Wisdom with Words

The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. Proverbs 15:2

LORD Jesus, give me wisdom. I have been putting my foot in my mouth a lot lately. Please give me wisdom when to speak and when to be silent. When to share and when to listen. Help me know Jesus that you are my best friend and I don't need to share all the details of what you teach me with people....You want to hear from me. You love talking with me. I don't understand it God, why you love me so much, such a sinner, but I thank you and bless you for your unfailing unconditional love for me. Help me Jesus. Give me wisdom over my words and help me to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading and bind my propensity to talk too much. In Jesus name AMEN.



This has been my frequent prayer.

My precious husband and I had a great discussion a few weeks ago. He lovingly told me, "Laura, you need to be a better listener. You sometimes interrupt and you need to be careful about that."

I took this to heart. I prayed and I asked God to help me be a better listener. I asked God to give me wisdom.

My heart was so heavy over this. I didn't want to seem rude or like I was trying to be a Holy Spirit.

I felt confused.

When do I speak?

When do I just listen?

How do I know if I am talking too much and it's wrong, and how do I know when I am obeying the Spirit and offering encouragement?

I continued to pray through this struggle.

I emailed my husband, and shared with him that I knew he was right and I needed to "Preach the Gospel every day, if necessary use words." St. Francis Assissi

The very next day a pastor in our church said the SAME THING.



Two days later I went to Disneyland and a man with a long beard had a cool Christian shirt on. I couldn't read the text so I looked closer...it said, "Preach the Gospel every day, if necessary use words"



Wow LORD.

You are really speaking to me. You are speaking to my heart. I need to not just "talk" about the things of the LORD, I need to behave in a way that is loving and brings glory to God, even if it's without words.



I love it when God reveals Himself through His Word like this!!

I continued to struggle with this issue of feeling extremely low on discernment or "wisdom." I prayed and I even thought about buying books on wisdom and discernment. I know Proverbs is the book on wisdom, but I thought I might gain insight from a commentary on Proverbs or some other book on wisdom.



In my morning devotional reading from my one-year-Bible I came across Ecclesiastes. I started reading it and it took me a couple of days (duh!) when I realized I was reading one of the greatest books on wisdom from the greatest men who was endowed with wisdom, King Solomon and from the best book of all- God's Word.



I was blown away and I even chuckled with the LORD. I love His sense of humor. Here I am trying to find some additional reading material to help in wisdom and the Holy Spirit orchestrated the exact day, month and time when He knew I would need to read Ecclesiastes and learn about the foolishness of man and the wisdom that, we all know, begins and ends with the LORD.

[there is] a time to keep silence, And a time to speak; Ecclesiastes 3:7b

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Prov. 9:10

I will always be a talker.....but now I will try more to be sensitive to the Spirit and to others and to discern when to speak and when to be silent.

I learned:

1) God was pruning me. God did want me to change. God wanted me to listen to my husband's loving correction (thank you Jesus for my husband) that I need to be a better listener and I need to let the Holy Spirit lead me, not just talk/share all the time, it could be the wrong timing. Communication tone and surroundings are both important. Exp: If your spouse just had a long day at work, that is not the best time to share things....Let him/her have time to breathe and settle in and wait to share until the timing is right. (John 15:5)

2) God created me with a desire and hunger to share and encourage other believers. You (and I) can't stop God's work. God created you with a purpose and we all have very specific gifts. We must use them, but remember, we bless God when we honor Him with our gifts and talents as HE LEADS. (There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all.1 Cor. 12:4-6)

3.) I got spiritually attacked! The enemy was attacking me because he doesn't want us to encourage each other. He rather shut us up...that's what I started to do...be more quiet. But that was wrong. Forgive me Jesus. "The Spirit of the LORD spoke by me, And His word was on my tongue." 2 Sam 23:2


4.) Practice this- If God is placing someone on your heart and you want to share something. PRAY FIRST. READ God's Word and ask Him to reveal the scripture to share, the way to share, the time and place and ask the Holy Spirit to direct a divine appointment. (See Colossians 1:9; also If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5)

5.) Remember the tongue is evil! We can use the same tongue to bless or encourage another believer or tear someone down. So be very cautious and PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. 1 Thess 5:17 (see James 3-But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8)

I hope and pray this encourages anyone who like me, has put her foot in her mouth when trying to share something of the LORD. This is important stuff and the enemy wants to muzzle us from sharing God's Truth. Pray and seek the LORD, then open your mouth, preach the Gospel, if necessary use Words.

The Lord GOD has given Me The tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak A word in season to him who is weary. Isaiah 50:4

What are you eating?

Another food picture…

Think about what you eat…

I am serious. If you go out to dinner, take the extra step to ask the waiter or waitress for the calorie content of the foods. Have you ever noticed there are NO calories listed on the menu at Cheesecake factory? That’s because the cheesecakes are loaded with calories and it is likely each cheesecake slice is over 1,000 calories or more per slice. On the one hand, some people “don’t want to know” how many calories they are consuming…they are happy being in the dark. They are out on a date, or with girlfriends and want to eat the dessert and they don’t care about the TRUTH of the calories. Others might know about the cheesecake being high in calories and decide NOT to eat cheesecake for dessert…try strawberries with whipped cream…much lower calorie content.

The LORD has been speaking to my heart with a foghorn- THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE EATING.

I was watching the previews for one of Olivia’s Disney movies the other day…This is a dialogue from the movie.“Ratatouille”

This is a dialogue between two rats:
Remy: What is that?
Remy's Brother Emile: [Looks at the odd thing he is eating]
Remy's Brother: I don't really know.
Remy: You don't know, and your eating it.
Emile: You know, if you can sort of muscle your way past the gag reflex, all kinds of food possibilities open up.
Remy: [to the screen] This is what I'm talking about.

Oh man! Is this our Christian culture or what? We are so desensitized to sin, that we have gotten over the “gag reflex” the disdain, the abhorrence of sin…the mindset and heart- that says, “I am going to refrain from this because it is so detestable and it hurts our LORD’s heart. Sin separates me from God and that is what makes my stomach hurt. God is holy and I must live a holy life. I need to shine for Jesus not tarnish His name and hinder His fame.”

The fact that deliberate, continued, unrepentant sin separates us from God is what should make us gag. We consume things, do things, continue in rotten behaviors, continue to have bad attitudes, hold on to grudges, compromise in “secret” areas and all the while we don’t even realize we are eating rotten, decaying, mold infested food…all because we have gotten over “the gag reflex.” (Matthew 7:21-23)

Now the “food” might not be drugs, alcohol, or watching R Rated movies, listening to filthy music, or watching junky late night TV. The “food” might be failing to submit to your husband, failing to surrender to God certain areas of your heart, not giving God your gifts and talents, not letting go of your past, not heeding the Spirit in this area or that area, or trusting in man versus trusting in the living God.

While we all may be eating some kind of so called "food” it’s really moldy, decaying and it could kill us. Pastor David said that when he was growing up if a young adult did something wrong, his/her parents would say, “you should be ashamed of yourself.” There is no more “shame” in our culture. This is due in large part because there are no morals in our culture…Jehovah- God, the Son our Savior Jesus and the Holy Spirit are all rejected. Nonetheless, God is still God and He is still waiting patiently for you to dine on His Word. Let’s dig in! God’s Word is not moldy or crusty or “expired.” It’s living and breathing and it makes us whole (Hebrews 4:12, John 10:10b).

I realize many who read my blogs are committed Christians, so I know this idea of letting go of rotten food and clinging to the nourishment of God's Word is probably "preaching to the choir" nonetheless, I wanted to share my heart...We all have sin that needs to be cast down...We all need to check the food content of what we are eating...so this is FOR ME first... May God bless us as we determine and RESOLVE to live uncompromised set apart lives for HIS GLORY and fame

Terrible 2’s Continue Through Adulthood

God is speaking and I am listening…However, the more important thing for me to do is OBEY.

God gave me a picture of our stubbornness through my son Isaac. He is 2 ½.
Isaac loves to eat junk food. He points at McDonalds when we drive by one. He has tantrums at the store if we pass by the ice cream receptacles (you know like the ones at check out at Walmart).

Isaac climbs the counter tops in a relentless effort to check the freezer for otter pops or other ice cream. Even when there are none (which is often) he still clamors and opens the freezer believing there just might be one otter pop left in the freezer, behind the frozen chicken.
He does this even though there is danger to him…he could really get hurt for climbing the chair and reaching to get ice cream….but he has a one-track mind- ice cream!!!

We are the SAME way with the LORD. When we don’t get our way, we pout and scream and cry and act foolish. When God says, “No” to us even when it is for our own good, we get angry, upset and sometimes even cry. I have learned (and been taught from God’s Word and many awesome Bible teachers like Chuck Smith) that when God says, “No” it’s because He has something BETTER for us. (Romans 8:28).

God’s Word says, “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:19. Pastor Raul Ries used to say, “God will supply all your need not all of your greed.” This is so true and profound. We want “things” instead of the King of Kings. What is the need? I thought the verse said God will supply all your needs…but it doesn’t. The verse says my God shall supply all your NEED singular. The one need we have is Jesus, the bread of life (John 6:35).

So…as I illustrated earlier, I often lose my patience with my 2 year old as he desires and relentlessly seeks junk food. He continues this daily saga of persistently, repeatedly trying to get ice cream from the freezer…all to his peril.

Yet, aren’t we the same way?

We get upset when are schedule is disrupted, when there is traffic, when our plans go awry, when we get sick on a vacation, when our husbands don’t come home on time…We want our way and we want it NOW! (like a toddler)

While the world offers us junk food (via entertainment, ungodly friendships, and any idol that takes our time away from the LORD), God offers us the living Word, the living Water of His Word, the bread of life…We are so selfish sometimes and we scream, shout and stomp our feet JUST like a 2 year old, but what does God, our loving Father do? He patiently and loving says, “No, no, no…I have something better for you…I have something better than an “Otter Pop” treat. I have chicken pot pie, potatoes, corn, salad, fresh baked biscuits, and best of all, you will get dessert, Hagen daas Ice Cream!! If you are hungry, I'll give you more than a empty calorie snack, I'll give you ME”

Let’s stop stomping our feet and throwing our head back at the LORD when we don’t get what we want. Let’s stop snacking on junk food and entertainment that takes our thoughts away from the LORD and His Word. Let’s get in His Word and feast on Him!!!

Tell the LORD every detail

God has been speaking to my heart so much lately about the importance of prayer. I seriously feel like I am on overdrive with scriptures that are on my heart about prayer. (Phil 4:6-7, 1 Thess 5:17, Matt 7:7-8, James 5:16, Luke 21:36, Matt 26:41, Luke 11:1)

I desire to pray more.

Is it because of the Ladies Bible Study on Daniel? Is it because the men’s ministry Bible studies are starting up again and our husbands need prayer? Is it because of all the divorce and ugly family law court drama I have been dealing with in my part time legal work? Is it because of my desire to pray without ceasing? Is it because of the people that I know are battling cancer? Is it because of Pastor David’s decision to stop the format of intercessory prayer amongst the saints before Sunday am service due to some people feeling uncomfortable and even leaving the church?

I don’t know.

It’s probably a combination…or it might just be the HOLY SPIRIT reminding me prayer is as vital as oxygen to the believer.

OK, so anyone that has known me for 1 minute or longer knows I LOVE TO TALK. I love conversations. I love sharing. I love sharing things God has revealed to me through His WORD. I love hearing your stories, praise reports and prayer requests.
Here is the problem…I have been so sad lately. I have been beating myself up. I have been praying and asking God to make me a better LISTENER. I can’t just talk and talk and talk. I need to be still and know that He is God. (Psalm 46:10) I need to be quiet and allow others to speak. I need to enjoy listening just as much as I love talking.
When Chuck walks through the door after dealing with over 30 wild 8th graders I need to learn NOT to talk his ear off. Not that my husband doesn’t enjoy hearing about my day…he’s just tired and needs time to unwind. I have to give him the “short version.” I know you ladies who are like me, a “Talk-a-holic” are laughing because you know EXACTLY what I am writing about….
It seems lately I have been talking and talking and it appears I have annoyed my husband with my lengthy talks. I was so burdened by this!! I prayed. “Father, I don’t want to get my own way in this area. Give me discernment. Help me to know that my husband is male and I am female. We are different. I need to be a better listener and not share all the details to the point of Chuck’s frustration and annoyance. Help me Jesus be a better listener. Help me Father not bog people down with all the details of my life. I don’t always need to share all the details.”
I have really been struggling with this! (I know this sounds silly but it is my blog after all) I know it’s not a serious struggle like whether or not to go into ministry, whether or not to buy a new house, whether or not to pull a child out of public school and homeschool, whether or not to get married, have a child, change jobs, change churches, etc. but this issue has really been weighing me down.
I prayed again and again, “Why do I like to talk so much LORD? Help me to die to this desire to talk to the point where it is overbearing, selfish and annoying to others.”
This morning like our sweet Jesus often does He refreshed me with a verse JUST FOR ME!

“The steps of the godly are directed by the LORD. He delights in every detail of their lives”
Psalm 37:23

I am so happy I literally can go outside and do some cartwheels. I got my answer. Who can I express and tell all “the details” of my life? Who even has the time to listen? Trust me, my stories can be very long… Jesus cares about EVERY DETAIL. Jesus loves to hear my long stories in the form of PRAYER.

Woo-hoo!

I have been going about it all wrong. I have had so much to share lately but what I needed to do is take every detail to the LORD and then pray about who I should share with.
What a relief! I think this revelation that God cares about “all the details” ties into my heart’s burden for prayer. HE WANTS TO KNOW EVERY DETAIL OF MY LIFE. So I resolve to tell Him everything in prayer!

If I have ever annoyed you with long stories…I apologize…I will save those long stories with all the details for my Abba Father and if you want to go have some coffee some time….I can share my long detailed stories with you and I promise I will listen to your stories and pray with you

Hate and Divorce

Hate is a bad word in our society. I teach my children that it's "bad" and we try not to say it...
But there are some things it's actually OK or permitted by God to hate.
Divorce is one of them...

This topic has been on my heart for weeks and I did not want to blog about it...but after Pastor David's awesome message this morning (Col 3: 18-19, Husbands love your wives and do not be bitter towards them) I feel compelled to share my heart and recent experience counseling with divorced (or soon to be divorced) people.

First, what does it mean to "hate?"
Webster's Dictionary defines hate: a. intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury b : extreme dislike or antipathy.

Well is it true that God "hates" divorce? Yes, it sure is.
Malachi 2:6 says, "For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

Matthew 19:3-9
The Pharisees also came to Him (Jesus), testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"
And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'
"and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
"So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

So the Old Testament and the New Testament speak about divorce. Jesus clarified that Moses did not "command" divorce but did permit/allow it only if the reason was for adultery.

Here's what God has been speaking to me about lately. I do practice family law part time. I have handled divorces, child support issues, child visitation issues, child and spousal support, etc.
I have had such a heavey heart and been grieved because divorce and/or marriage problems have happening so much around me!

God has used me to counsel with people and although I am no expert, here is what I have been learning: NO ONE BENEFITS FROM DIVORCE.

The ex-wife ends up spiritually and emotionally hurt and bitter and feeling empty.
The ex-husband ends up spiritually and emotionally hurt and bitter. He feels confused as to why "he has to pay" so much spousal and child support and feels empty and as if he is a failure.
The children end up scarred for life, confused, sad, and left lonely and unsecure. They too feel empty.

I have realized lately that the world, flesh and Satan truly do (in unison) want marriages to end in divorce. Many people walk away from God after divorce. They feel that God didn't heal the marriage, or that God put the wrong person in his/her path and it's His fault the marriage didn't succeed.

I go back to the definition of "hate." I believe in the case of divorce, the reason God hates divorce is #1 it was and is not His plan or intention for people to get divorced and #2 people end up hurt, beaten and bruised from the divorce....The children really are hurt by the divorce.

Jesus said, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10

An abundant life is a Jesus life. A life focused on Jesus, centered on Jesus, increasing in the love of Jesus, following the example of Jesus, relying on Jesus. Also, self-denial is necessary for abundant/fulfilling life.

God hates divorce because He sees how it destroys people. This is the antithesis of His goal and intention and purpose to give us abundant life. Does this make sense?

I was thinking about this the other day...I was counseling with someone who's marriage is hanging by a thread. I encouraged her to pray for her spouse and even ask him if she can pray out loud for him. "Have you ever done this?" I asked. "Not really. Maybe a few times." She responded. This is what God showed me. We can't "hate" or harbor bitterness toward someone we are praying for. Remember, the definition of hate relates to "an injury." A wife may begin to "hate" her spouse because he has in her eyes, injured her. So what should she do? Well the world would say, "Just get a divorce. End it. Then you will be happy." But God says lay your life down so that you may gain it back again...God's Word would advise, "Give your marriage to Jesus and surrender yourself to Him completely."

Now of course there are some marriages that end in divorce and the reason may be Biblical...but the point is...it's not God's command. It's only allowed in certain instances.

My heart has been aching and breaking for these people that come to me needing help with a divorce or child support issues, etc.

I am humbled by the way some people choose to take their concerns to prayer, to the throne of Jesus. These people that turn to Jesus during their divorce, or after are indeed made whole (of course there may still be pain from the effects of the divorce). As the scripture says, "He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3.

But God does indeed hate divorce and I must say, I do too. The paperwork and court hearings are a hassle. It's emotionally, physically, spiritually draining. The divorce process hurts God, the husband, the wife, the children, the extended family, co-workers, and any one else that knows the person going through it are affected.

Also, God says the church is His "bride." So an man and woman united in marriage is a picture of Christ and His bride. Christ laid His life down for the church, His bride. Divorce distorts that picture. Isn't that so sad?

If you are married. Pray, pray, pray for your spouse!! (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Pray with your spouse and pray over your spouse. Husbands love (communicate, show emotions) and wives respect (show honor, use kind words, tell him you are thankful he works to provide for the family, give physical/sexual love). Forgive each other and don't bring it up again! Read God's Word together. Read Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 over and over again. Die to your flesh DAILY. Buy and read, "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs.

Do whatever you can to invest into your marriage! It's God's design and marriage is intended to be a life-long picture of Christ and the church. Love your spouse as unto the LORD and don't ever allow the enemy to bring the word divorce into your vocabulary.

(PS: You can email me privately if you have a prayer request!)

Finishing Strong

I was reading about King Asa in the Old Testament, 2 Chronicles 14:1-16:14

I was so excited to learn about this great king. He was inspiring me. He heard a word of the LORD through the prophet Azariah. King Asa didn’t just listen…he HEARD and heeded the word and “took courage and removed all the idols in the land of Judah and Benjamin” 2 Chronicles 14:8

King Asa also repaired the altar of the LORD and gathered the people together to offer sacrifices to the LORD. Through King Asa’s obedience, he and the people entered into a covenant with the LORD to seek the LORD with all their heart and soul (2Chron14:12). King Asa agreed to put to death anyone who refused to seek the LORD. God gave him victory over the Ethiopians and Libyans. He even “deposed his grandmother…from her position as queen mother because she had made an obscene Asherah pole. He cut down the pole and broke it up…” 2 Chron. 14:16.

Wow! This King was awesome.

He stood up for righteous in an amazing way! He helped lead the people BACK INTO a covenant relationship with the LORD and even stood up for righteousness against his very own grandmother! What a guy!

Then I read on…He wants to enter into a treaty with the king of Syria. As I read, it doesn’t sound like a bad plan…but as it turns out, King Asa was siding with Syria, a pagan nation and losing His confidence in the LORD. Asa now had confidence in the flesh.

“Oh no!” I thought. “Not another one LORD. Not another person in scripture who turned from
their strong witness to backslide and reject you and your Word.”

As I read on I learned about a seer named Hanani that boldly told King Asa his fate, “Because you have put your trust in the king of Aram instead of in the LORD your God, you missed your chance to destroy the army of the king of Aram. Don’t you remember what happened to the Ethiopians and Libyans and their vast army, with all of their chariots and horsemen? At that time you relied on the LORD and he handed them all over to you. The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. What a fool you have been! From now on, you will be at war.” 2 Chron 16:7-9

My heart ached. See I have asked this SAME QUESTION Hanani asked, “What happened?”

I think it’s the hardest thing to see someone walk away from the LORD. These people are miserable. They know the truth, but they reject the truth. They have seen and experienced God work in their lives but they forget. They know God’s Word but don’t trust in it (or Him) anymore. They have taken their eyes off of God and put it on man.

What do we do? We are puzzled and confused and ask what happened? I believe with all of my heart that part of backsliding has to do with forgetfulness.

In Veggie Tales, Madame Blueberry there is a song that says, “A happy heart is a thankful heart.” Well I would add, “A mindful heart is a trusting heart.”

When we are “mindful” we constantly bring to remembrance those things God has done for us. If we remind ourselves of who God is and what He has done (and will do in the future) there is no room for confidence in the flesh.

You see, the believer remembers, “I once was lost but now I’m found” The backslider acts this way- I was lost, then found, now lost again.

Oh how my heart aches over so many who have fallen away or even those who are just not walking strong in the LORD like they used to. One of the greatest things that grieves my heart is someone who says, “Oh yeah. I have read the Bible. I used to be in small group Bible studies. I used to be in prayer groups….been involved at church, been there done that.”

When people say this it breaks my heart! These people are talking about the PAST. God is not a God of the past! He is not like a magician that pops out of the bottle when we need Him and then goes back into the bottle when things are good or easy. God is the God of yesterday, today AND TOMORROW.

We need to have a mindful heart in order to finish strong.
King Asa was awesome. He renewed the covenant with the LORD. He was bold in his faith. He even rebuked members of his own family for pagan practices. But King Asa didn’t CONTINUE in his faith. He left his faith when he started to forget. He forgot about the victory God gave him. He forgot about all the times God was there for him. He forgot about the joy and peace the nation experienced when God was the LORD and on the throne of their lives.

Yesterday’s faith is not enough.

Look at Spurgeon’s commentary on King Asa’s backsliding:
“The power of Ethiopia [the more difficult trial] was broken before him, and Judah’s armies returned laden with the spoil. You would not have thought that a man who could perform that grand action would become, a little after, full of unbelief; but the greatest faith of yesterday will not give us confidence for to-day, unless the fresh springs which are in God shall overflow again.” (Spurgeon)

See King Asa saw Ethiopia as a nation too great, too big for him and went to God for help. But later, he saw the smaller kingdom of Syria as “no big deal” and decided to handle the problem himself.

I love what Spurgeon said, “the greatest faith of yesterday will not give us confidence for today.”

We have to remind ourselves DAILY of what God has done. Our faith from yesterday WILL grow stale.

Think about it….if you are married, you remember the first time your spouse said, “I love you” but is that enough? No! You want to be reminded about your spouse’s love every day. That’s the point of a relationship...A relationship deepens and grows as you SPEND TIME with each other. The same way, our relationship with God deepens and grows as we spend time in His Word, in prayer, in fellowship and in sharing of the things God has done.

I am saddened by the King Asa’s in my life. I pray for them. We need to also remember that WE TOO can be like King Asa. Seeking God in the big trials, but neglecting God in the small ones…No matter the circumstance, every season, every day we need to pray and stay connected to the vine. (John 15:5)

Have faith and don’t stop praying for people. Not all backsliders end up like King Asa. Keep praying for the backslidden people in your life….remember the prodigal and remember Peter (re-commissioned).

So if our God is so good why do people back slide anyway? Sin, the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, the pride of life, the enemy, the world’s temptations…the list goes on and on…but King Asa’s reason for backsliding was due to pride in his flesh AND forgetfulness. May we remind ourselves DAILY of what God has done so we may finish strong!

Acceptance

It’s back to school time! I am reminded of the first day of school. I always loved fashion so I would think about my first day of school outfit several weeks before the big day…

I would lay out my clothes way in advance! I would even put my accessories (head band, necklace, earrings, etc.) out with my outfit and shoes. I wanted to look my best! It’s the first day of school, eeek! OK. So most people can relate to this…the idea of wanting to look your best and make a good first impression. However, does our need for acceptance of others get in the way of our walk with God?

I have always been the type of person that says, “I don’t care what other thinks of me. I just want to be me.” I always liked funky things. My mom even called me, “My daughter: the bag lady” because I loved vintage clothes. However, my affinity for all things used (yard sale, thrift stores, flea markets) was just an expression of myself right? Well, yes and no. Yes, your clothes and your decisions of how to relate to people is an expression of yourself. But let me ask this question- If you were on an island all by yourself would you shave your legs (for ladies)? For men would you shave your face/beards? Would you worry about how you looked?

I am convinced people make themselves “look” a certain way in large part for acceptance by others.

My point is this. We as social beings want to be accepted by others. We know there are cultural norms we adhere too. A women does not wear a white dress to a wedding, a man does not wear flip flops on a business interview, etc. But those are just silly examples. We know acceptance goes deeper than outer appearance.

Sometimes I feel like I am not accepted by people. I am sometimes rejected by fellow Christians as hyper-spiritual and harsh or critical. I am rejected by the world as religious. I know, I know, Christ’s view of me is the only acceptance I need…but still my emotions sometimes gets in the way. Whenever my spirit and flesh wage war- I PRAY.

I talk to Jesus and I say, “Lord…no one really gets me like you. You are the only one who knows my intentions, you know my thoughts and you know how I want so much to show you my devotion and love without distraction. You know how I want to love others like you do. I mess up daily LORD but thank you for loving me for me. Help me be who you created me to be and to not care of the things of this world.”

Like in Psalm 139, “You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.” Psalm 139:1-6

So on this journey, I continue to go confident in Christ and I say to myself, “I don’t care what others think of me. All that matters is God’s view of me”

Then a trial or too comes along to test this…A few months ago I was in a Bible study and I said something…Later I thought. Why did I say that? What was I thinking? What will he/she think? I am so dumb. LORD help me know when to speak and when to be silent.

Then I had another situation where I just felt like my personality was annoying someone. I felt really down. “I am trying to reflect you Jesus. I want to shine for you, but I feel like I just don’t mesh with this person. Why don’t they like me? Help me know LORD how to act and react to this person”

This person doesn’t like me. It made me really sad! I tried to snap out of it…but I kept thinking about it and thinking about it….I was like, “Lord, help me to get over it! I am praying and help me just to love you and enjoy you.”

I started second guessing myself…why in the world is this bothering me? I have never been self-conscious, why all of a sudden all these emotions? I asked God to show me the problem like David. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24)

I had one of those “a-ha” “light bulb” moments. I said to myself “Laura, you really DO care what other people think of you!”

Oh man! I was so upset. I immediately thought of this verse:
The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Jeremiah 17:9-10a

I thought I had this area down! I thought this was an easy area for me. I thought it was easy to care more what God thinks of me. I thought I was like David…content to just play my harp and worship the LORD. I didn’t think I was like Saul always worried about what this person thinks of me or what that person thinks….

But God has really broken me. God has shown me I need to NOT trust my heart and to never be confident in anything (but His Word of course).
(Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility. Proverbs 18:12)

God has shown me so many areas where I need to die to myself and allow Him to grow me. God is pruning me big time.

Here are some examples of what God has shown me:
-I do care what my family thinks of me. I want them to believe I am a good mother.
-I do care what my husband thinks of me. I want him to think I am still attractive. I’m not just a wife but I’m his “girlfriend” and companion and friend.
-I do care what my clients think of me. I want to shine for Jesus in my work.
-I do care what my children think of me. I want them to see I love Jesus and I am woman of prayer. (pray first, worry, never)
-I do care what my church family thinks of me. I want them to see that I love them and am there for them in any way God opens a door for ministry opportunities.

This is what God has shown me. God wants me to be a woman after His own heart. In 1 Samuel 13 Saul disobeyed by offering the sacrifice and not waiting for Samuel. Saul was more concerned with what men thought than obeying the LORD. (Pastor David Guzik comments, “Saul was a man after Israel’s heart. He was all about image and prestige and the things men look at. But God will now give Israel a man after His own heart, and raise that man up to be king.”)

It’s not about “being fake” and acting one way in front of one person and another way in front of another person. God wants me to love Him, to ask for His Holy Spirit to guide my heart, to guide my thoughts, my conduct, my speech and my decision making. God wants me to cover every decision I make in prayer (God, should I go to this birthday party? Or am I spreading myself too thin on this Saturday with too many events?) God wants to be intimately involved in all areas of my life, in all relationships!!!!

So I am NOT walking around biting my nails wondering if I look OK, if I behave OK, or if I smiled at that person or not. What I am doing is realizing that how you see people and how people see you matters to God.

Walk with Jesus and allow Him to permeate you and what will happen? Others will see you as a Jesus Freak. That is my life goal-- to be a woman after God’s own heart. If the world, or even other Christians don’t like me, that’s OK. They rejected Jesus too. (Jesus said, "O Jerusalem how I want to gather you like a hen gathers her chicks...") I am more aware now that I am a social person and although I love to be friendly I must be cautious with my friendships. I must be loving to others but honest at the same time…I just need to be like Jesus. My encouragement is this, be careful not to trust in the areas that you think you are strong in spiritually…you will be tested. You will be tested in your weak areas too. Just trust in God, don’t lean on or trust in yourself, don’t even trust your own heart or emotions, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest (Prov. 3:5-6). His acceptance is really all that matters