Lost in HIS eyes

 When I was a little girl I was not into Madonna or Janet Jackson or Prince I loved and adored Debbie Gibson…

I remember listening to the song “Foolish Beat” over and over again. 

There was something about the way that she sang and the way that she played piano and she even wrote her own music…. I thought I was her biggest fan.

The Debbie Gibson concert

The very first concert I ever went to as a little girl …was the Debbie Gibson concert at the Great Western Forum… my mom and dad took me …and it was a night I’ll never forget. 

*Lately I have been feeling very lost*

I know that God is with me and He will never leave me nor forsake me. 

“I know that my redeemer lives.”

I know that even though I might feel alone, I’m never alone- for God is my helper and my hope. I know that Jesus loves me …I trust the Bible tells me so. 

I know that my good Shepherd died on the cross for me and that He keeps me under His careful watch…

Even though I know these things in my head, I still have been “feeling” lost. 

I’ve been feeling lost as a wife… lost as a mother to a teen daughter…lost as a mother to a teen autistic son. Lost as a woman… I’ve been so low and down…

I wanted to share this with you. 

I know that I’m not lost!

I know the truth that my feelings fail me. 

I know that these emotions aren’t real and they don’t have intellect but I feel them nonetheless. (My son is entering high School & it has my emotions all over the place!) 

God is faithful… the other day the Lord reminded me of an old Debbie Gibson song “Lost in Your Eyes”

This is a song I sang over and over again.

 I would play the song on my cassette player. I even had the record too.

“Lost in Your Eyes” was a big hit for Debbie Gibson. 

Here are some of the lyrics:

“I get lost in your eyes

And I feel my spirits rise

And soar like the wind

Is it love that I am in?

I get weak, in a glance

Isn't this what's called romance?

And now I know

'Cause, when I'm lost I can let go

I don't mind not knowin' what I'm heading for

You can take me to the skies

It's like being lost in heaven

When I'm lost in your eyes

I just fell, don't know why

Something's there we can't deny

And when I first knew

Was when I first looked at you

And if I can't find my way

If salvation is words away

Oh, I'll be found

When I am lost in your eyes”

You might be thinking-

‘Wow that’s a cheesy pop love song from the 80s alright’  It’s cool, my feelings aren’t hurt. 

I realized that when I’m lost, floundering, sad, bogged down by the cares of the world, beat up by autism (figuratively & literally) it’s ok to get Lost in His Eyes.

God is El Roi- the God who sees me.

He sees me when I go to sleep sad. He sees me when I’m drained from Isaac‘s behaviors. He sees me when I feel like I’m not enough. He sees me when my teen daughter rolls her eyes at me. He sees me when I go to the store all alone…

He sees me when I make Isaac‘s breakfast every morning. He sees me when I prepare Isaac’s anti-seizure medicine for him to drink every morning and every afternoon. He sees my pain. He sees those memories that flood me from July 4, 2020 when Isaac had a grand mal seizure in the car… or before that in May 2020 when Isaac pulled out a chunk of hair from my head while I was driving…

He sees me. He sees how sad I get when I look at old pictures of my family. We look happy we look strong we look like better. 

Now I look at our recent family pictures and I see wrinkles on us ….I see how autism has aged us ….I see how Isaac is taller and stronger and has hairy legs like a man…

Jesus sees everything. 

He sees me when I wake up at 4:30 and I can’t sleep and I read through the Psalms. He sees me as I read two verses and break into tears. He sees me when I walk into the backyard look up at the moon and say “Jesus help!”

He sees me when I can’t even talk I just whisper prayers over Isaac.

He sees me when I scroll on Instagram and long to have these images as my own a life that these people have -a life without autism -a life with less pain…

He sees me when I pray and I ask God to save souls. 

He sees me when I read His Word and He watches me become whole as I let His Word water me. 

So I will gladly say that “ I’m lost in His eyes”

I’m lost without Jesus but I’m completely found and held by Him! 

You see emotions are just a training ground…

We can either let our emotions guide us towards Jesus or we will let our emotions roll over us like a brutal master. 

Feeling lost is not so bad when you’re lost in The Eyes of a Loving Savior !

So go ahead lift up your eyes and weary head and get lost in His love ALL over again!