Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Motives

Sometimes the Lord parks me on a verse of a word.
I can't shake this word- MOTIVE.
Motive: definition -a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious.
synonyms:reasonmotivation, motivating force, rationale, grounds, causebasisobjectpurposeintention
A motive can be completely subtle or even unrecognized.
For example, a motive for exercising can be one of the following : I want to look good in a swim suit or I want to be healthy. Or a combination.
I think we are so busy we don't often think of motives. 
If we slow down enough we might get scared of our motives --- why?
Many of our motives are not good and are self centered.
If you ask a student why he/she tries hard in school the student may reply "so I can get into a good college?"
But why?
"So I can get a good career "
But why? 
"So I can make a good salary."
But why?
"To make money - lots of money."
Aha! That's the true motive. 
In our walks with the Lord I want to challenge myself and I encourage you to challenge yourself too asking
  • What's my motive? What is my reason for doing this?
Many times we do things because they are expected of us. Many times we do things because we feel the need to be accepted. But if we really truly stop and see why we do what we do--we might not see Jesus as the central reason. 
Our motives can be mixed or off balance or wrong all together .
Example:
Morning devotions-
Q-Why have them?
A- I read my Bible in the morning because that's what my parents taught me to do.
A- I read devotions because it's a good way to start the day.
A- I read because I want to be a good Christian.
Now I highly encourage all parents to teach their kids to read their Bibles. 
I strongly believe and agree reading the Word is the best way to start the day.
I agree that reading the Word daily is a key component to waking with the Lord and abiding and bearing fruit.
But....
The proper Biblical motive to waking up and having devotions should be
  • So I can know Jesus more (Phil  3:10, Luke 10:27)
It is oh so subtle. The enemy the flesh and the world all work together to distort our views and twist our motives. (1 John 2:16)
We've got to get this right. This is super important for revival- we need to put Jesus back in the center again. 
Not activities- not social clubs, not disciplines that don't have meaning -not saying one thing and doing another not saying one thing and MEANING something else - but our true motive and reason for EVERYTHING should be- TO EXALT AND GLORIFY the Name of JESUS. Phil 2:9-13
We can't miss this.
We can't do the right thing for the wrong reason. 2 Corinthians 13:5 We need to return to our first love. (Rev 2:4 NLT I have this complaint against you. You don't love me or each other as you did at first!)
Jesus said if you have something against your brother - before you give your gift to the Lord- make up- repent- and ask for forgiveness. Matt 5:24
Why is this so important to Jesus?
Jesus always looks at the heart.  ALWAYS. (See Matthew Ch 5 and Ch 6)
Matthew 6:1 "Watch out! Don't do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven." NLT 
Josh Bowers (Fresh Life church- from the Summer Fruit series) talked about serving out of guilt. He shared how some people serve because they feel they owe God something - "don't do God any favors" he said- the price has been paid! John 3:16, Matt11:28 
For the JOY set before Him Jesus went to the cross. It is for joy. We should be motivated by love and serve out of an overflowing joy filled heart.
Hebrews 12:1-2  -Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (NIV)
Notice the encouragement above is to fix your eyes on Jesus. We need to check and double check our motives.
May God give us pure hearts and may the Holy Spirit refine us and prune us so our motives are always Christ centered and not Christ sidelined.  

Monday, May 23, 2016

Confessions of a prom queen

Confessions of a prom queen

Wait- what?
Yes I was prom queen. 1997.
May is the month for moms and proms.
So here we go...
Walk with me down memory lane
Next year will be 20 years since I graduated high school. (Wow!) and all of a sudden the Lord struck my mind with memories...
Not of prom ... But of the young me...
Our fellowship Calvary Chapel Chino Valley has been using the month of May to help the youth with identity struggles.
They have tackled issues such as body image, eating disorders, cutting, homosexuality, etc.
High school years for most people are extremely awkward and heart wrenching.
But for me, I always loved school, loved activities, loved friends. It was bliss.
I excelled at many things.
But I still needed God.

Here's my prom story-

Obligatory backstory first  (I'll keep it brief)
It didn't bother me much that people called me teacher's pet or joked that I was the smartest kid in class.
I wasn't the smartest kid. I simply loved school and had an enthusiasm for learning and loved sharing what I had learned.
I was the first person to raise my hand, volunteer an answer or write  on the board.
I won student of the year in 5th grade.
Lots of honor rolls, etc
Fast forward to High school. I had not completely walked away from the Lord...but I sure let a big distance creep in.
I got good grades, tried to stay away from drugs, took my SATs...was active in drill team ... Tried out for swim ( I was super slow...short legs I guess- humor- you can laugh)
Then senior prom time.
Some friends mentioned my name. I was nominated.
I won.
Every little girls dream. Hold the roses, get a crown, dance a dance, college bound...
I still remember my parents asking me "can you call us when you find out if you've won or not- call us either way" I had to use a pay phone- no cell phones yet
It was a fun experience ...
The reason I'm sharing this is because I know there are a great many kids out there like me (or rather how I was growing up ) NOT doing outwardly bad things. Getting good grades, obeying parents, involved in activities.
These honor roll kids need God too.
I remember one night going to bed and literally feeling like I had it all.
I have friends, a boyfriend, leader on my drill team, good grades, fun times, parents who love me- I won the prom queen! I have a lot going good for me...right now.
But there was still a void.
I needed Jesus.
This is why I'm writing this blog-
GOOD KIDS NEED JESUS TOO.
Moms, dads, aunts, uncles---There is a sea of uncharted territory out there-- a mission field -
Good kids.
(Good in the worldly sense, of course Gods Word says there is none who does good not one) Psalm 14:2-3
I knew I had a wall up with God. That wall was sin.
I felt convicted but I didn't know how to move forward. I started attending church (by then I was a teen, I drove myself and started going to a youth group too)
One day I got on my knees in my bedroom at the age of 18 and I said I was sorry for my sins. I confessed that I had been leading my own life instead of letting God lead me.
I was never the same.
I know if you are reading this you might be thinking of a friend or family member who has always been a "good person"
Don't stop praying for them.
Don't be fooled ...
They still need the Gospel, they still need to be born again.
Pray.
Pray for the people in your life who appear to have it all together.
Remember it just looks good on the exterior. Without God and Christ's blood we all perish. John 3:16
We need Him and we need Him bad.
Christ is our identity ---not the good we've done or the bad we've done.
No good deed is good enough to get to heaven, and no bad deed is bad enough to separate you from Gods love.
It's all grace.
I'm thankful for Gods love in saving me and using me- I'm not worthy of any of it- but I accept His gift.
I see a lot of myself in my daughter. She is very driven and at times gets upset if something is scary or not going her way. I encourage her to go to Jesus with any problem ...for He is always the right answer.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Your Will be done- Letting God Order From the Menu

"I'll have what He's having"
Matt 6:10-
Jesus teaches us to pray. He says "your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" 
We pray this constantly-
God -your will be done. 
One commentary said 
The thought is not merely God's will realized in this or that action, whether performed or endured by us (. Matthew 26:42Acts 21:14), but God's will as a whole coming into full being.

So Gods will coming into full being- how can we include this in our prayer lives? 
His residence in Us He - Christ Making us Whole

Praying "His will be done" is actually a prayer of surrender.
 pastor Levi Lusko said this---
"I'll have what He's having"
It really struck me and I want to help illustrate. 

Imagine you walk into a French restaurant. The entire menu is in French and you have no idea what to order. 
The person you're with is French born and raised he knows the menu inside and out and understands the language and He knows the cuisine. 
He orders.
Then you say
"I'll have what he's having."

You trust him because he knows- he has full knowledge of the menu and what is best - 

So you trust his meal selection 
Rather than ordering something that might be subpar or just out right gross you trust him you say I'll have what he's having.
That is what we are saying when we pray
Your will be done.

Jesus lives to make intercession for us. So we pray your will be done we are saying God you know my heart and know I would like to live in a different  neighborhood  or that I would like to see you work in this area but nevertheless I'll have what he's having -Jesus you have a better knowledge of me better than I even know myself and you know what I need so I'm going to trust you and what your will is for me, so if I have prayed anything that is not pleasing to you I give you permission to cancel it out ---I trust you. 

Another example is with parenting-
I don't know what it is about motherhood that can make us so sad at times---
We pray this child would be better at math we pray that child would mind her manners-
And why won't any of them clean their rooms. 
God I need help- ugh no God takes too long I'll just do it all myself-
I will whip this child into shape I'll get a tutor for the math and I'll clean their rooms myself ---
We in essence have an agenda a preconceived notion of what motherhood is supposed to be or what it's supposed to look like---
When it doesn't look right, we get grumpy mad at our husbands and sometimes even mad at God.
So what if your child likes to play in the mud?  let him. Pray and ask God to show you his heart for your kids.

Your will be done Lord, I'll have what you're having 


I share this because I want you to know that it's ok to want things- good things - but what you want maybe good, God wants to give you His best! We have to trust Him when we pray..
Really really trust him
Colossians 1:9 
"So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding."

Let Him order from the menu-
God is the chef, the inventor of the dish, the designer of the food menu, the creator and cultivator of every good and perfect gift, He knows- He knows what's best- it is not easy but may we yield to Him in our prayers and  learn to say your will be done! "I'll have what you're having Jesus I trust you"



Friday, April 1, 2016

Not Why, but What

Many parents with children on the spectrum are concerned about their child's ability to become potty trained.

The reality is they don't make pull-ups in size 10.

When you change a diaper of a five-year-old it's not pretty. Isaac's journey of potty training started like most other children around three years old. Then four years old then five years old ...

I  began to think he would never fully get it.

We tried all of the techniques --rewards chart, candy, stickers, praise, etc.

Nothing seemed to work. I even remember reaching out to regional center and asking them for help.

I need professional help! I need a full-time assistant that can follow Isaac around and take him potty every hour on the hour. I tried to get this approved by regional center but it did not go through. Finally, I  turned to fervent and specific prayer and continued to cry out to God.

Chuck and I were constantly praying and asking God to help Isaac  learn how to use the potty. One summer I became extremely overwhelmed. I had cleaned up poop from the restroom wall and my sons body and out of his underwear and out of his pants one too many times. I began to sob loudly.
"What Lord ?what is it you're trying to teach me through this? I'm not going to ask you why I just want to know what ??? what lesson am I supposed to learn from this?"

I did not get a booming voice from heaven. But what I got was an answer to my prayers. I was learning humility. God was teaching me to be humble and teaching me that I would need to be there for my son no matter how hard no matter the challenge and regardless of how downright gross it would be.

The Lord taught me in all of those potty training moments that there was nothing beyond Gods spotlight. God knows everything he knows the ugly truth, the pain, sorrow and the pit of dirt and shame ...

The religious leaders often scoffed at Jesus because he was reaching out to the rejected of the world the prostitutes the tax collectors.

These people were  the scum of the earth. That's sort of what I was doing. I was helping Isaac in one of the most challenging tasks. As I would clean my son over and over again, God was teaching me not to lose heart not to give up hope on my boy. God doesn't give up on us.

After literally years of working on this ---Isaac was potty trained and I'm proud to say it was through God's help and not one finger of an autism professional. God used me ---little me --to help my son overcome a huge obstacle ---something that would help him in his life forever-using the potty. This part of our journey is very hard for me to share because it really hit me to my core.

Not "why Lord?" But what Lord ?  what are you teaching me?? God wanted to teach me humility and to be able to wait on him and cry and try again. (Isaiah 40:31)

Still to this day I am so proud of my son for learning how to use the potty. It takes persistence and a lot of love and patience to help a child with autism grasp this huge lifelong skill. The reality is there are children on the spectrum and adults that can't do this. This was a huge breakthrough for Isaac this was a huge breakthrough for my family and just one little glimpse of what it's like on our journey with autism...
Phil 4:13

Friday, March 25, 2016

The Disciples View of Good Friday

Good Friday from the disciples was a terrible Friday - it was diagnosis day-
It's cancer
He's not going to make it
Your child has a rare disease
I'm leaving you for another woman
Good Friday was death of a dream
Their dreams and hopes were in Jesus the man they walked with for 3 years- the messiah
But now he is dead-
Guess we were wrong
He's not the chosen one
Isn't it just like us that they focused on what their eyes could see?
They saw Jesus hanging from the cross and COULD NOT FATHOM the reality he would rise again
I don't know why but this Good Friday I am putting myself in the disciples sandals.
All their dreams and hopes were dead literally
Have you been there?
When my sister Patty was diagnosed with cancer she was not even 40 and she said I don't know how people can deal with this without God.
That's the source of our hope- God.
The disciples focused on THEIR SPECIFIC DREAMS not on Gods plan of salvation.
What if Jesus said "I really love my disciples they have stuck with me through thick and thin guess I won't go to the cross because that will disappoint them..."
No.
Jesus had a BIGGER plan a bigger dream
He needed to die ---that was the reason he came.
I go back to Gen 22:12-14
 And He (the LORD)said, “Do not lay your hand on the lad, or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.”
Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram, and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son. And Abraham called the name of the place, The-Lord-Will-Provide;[b] as it is said to this day, “In the Mount of the Lord it shall be provided.

On that same exact mountain that God provided Abraham with a ram, God would  provide the LAMB.

What dreams are you witnessing death to?

Pastor Britt Merrick's daughter died of cancer- he never saw her get married
Pastor Steve Mays died, Gail Mays will not celebrate another wedding anniversary or watch a grandbaby enter this world with him.
My son has autism, he will not likely participate in sports like typical kids- something my husband  and I had always looked forward to
My friend and her husband could not get pregnant - the dream of feeling a flutter in her tummy is dead

We all have dreams and hopes. We all have a time in our life that feels like a good Friday.
But we need to take our eyes off of self and focus on the Truth of Gods Word
God is for me and not against me Rom 8:31
Gods plan for me is good and not evil Jeremiah 29:11
Jesus  will return again and he is preparing a place for us John 14:2
Tear down this temple and in three days I will raise it up John 2:19
Jesus is the resurrection and the life. John 11:25
Trust God that His  dreams for you are better than your dreams for yourself Prov 3:5-6
Good Friday is the perfect example of this Truth!!

Monday, March 14, 2016

Remember- Forget NOT His benefits

It's Easter season...
Crosses in windows...Easter egg hunts advertised everywhere....
As believers we are thrilled to celebrate our hero and His breakthrough. His destruction of death.
Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday.


Psalm 103:2 says "Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits"
the NLT says "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."

Pastor Chad Veach mentioned this verse in 2013 in his message to Fresh Life Church. His testimony has really ministered to me.
He has a daughter with special needs, she has a brain disorder.
He discusses in his book "Unreasonable Hope" how one huge way he has endured this trial is by remembering...
He chooses to forget NOT all of God's benefits.
He chooses to never forget the good things God has done.

This one word "remember" has been ringing in my ear and resonating in my Spirit for a few weeks now.
In Fervent, Priscilla Shirer asks her grandmother why she writes down her prayers in a prayer journal, she says ---so she won't forget.

I love photos. I have film photos. I have polaroids from elementary school. I absolutely adore looking through photos (you may have noticed this...I go a little crazy on Throwback Thursday on my instagram)

But here's the thing....we are a forgetful people. I can sit with my husband and tell him "Remember when?" More often than not my husband says "I don't remember that!"

It's not about reflecting on the good ole days...it's about recalling fond memories of God's glorious works, His miracles, His answers to prayers (yes, no or wait) and His hand upon my life. 

I try to remember every day how God has answered so many prayers by giving Isaac speech. When I get frustrated because Isaac forgot to flush the toilet, I remember, there was a time I prayed and prayed and prayed for him to just learn how to use the potty. And he can. And we are thankful. 

When I look in my home, I remember how I grew up with 1 bathroom for many people. Now I have 2 bathrooms in my home---GLORIOUS.

Sometimes I even look in my purse and find money. I recall when I was a teen and even 1 dollar meant I was rich! I could buy a soda or a bean burrito from Taco Bell. You get the picture.

Remind yourself.

We sing "I remind myself of all that you've done. And the life I have because of your Son"
This is what Easter is all about- reminding ourselves of the victory of the cross.
Sometimes I think we sanitize Easter. We know the story all too well.
Can you imagine being spit at?
Can you imagine being beaten while blind folded?
Can you imagine the pain of watching your friends leave you?
Can you imagine the pain of looking down at your mom, the one who cleaned every boo-boo you ever had, every scraped knee, now looking up at you dying a sinner's death and there was nothing she could do about it? Call the ACLU? No. Call a lawyer for failure to read him his Miranda rights? No. She could do nothing...nothing but watch in horror.
And what about the two gangsters next to you?
They deserved their death. They were guilty guilty guilty.
And what did they do? They joined in the mockery. You were the butt of jokes, even on the cross, people were laughing and sneering.
(Now this part I hate. It always gets me.) 
The purple robe and crown of thorns. Royalty putting on rags. King of all authority wearing blood drops on his head where the thorns pierced through the already bruised and beaten forehead. 
Then they strip the robe off peeling layers of bloody skin that dried to it and gamble for the robe.

When you truly create the Biblical image of the cross in your mind it makes you sick to your stomach....and that is not even the full picture. We can only visualize the best we can, but the truth is, the cross was worse- more horrific than we can ever dream.

Yet He did it for you and me.

So how can we NOT remember??

How can we NOT choose daily to remember His blessings BIG and small?
Here's what happens.
We get comfortable. We get comfortable in our "day in and day out" of life that we forget.
It's not intentional...It's just part of our brain- we are forgetful.
NOW how can we fix this?
Well as I mentioned previously I love photos. 
I love to write notes to my husband. 
I love to receive notes from family members and friends.

Let's choose to FORGET NOT His benefits.
Let's write it down. So we can remember. Let's take mental pictures of God's goodness and remind ourselves daily.
Write a thank you note to the LORD (like Keith Green did...He said he wrote a letter to the LORD and put it in His Bible)
Write a list of blessings and pull it out when you are feeling blue.
Choose to remember.
Choose to recall.
The memory is an amazing thing. All it needs is a trigger. That's why we are so blessed to have God's Word. 
The psalms are filled with lists of miracles God did and invites us to remember.
Remember God gave Gideon the victory
Remember God saved Noah and his family
Remember God provided the ram/the sacrifice to be burned instead of Isaac
Remember Joseph and his troubles and how God worked all things together for good
Remember how He used little Esther's beauty to help save the Israelites for total destruction
Remember how God changed Saul into Paul and used him mightily
Remember when God paid that bill for you so miraculously
Remember when the LORD gave you the exact words to share with that stranger
Remember the day you said Yes to Jesus
Remember the cross

I love Psalm 103:2 in NLT it reads "Let all that I am praise the LORD; may I never forget the good things he does for me."

This is Good Friday and Easter. Remembering Jesus. Remembering His goodness to us. Choose to Remember and let not your heart be troubled as you forget NOT His benefits. 

Monday, March 7, 2016

It's Buffering...

Uh oh- It's Stuck!
If you come over my home you will hear Isaac say this. He would get so frustrated when the computer website would not download I told him- use your words--and now he says "computer stuck" The Internet might be buffering or the website might not load correctly- it's stuck-

Last Sunday Robert Baltodano shared from Ecclesiastes 9 and shared about this reality- we are all going to die.

But the truth is we don't think about this every day. We try to avoid this topic.

We know we're going to die and we know we want to live a life of purpose but we get stuck. We get stuck on that hamster wheel of life.

Wake up get a cup of coffee read a couple Bible verses go to work come home cook dinner go to bed wake up do it all again and wait for the weekend.

I challenge you friends where is the purpose in that ?
God did not create us to be hamsters-God created us with purpose each unique by the Master's hand. God sent Jesus not so we can have fire insurance and avoid hell-- but God sent Jesus to give us abundant life.
John 10:10

So what's up?

It's buffering.
It's stuck.
It's loading.
A bad Wi-Fi connection?

Maybe--

Maybe just maybe our computer system of life is buffering---
We acknowledge something  is wrong.
Something just ain't right!

There is something wrong when we see so many marriages failing. There's something wrong that we see so many 25 to 35-year-olds falling away from church and from walking with Jesus. There's something wrong that prayer meetings are so small. There's something wrong that so many servants are spread so thin...
There's something wrong when we see a lot of Moses-type-leaders but where are all the Joshuas?
Where is the passion ?
Where is the zeal?
Many in the church are staring at a computer because well...its buffering
Guess what?
We have a choice!
We can say- "hey wait a minute I'm not content with this hamster wheel life.
I am not content with maintaining the status quo."

Pastor Levi Lusko said every church is either
Risk-Taking
Maintaining
Or Undertaking

We can't sit around and wait for revival- we need to BE the revival.
We need to live passionately for God
We need to wait WITH EXPECTATION for God to move- wait in prayer and praise in the upper room.
We need to wake up and remember
WE ARE IN A WAR Eph 6.
If life seems "cushy and comfortable"
Be careful
You might be asleep- sleep walking
Or you might be slowly becoming numb to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit

Years ago I was participating in a fast.
Just me and Jesus...
Life was going pretty well at that time. No major trials. I just felt led to participate in this fast---
Then I realized something-
"IF YOU ARE NOT IN A TRIAL- PUT YOURSELF IN ONE."

What in the world does that mean?
Trials give us perspective.
Trials wake us up to the desperate need of God.
Just think about 9/11 and how people everywhere we're praying and the Lord used this terrible day to bring unity in our country.

So if you're not in a trial put yourself in one...
Intercede for someone who is hurting! (Care deeply)
Focus on the cross
Focus on praying for the lost
Meditate on verses that cause lamenting and Books like Job, Ezekiel, Isaiah, Lamentations, Psalm 22, 51, etc.
Go there.
Admit to God, "I'm too comfortable and I need you Holy Spirit to help me grieve over lost souls, help me pray without ceasing, show me the areas in my life where I am dead.
REVIVE ME... I admit to you God, my life has been stuck, I've been "buffering" waiting for better Wi-Fi waiting for someone else to do WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ME to do.
Jesus bring me to the cross."

Don't settle.
Life is too short to waste it in the monotony of religious activity- fall crazy in love with Jesus.
Don't wait- step into His will now.

He might be prompting you to take a step of faith. He might ask you to give something up. He might ask you to wake up earlier or stay up later. I don't know what God is telling you because He's personal and He speaks to you through  His word specifically to your heart-

Let's do this! Let's start revival praying and revival living - bye bye hamster wheel- it's about to get REAL!

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