Flat prayers

Do you ever pray and feel like the words don’t flow?

Have you ever felt muted? Like your mouth is moving, but the words are silent? Or like your prayers fall flat? 

My family loves to drink la croix or bubbly or other carbonated water beverages. 

They are crisp and refreshing, zero calories (win win!!)

Trials can cause a shift in our prayers.

I have been gutted through trials and I can get on my knees and feel flooded with peace. 

I have had moments of prayer with a girlfriend and the prayer flows and they seamlessly flow to God. 

These prayers are guttural, raw and it is as though the Holy Spirit put His stamp on it. 

But….

There are other times I feel my prayers have gone flat.

Flat, flat, flat…. 

Like a drink that was left over night and the fizz is gone.

 I share this because I am certain I am not the only one.

I love to pray scripture. When we pray God’s Word we are reminding God (and ourselves) of His promises and you can be certain praying a psalm is a beautiful encouraging way to pray! 

We groan

We sigh

We cry

We moan or murmur, or we might even scream…

These are all prayers and ways to express our heart to God. 

Just like a knife can get dull from overuse, our prayers can feel dull. 

I call them broken record prayers.

Here I am LORD, here is my request…

Here I go again with this same concern…

We might feel refreshed after unloading…. unpacking our heart to the LORD.

But other times we might not feel any different.

We might actually feel discouraged- again, flat prayers and we might feel as though God didn’t hear (A LIE!) 

We must press through, push forward and resist the temptation to stop praying. 

One thing that encourages me is asking someone to pray for me (and lift up my request) 

This reminds me of asking someone close to proof read a paper.  They have “fresh eyes” and they can see the situation with a new lens.

I love receiving prayer. This experience greatly honors God and refreshes me. Intercession takes the pressure off me to pray with the right words. I feel free to listen and not talk and simply enjoy the Holy Spirit praying through this friend. 

Lastly, God at times puts the pause on my praying for certain things and prompts me to “Just praise.”

Sometimes I am so close to the trouble, it can become almost an idol where I’m focused so much on the thorn and the problem and not truly focused on God’s character. 

I need to take a step back for a moment from my flat prayers and JUST PRAISE.

This blows my mind.

When we get to heaven, and all is accomplished as outlined in Revelation, there will be no more need for prayer -ONLY PRAISE. 

Praise continues on and on and will be our #1 job in heaven! 

This thrills me.

We get to come to the Lord and obtain mercy and help in time of need, YES, but if we lose sight of praise and worship, I fear we are treating God like Santa Claus and not Yahweh of Hosts/El Shaddai, the GREAT I AM, the King of Kings and LORD of Lords.

Jesus you are worthy! 

You said ask seek knock and we will not stop interceding until our last breathe.

Sometimes Lord, my prayers feel flat, but I reject my feelings and trust you Abba Father. You love to hear from your children! 

Please LORD teach us to worship! 

Take us back to the Cross.

May we stand in awe of you all over again!  May we remember, when our prayers fall flat, you live to make intercession for us and your prayer life Jesus is PERFECT!  

Hallelujah Amen! 

It's all ministry

 My husband and I had a really good conversation about "ministry."

He is a gifted teacher and I love to encourage.

However, with Isaac's health and disability related concerns being how they are lately, we find it difficult to even attend church. We can't serve.

Are you mad at us LORD?

Are we walking in our calling?

How can we serve you when autism and Isaac's needs are such a big part of our lives?
The LORD reminds me often "it is all ministry"

As I brush Isaac's teeth, help him get dressed for the day, pack his lunch, help him put on deodrant and all the steps of "getting dressed" as a 16 year old autistic young man, it's all ministry.

It does not feel like ministry at all.

There are no verses involved. There are no churches approving these tasks and assignments. 

Yet it truly is ministry.

Chuck and I are living examples of a "shift."

We used to record a podcast and talk about the Bible and encourage ourselves in the LORD at church and through small group studies too. We loved it! 

Now, we wake up at 5am or 5:30am and read our Bibles, (mostly quietly) then a pause to pray together and share a thought or two, and boom 6am, Isaac is awake. Our minds, lives and attention shifts to Isaac and his needs.

Ministry is super important but I think we forget what ministry means. We often think "the ministry" (serving in church or around God's people) is different than "ministry" whereby we serve at home, we serve our families, our community and it may not be under the umbrella of the church.

We want so badly to "do more" for the LORD. I blame this pressure-performance drive on the American culture and society always wanting you to "go big or go home."

Ministry can be quiet like ironing a shirt for your child or spouse, or giving a bottled water to someone, mailing a note of encouragement, praying over your child or loved one when they sleep. Ministry is weeping in the car because the worship song reminded you all over again how Good and Kind and Loving and Gracious Jesus is. 

Ministry is every where. Now, I am not being silly obviously brushing your own teeth, or tying your shoes may not be ministry per se but the Word says, "And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:17

As a special needs mom, I know that serving Isaac is ministry and it is valuable to the LORD and certainly valuable to Isaac and our whole family.

But let's be real- sometimes our day to day tasks do not "feel" like ministry.

If you serve at a counter at church, or volunteer to open your home for a church event, you have a big smile and know that you are serving the LORD and He is pleased (if your motives are pure, of course).

However, the day to day tasks, the unnoticed tasks like picking up medication for a loved one, opening the door for an elderly person, smiling at someone who you can tell had a hard day, giving a compliment, etc. these are ways we can serve the LORD. 

The behind the scenes tasks of life do not go unnoticed to the LORD.

We see this in the Gospel. I love the moment when Jesus said He saw Nathanael still under the fig tree (John 1:48) or when Hagar calls God "El Roi" the God who sees. 

God sees you. The LORD Ominpotent, Ominscient sees you and sees me in our day to day tasks. I think one day in heaven we will be surprised at the LORD in how many times He smiled at us when we did the lowly tasks no one else wanted to do.

Jesus washed feet, loved on the outcasts and did many mundane tasks while He was here on earth. May we not get caught up in one "certain type" of ministry but realize- our whole life, our mornings and nights and moments in between can be ministry if we do them unto the LORD.

Be encouraged!

One day in heaven...

One day in heaven...

What a day it will be....

No more seizures affecting his brain...

No more struggles, no more pain...

One day in heaven...

Jesus' face will eclipse my eyes, faith will be by sight...

One day in heaven...

No more watching Isaac struggle in these autism walls...

No more fears of dangerous falls...

One day in heaven...

I can see your calloused hands from the Carpenter's Shop,

I can see the bottles and bottles of my tear drops...

One day in heaven...

No death, disability, divorce or decay...

No unkind word, no interruptions to worship...

One day in heaven...

I read the Word, the letters you left...

I see how in the Garden you suffered while the disciples slept...

What task is there left for me to do?

I often try to point others to you.

"Serve him my daughter. The disabled son to you I gave. See each day as a gift and stay in my yoke"

"Through the battles, the raging, the torment you see, 

A living sacrifice you are to me."

LORD I am tired can that one day be today?

No, not yet, there are others to be saved...

One day in heaven sounds so far away...

Until then I'll crave you, I'll long to be there and mourn sometimes too...

For until heaven, I can sit here, meditate, weep and praise...

Spontaneous praise

Oh no! Isaac found something. 

Oh no! Isaac got into something he should not have. 

I cannot adequately share the mental shift my mind and heart go when Isaac is “triggered.”

Autism and all the elements of Isaac’s needs (and how disability affects him and us as a family) is incredibly complex. Yet, in some areas Isaac is very simple.

He likes his pool.

His loves Chick Fil A. 

He’s never met a cupcake he didn’t enjoy.

I long for connection with Isaac.

When I meditate on heaven, the first thing I desire is to hug Jesus. Not a side hug, or awkward hug. I desire a long embrace where I bury my face in His chest and I can hear Him breathing. I want to smell Him and be intoxicated by His aroma of grace and love.

After this long awaited hug filled with praise and tears of joy, I want to have a conversation with Isaac. 

(I’ll save the details of this for another blog!) 

Yesterday (July 8, 3023) Isaac had a breakthrough. I wanted desperately to write about this because I know many of you pray for him.

He found four Veggie Tales books at a friend’s house recently and this caused severe anxiety and obsession for Isaac. (A triggered moment) He was blessed with them as a “gift” (there was no turning back- if he finds veggie tales at your home, consider it a gift to Isaac… you ain’t getting it back!!)

Isaac then proceeded to stare at the books for hours, this turned into days and eventually he ripped the pages.

He then began to cry.

To see your 15 year old son (who looks like a man) crying real giant tears just breaks me.

That is the thing with trials…. You feel like you’ve surrendered something to the LORD only to be challenged and broken and shattered all over again. 

I tried to soothe him. I prayed for him.

For a day and a half it was still upsetting him…

In a turn of events, he found a ripped page from of one of the books…

He was staring at it… fixated and totally engrossed.

It was a picture that said “November” and was Bob and Larry and the gang seated around a table with a turkey and yummy food for Thanksgiving. 

Isaac looked at the ripped book page and said to me as clear as I have ever heard “Thank you Jesus for this food, AMEN.”

I was stunned. My sweet special disabled son understood the photo meant we should pray and give thanks.

I am trying my best to express the moment here in words… but I cannot. It was a breakthrough moment. A moment of spontaneous praise.

I give God all the glory!   

Why was this a breakthrough Laura? 

This moment was a breakthrough because the prayer was not written in the book. The words were written on his heart. The words on the page said something entirely different. But Isaac understood-during Thanksgiving (and every day) we thank Jesus for our food. 

This is also a Breakthrough because Isaac loves to eat. 

She really enjoys eating whether it’s a full meal a snack or delicious treats. Even our daughter Olivia has said that she loves to see Isaac smiling & even humming softly when he eats because he’s really enjoying the moment & the food! 

Oh GOD, I praise you for this breakthrough! You inspire us to pray and you have taught Isaac to pray. Oh JESUS we adore you! 

Chosen This Place

 Right now I am in Colorado. What a wild ride! We visited here 6 years ago and now by God’s grace we are back to see friends and enjoy the RMNP.

Reading through 1 and 2 Chronicles can be a chore. My advice- DO IT. (As part of the One Year Bible reading plan, this is where I landed today- July 6- 2 Chronicles chapter 7)  

Today my mind was blown by 2 Chronicles 7:12

“Then the Lord appeared to Solomon by night, and said to him: “I have heard your prayer, and have chosen this place for Myself as a house of sacrifice.”

‭‭II Chronicles‬ ‭7‬:‭12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

God said “No way Jose” (just kidding,  that’s some 4th grade humor for you)

God blessed Solomon & indeed granted him wisdom to lead God’s people. Solomon built the temple and chapter 7 is a beautiful ceremony where Solomon dedicates the temple. God appears a second time and says “I have heard your prayer”

The LORD constantly reminds me what a privilege it is, that we get to pray to our mighty God. We cry out to the God of the heavens and the Earth. We get to breathe prayers, pray silently or outloud, we can write in our prayer journals, we get to call out desperately to our big God we can scream our prayers, we can say them in a whisper or wimper or call out the 3-word prayer I say often “Jesus help me!” 

Solomon is clearly and unequivocally dedicated the temple and saying publicly- this is a place of prayer!

Many of us are familiar with 2 Chronicles 7:14 

 “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

‭‭This is a verse many of us have memorized. It appears to be almost a “template” for a prayer for our nation. 

God used the modifier if…

God is directing us to prayer.

God is inviting us to pray to Him and with Him. The Holy Spirit lives to make intercession so in many ways, we are calling God and saying “Would you pray with me?” 

God says, “I always pray. And Yes it would be lovely to pray with you”

2 Chronicles 7:12 should be a holy verse to us and reminder that God is a “choosing” God. God chose Abraham. God chose Isaac. God chose Jacob. God chose and selected David the son of Jesse. God sent Jesus who then chose “the 12” to be His disciples. 

God chose Saul and pre-ordained him to he melted and transformed into Paul. 

And here, way back in 2 Chronicles 7:12 God speaks and says “(I) have chosen this place for Myself as a house of sacrifice”

The LORD continues on and says

“When I shut up heaven and there is no rain, or command the locusts to devour the land, or send pestilence among My people, if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer made in this place. For now I have chosen and sanctified this house, that My name may be there forever; and My eyes and My heart will be there perpetually.”

‭‭II Chronicles‬ ‭7‬:‭13‬-‭16‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

My eyes and heart will be there perpetually

See, in the Old Testament, the people needed a “spot” to meet with God.

They needed a place to direct their gaze. They needed a location to offer sacrifices of lambs and rams and incense, etc.

… Jesus changed all of this!!! 

Jesus said to the Samaritan woman, you no longer need to search for certain places to worship God. God is not locational or seasonal. God is the only LORD over everything and everyone.

You you no longer needed to sacrifice a lamb to momentarily cover your sin. Jesus became the Lamb to permanently take away our sins! 

We no longer need to go to a temple to pray…

We now can pray DIRECTLY to God our Father in the Name of Jesus and inspired by the Holy Spirit.

God’s Holy Temple (like the One Solomon dedicated) is now within us.

 “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.”

‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬-‭17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Let’s praise God for making a new temple. You are the temple, I am the temple, we God’s people can pray and praise and lament and repent.

We are the temple of the living God! Let’s make this temple clean and welcoming for Him to dwell!  

Hot tears

 There they go….

I am not talking about the little misty eye or sweet tears that drop slowly.

These are hot tears…

The ones filled with pain…

I am sure I could google the reason behind why the tears flow warm…and sometimes “hot”

My hypothesis is this: they come from the core of your soul.

These hot tears flow like lava…the pain can’t be held back.

Or they can be warm from the outpouring of praise adoring King Jesus! 

These tears are to be offered to the LORD, the hot tears.

The ones you were embarrassed to release.

Give them to the LORD. 

New

“But the LORD says, “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already — you can see it now! I will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭18‬-‭19‬ ‭GNBUK‬‬

We all like “new”

I am different… I really enjoy vintage!

When my daughter Olivia was younger, I would take her with me to thrift stores and she told me one time “mommy, I like “new.”

Who doesn’t like “new?”

We all long for the day when Jesus will create new heavens and a new earth.

In Isaiah 43:19 the scripture says 

“Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

I love this verse.

What a comfort that God is going to do something new. When we become born again we are made brand new and are called a new creation. 

There is something about Christmas time that makes us nostalgic.

We remember the good ole days and we can get melancholy and down.

We remember our kids when they were younger and the days seemed simple and innocent.  

We remember loved ones who are gone and we miss the days when we could hug them.  

We think of family members who are estranged, or they are in jail or live in bondage to drugs and alcohol or live in a gay lifestyle and choose to stay away from home.

We recall the sweetest worship filled church services when the choir sang beautifully and the message was delivered with zeal. 

We miss the old days and we might even become depressed because Christmas today is “just not the same.”

Isaiah 43:18b in the Good News version says “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago.”

How convicting! 

As the saying goes we should only glance at the rear view mirror but stay focused primarily on the road ahead.  

I think one big reason God doesn’t want us to stay stuck in the past or linger at the old  days is because He has such good things planned for the future. 

If you watch the news, you can easily become discouraged and say the future looks dark and grim. That might be true from a worldly perspective, but it’s not true from God‘s point of view. 

The disciples were very despondent on the Saturday after the crucifixion. Jesus had died and He was buried. They remembered the 3 years of ministry and probably beat themselves up over and over again.

They needed a fresh start.

They needed to see Jesus again.

They needed a resurrection.

They needed to see a new thing.

Our God gives us beautiful seasons.

Seasons of tucking our kids in bed and crossing off the days until Christmas. 

Seasons of big family gatherings…and seasons when no one stops by to say hello.  

Seasons of plenty and lean seasons when the cupboards were bare.

Jesus Christ is the same- yesterday, today and forever.  

Whether your Christmas this year is joy-filled and delightful or painful and hard, Christ is all about the NEW. 

He wants us to long for heaven. 

Long for Him. 

He wants us to be heavenly minded and not get too comfortable here. 

May the Lord teach us to number our days…

May He help us not get caught up or tripped up by the past.

May we trust God in all seasons and enjoy this day- for it is truly a gift!