Throw Away the Balance- It's all Mine

The Lord speaks during worship.
Whether you are asleep and wake up at night thinking of the Lord.
Whether you are reading your Bible and meditating on Him.
Whether you are lifting your hands in praise singing in church...
We should always be ready to hear from the LORD.
Like little Samuel heard his voice "Samuel, Samuel..." "Speak Lord your servant is listening"
(1 Samuel 3:10).

A few weeks ago I was having a sweet time of worship...
I sang and poured out my hearing..
I prayed a familiar "Laura" prayer...(you know those personal prayers we all have...where we ask God to help in an area of our life we are lacking)
"Lord, please help me have balance. Please help me"
I felt the LORD respond.
Stop.
Stop asking me for balance...IT'S ALL MINE.

I wasn't quite sure what this meant...so I waited on Him to reveal it and explain it to me.

For years (I do mean YEARS) I have been praying and asking the LORD to help me have balance.
I have my family, home/house responsibilities, work part time, love to pray with people in need, Bible studies, Isaac's ABA Autism therapy, time with my daughter (she needs it...she endures a lot as the big sister of a special needs child), writing encouragement, grocery shopping, take out the papers and the trash (ha, ha, ha....remember that 50s song) etc.

My list.... your list is unending...There is so much to do and only one me.

I am not organized so I constantly give it to the LORD. Help me with balance and help me get organized LORD.

But on that evening in March, God said STOP. Stop asking for balance, it's all mine.
If the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. I can do the same. When God through His Holy Spirit is leading me to pray a different prayer..I should want to listen and obey. (Luke 11:1)

When the Holy Spirit leads you...the directive may often seem strange...
Like God asking ...well NO He was not asking....He was instructing Jonah to go to Ninevah...it seemed strange to Jonah (as some of us are learning in the Jonah Bible Study at CCCV) Jonah 3:2

So the LORD directing me to throw away the balance seemed strange to me...but I want to obey His instructions even when I don't fully get it...

Throw away the balance....It's All Mine...

It's all mine. What are you trying to say LORD?
The LORD is El Kanna- a jealous God. For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. Deut 4:24 (NIV)

God wants to invade and permeate ALL areas of our life.
He wants ALL of it.
Like we may have learned as a child "He's got the whole world in His hands"
The earth is the Lord's and everything in it. 1 Corinthians 10:26 (NIV)
The earth is the LORD's and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein. (KJV)

So when God says "It's all mine" he's not being rude or demanding...He's just speaking Truth to my heart, He speaks Truth to yours too.

We understand this in the area of giving. We give to the LORD because all we have belongs to Him and we thankfully and generously want to give back to His kingdom purposes....

But when it comes to time management....we forget (at least I do) this concept.
When God spoke to my heart telling me to throw away the balance...I felt freedom. Freedom to let go of my preconceived notion of what a "balanced life" means.
Think of it this way....
As a mom, is grocery shopping important? More important than doing devotions? Or taking your kids to the park on a nice day to get some energy out? Or is it more important to go on a date and let grandma watch the kids? How do we juggle all of this in one day?
Or maybe a person is a teacher. You have instruction time, then you want the students to have open discussion/dialogue and you also want them to be able to work in groups. Which is more important?

IT'S ALL IMPORTANT.

That's why God's Word so wonderfully tells us if we trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding in ALL our ways acknowledge Him, He will direct our paths. Prov 3:5-6.

"Mommy are you stressed?"

Olivia asks me this sometimes when we are running a little late on the way to her school.
I tell her no baby I'm not stressed, we just need to get passed this high school morning traffic and we are free. Who does't get a little stressed by traffic?

I used to get so upset driving 2 hours to work in LA court (not that often...maybe 1 time a month, but it still made me upset).

This is such a waste of time! I would think. All this traffic. I have laundry, I have client phone calls. I could be working on my Bible study and instead....sit...sit...crawl...crawl on the 10 freeway parking lot.

Then one day I felt so convicted. I always listen to KWVE 107.9 during my drive. The LORD reminded me...those 2 hours were not a waste! You were being fed the whole time....
This blessed my heart. When and where else would I sit for 2 hours without the children or other distractions during the morning and just soak in all of those teachings?

Another time..again...driving...KWVE was not coming on! (only static) Now what do I do? I am driving frustrated to begin with but I love listening to praise and teachings and now it's static? Ugh! The LORD said, why don't you turn off the radio and just pray....Oh what a joyous time I had talking to the LORD, sharing my heart and pouring out my thanks and my concerns and just talking to Jesus...

God is teaching me the life we live on this earth really is ALL His. We can't put this certain activity as more spiritual than another. Being a mom is just as important to God as finishing my Bible study. Going to the grocery store? I could run in and do my errands and never think about the LORD. Or, I could say Father help my attitude. Help me see all of these errands as important and you have a plan for me. Help me prioritize my to do list and if there is anything there that's not of you....help me let it go.

I have had moments when I have 300 hundred things to do and I get an interruption...a phone call or text someone needs prayer. (not literally 300....but you know that feeling!)

I could go about my day and ignore the phone call or text message...Or I can ask God through His Holy Spirit to lead me.

We pray something so beautiful in the women's prayer room. "LORD multiply their time"
What this means is this....the women that sacrifice their time to attend intercessory prayer have things to do as wives and mothers....We ask God to bless them for the sacrifice and for their willingness to come and pray for the church and for others in need. We ask God to multiply their time for the gift of time they have given to His kingdom. Guess what? He ALWAYS does. Always!

Not a balanced life...but a God directed life. That's what I am praying for now.

Pray with me!
Help me, lead me, guide me Holy Spirit to do what God would have me do for the day...direct me LORD teach me LORD because every minute of the day IS YOURS. You are right God when you say "It's all mine". You are so right! You are a jealous God and you desire not just my devotion and my heart, but you desire my surrender of my time and my agenda for the day...Your agenda is always better...Forgive me for trying to juggle everything in my own strength and neglecting your Holy Spirit as you guide my day here and there. I want to live the Spirit filled life and if that means throwing away my idea of what I think it means to have a balance...so be it! In Jesus Name Amen!