He is Faithful, and His Word SHALL come to pass just as He said. 

Judges 13- a picture of prayer.

Plastic

Lord help me be plastic.
Help me be numb to situations so I do not feel.
I can smile and act "fine" and not melt from the pain.

Lord help me be plastic.
Help me bounce back from circumstances and situations and shake the ache from the chaos inside.
Help me float like a plastic bag with not a care in the world.

Lord help me be plastic.
Help me care less, feel less, weep less and just operate in a static vacuum.

Lord help me be like plastic where I do not carry loads and burdens I can be molded and shaped easily to the day and not break or bend.

I hear Him.
I hear the Creator whisper, "No"
I made you the way you are.

Lord help me be organic.
Help me step on the grass with pedicure-neglected toes and feel the earth beneath.

Lord help me be organic where I can sob and cry but then breathe in grace and exhale faith.
Help me see with eyes of faith, supernaturally natural eyes, eyes that burn when looking at the sun but smile when hearing the belly laugh of a baby.

Lord help me be organic where I hear you whisper verses to my soul, I hear you whisper songs in the night, I feel your touch in the wind.
Help me let go of my plastic desires and long for your organic embrace.

My brother for life (Sort of)

This morning I asked God to show me a new insight or revelation from Luke 15:11-32, the prodigal son story.

When you read your Bible, I encourage you to daily ask God to give you fresh insights.
We can become old wine skins and read a scripture or two with jaded eyes (Oh, I know this story not much new material to digest here).

We are wrong to approach God's Word in this nonchalant fashion.

God WANTS to speak to us, but are we really listening? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I love the imagery of the Father, the lost prodigal son and the son who remained at his father's home.

A familiar story yes, but new insights are always there, if only we allow the Holy Spirit to break new ground.

Luke 15:14 said the son began to be "in want."
He had money but that dried up. He had friends, but they left. He ate the best meals, but now he's left with heart burn. There is a famine in the land. Here in America, we are so blessed we do not understand this. However, we do understand famine of faith. People are bent over with anxiety, depression and panic attacks. The suicide rates are off the charts. Kids are bullied and kill themselves. I have no words.
In fact today April 20, marks another annivesary of the Columbine high school shooting.
Famine.
Does it exist?
Of course.
There are famines of food, crops, medicine and famine of faith, famine of purpose and meaning in life.
Famine for the living bread- Jesus Messiah, the manna which comes from heaven...

Finally the prodigal son comes to his place of "want." He hits rock bottom and misses home.
This is a great reminder to moms and dads about planting seeds of faith in the soil of our kids' hearts. They may make fooloish decisions in life...but the Word does not come back void. We pray kids become home sick, longing for the bread, the Jesus they crave.

Luke 15:29
The brother who remained was angry and said
"I have been serving you"
"I never transgressed you and yet you never gave me..."
"you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends"

And there it is...

Selfish pride.

I never noticed this before and I praise Yahweh for revealing it.

"I have"
"I never"
"you never gave me"
"My friends"

Me, myself and I.

The false trinity.

This brother had a problem with his father's decision to bless the "naughty" son and ignore the son who was on the "nice" list for so many years, maybe even decades.

Oh my son my son.

I can hear the father's soft tenderness in His voice.

This son always had the father.
Just like us, we may not "get" our prayers answered in the way we hoped, but we got God. We spent time alone with Him. He grew us, deepened us, stripped us of self dependence and made us utterly co-dependent on our Abba.
That's enough.

The other son wanted the blessings- the stuff.
Having a deep intimate relationship with his dad wasn't enough, he wanted to "one-up" his naughty brother and show that he was really the one deserving of honor.

He is so upset he calls the prodigal son
"Your son"
Wait just a minute.
Isn't this his brother?
His bro?
The one that played with him, joked with him, comforted him?
They had years together, history together, shared good times and bad together...
But now, he throws him under the bus.
How sad.

Selfish pride can break up families...
Selfish pride can break up marriages...
Selfish pride can break up friendships...
Selfish pride can break the heart of God...

Along with selfish pride the other brother had an ungrateful heart.
The angels are rejoicing in heaven because the brother who once was lost, now is found, he once was dead but now is alive...
All this brother can do is sulk because "I never had a party like THAT before!"

I know this story is very hard to digest.
Why?
We grow up loving O's and A's.
We love honor rolls and bonus checks.
We love to post on instagram about how our marriage is thriving, but no one is sharing how this is the 3rd marriage and it is barely hanging on a thread.

We check the box, we go to church, "Hello God. Nice to see you, here's my tithe, see you later."

Then we pout when the new, only saved 3 years man is promoted at church. Hey! That's not fair God. That brother hasn't put in the time here as I have!

I have heard that before and I know God does not smile on that heart-itude.

Lord, we love you so. We praise you when an individual turns from darkness to light. Whether a person is a prodigal someone who once knew you and now recommits, or who is a new believer, we rejoice in that saving power. However, sometimes God we can see ourselves in the prodigal brother's selfish, prideful and even arrogant stance. We want things from you God, instead of simply wanting You. We think we deserve things. We deserve death and eternal punishment. Thank you for your saving power over even the type A check the box people who can stop once in awhile and realize selfish pride has crept in and a soul cleansing is needed. Lord you are faithful even when we doubt you, get angry at you and pout like toddlers. Thank you Jesus that you see our hearts and you desire to purge us and change us and mold us into the image of Christ- the selfless one. The one who bled and died. Thank you Father for the fresh insights you reveal as we daily and often steep our selves in your Holy Word. Make us new. In Jesus Name Amen