What is my trigger? Meltdown Alert!

It is such a joy and a thrill to share with others ( whether on social media or one on one ) when Isaac has breakthroughs.

Today I would like to share about a breakthrough I had.

I’m really trying to learn how to have joy in trials. (James 1:2-4) 

Isaac has been fighting a cold and on Tuesday he bit me. I wish I could say that it was minor but it really hurt bad - I have a huge bruise/welt on my arm. 

I was in the checkout line at the $.99 store and I believe Isaac simply got too overwhelmed. 

He bit me and through the melt down of course the checkout clerk and others were staring at us.

All I could do was try to sooth him and tell him “let’s pay, all done store.” 

He said “Sorry no biting” and he knows he’s not supposed to have that aggressive behavior.

We work on this constantly. 

I have pictures about this we have therapists work with him on this (Monday through Friday) he works on this with his teachers and aids at school. 

It’s really really frustrating.

I cannot recall the last time he did this and so for that I’m thankful.

Here is the breakthrough- I didn’t cry and become hysterical or fight feelings of hopelessness. I bounced back.  

“How is this a breakthrough?” you might be wondering.

Well, in life I have come to realize all of us have triggers. 

People that have been through trauma have triggers. We all have triggers whether we realize it or not. For example people that are clean freaks (OCD or just really really clean) get triggered- annoyed frustrated and grumpy -when there’s dust on the floor or dirty shoes in the front room or an untidy or unkept room. 

One of my triggers as a grown woman and  special needs mom is “biting.” 

If Isaac wakes up in the middle of the night at 3 AM and he’s yelling and playing loudly that doesn’t bother me. I might be a little bit stressed and upset but it’s not a trigger. 

If Olivia has a bad day at school and starts crying I pray with her and soothe her- still, it’s not a trigger. If I get a note from the teacher that Isaac had an “off day” and was unable to complete his work, that is not a trigger. If my husband comes home from work and expresses frustration with people that don’t really care for students, that is not a trigger. 

When I go to court and the judge is late or I’m not able to discuss all of the items that I planned for that day, this is not a trigger.

Biting is a trigger. 

Isaac’s biting makes me sad and melancholy for days. 

I cry and pray and weep and pray.

I ask God for mercy... it takes me quite a while to bounce back. 

I have talked about this quite a bit (over this last year) with the Lord and I realize that the reason why Isaac’s biting (or severe aggression) bothers me so much is because I desire with all my heart for Isaac to be a blessing to others. 

Biting, hair pulling, pinching- it physically hurts. 

It’s a megaphone of the reality that Isaac has autism.

The ability to bounce back from an incident is hard for me. 

I tell myself: 

“Yes God is good. Yes God is real. Yes God will work in Isaac. Yes God has done miracles in Isaac. Yes God is still on the throne.”

I pray and try to let it go... 

But ....when Isaac bites it still hurts !

I hurt physically, emotionally and spiritually. 

It’s more than just an outer wound it’s an inner wound...

I had a breakthrough this week because the Lord carried me...

In stead of running to my unhinged emotions... I simply “let it be” 

Isaac bit me, oh well, moving on “God’s got this!” 

Paul said it well 

“But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God” Acts 20:24

Self talk can be really self destructive... 

Letting our emotions run wild can also be self destructive...

Prov 4:23 (NIV) 

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Thank you Father that we can take every thought captive! Thank you God that our emotions are not the boss- You are! Our circumstances are not the boss-You are ! You are on the throne of my heart and even on rough days, I can cling to You, Jehovah Shalom my Prince of Peace !! 

Why do I take my flesh in my teeth, And put my life in my hands? Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. He also shall be my salvation....

Job 13:14-16a NKJV

Above everything else guard your heart, because from it flow the springs of life. Prov 4:23

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ

2 Corinthians 10:5  (NIV)

May these verses encourage you to let God help you when YOU get triggered.  

Seek God’s help, He is faithful to protect us, guard us, and guide us through any and every storm of life.