It’s not his fault

Dear Jesus, my king, you rule and reign over everything. 

Thank you for reminding me. 

It’s not his fault.

…on the drive up to Mammoth as we so often do over the summer;

We drive by the fault-lines

 the fault lines that reveal evidence of earthquakes.

Similarly, it’s not Isaac’s fault that there’s evidence of an earthquake in his heart and his behaviors and in his crippled mind. 

He didn’t ask to be born. 

He didn’t ask to be stuck in a two-year-old mindset with a 18 year-old man- frame 

it’s not his fault 

that the world looks at him with this disdain…

Stay in your seat!

 listen to the teacher!

 mind your manners!

 raise your hand if you have questions….

he’s never been able to follow any of those directives. 

He jumps around~ his old teacher called him “Tigger”

and he loves Winnie the Pooh & our son gives you forehead-Kisses too. 

It’s not his fault. 

We tried and tried to teach him how to put on his own shoe to learn math like 1+2 

We tried to teach him how to bow down and worship you

We tried to teach him the Ancient of Days is most certainly not through with you….

We tried to teach him that God so loved the world & He bled and died for you and you and you. 

It’s not his fault…

it’s not his fault his food doesn’t cook fast enough…. It’s not his fault he can’t wait for things. 

It’s not his fault. 

It’s not his fault he confuses the rules: that the weekend is different than school days. It’s not his fault. 

It’s not his fault 

We still have to use PECS to communicate. It’s not his fault that mom and dad are so clueless. 

It’s not his fault his mommy and daddy have bruises

It’s not his fault his 30 page IEP is so complicated…. once again Jesus You are the answer to the pain he unknowingly instigated…. 

Many life lessons have been taught by your son Isaac’s hand. 

You’ve taught us how to rely and depend on the Son of Man!

 …and for that we can say thank you son

for we know one day in heaven there will be no more stims or meltdowns or autism in your way…. you will be free to jump in the frozen lake…. to splash and smile and to put away heartache! 

We love you

we pray for you

….but some days are cruel to us and to you…

Help us LORD Jesus solely depend and rely on the grace that flows from you! 

Keeping Grace

 John 17~ He kept me

Secure with lock and key

He kept me with sufficient grace that sustains me

He kept me

Safe secure bound up in chords of love

Like a life vest or seatbelt harm that touches me can’t ever overcome

Your Keeping Grace

I now know this Amazing Grace

Is Keeping Grace

And Keeping Grace

Is Sustaining Grace

All for Love

All for the One

Who bled and died and His Name

Shall be Magnified

Zoom in

Look Hard

Look in

Then look on but zoom in you must

His Grace has kept me!

We sing a lot about Saving Grace

Jesus Loves me yes ‘tis true

But Keeping Grace endureth ‘til the race is completed too!

“I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me”

Christ your words in verse 20 of John 17 will now and forever baffle me

He kept me

Secure with lock and key

He kept me with sufficient grace that sustains me

He kept me

Amazing Grace I’ll sing the song

He saved a wretch like me…

But here in the Garden He prayed to the Father

Keep them “perfected in unity”

Not that request alone could satisfy

He continues in prayer so solemnly…

In confidence He asks the LORD:

“Father I desire that they also whom You have given Me be with Me where I am”

What a grand request from the Son to the Great I Am;

He wants nothing more than Glory for the Father and for His bride to be on His arm,

He kept me

He sustains me

Thus no trial or temptation shall cause me or you alarm!

Reflect

Commit

Repeat

Press in

Oh this magnificent grace!

Oh how He keeps us close!

And one day when faith is sight I’ll embrace the One I love most!

Tis His Grace His Face His Promise that shall forever endure and win,

Thank you God for keeping grace and forgiveness to cleanse my multiplied sin…

He loves me, He loves me not,

Sweet girls pick off petals from the flower,

But this I know I cannot wait to see you in my last hour!

This charming woman

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

Grant me the inner beauty that grants you delight...
Help me walk by faith and not by sight.

This charming man Morrissey sang in the sun,

but that shy boy did not know the battle of Annie get your gun...

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

Being nice is nice but it's not gonna endure forever,

lip gloss perfume lotion and fall make up Spawned a Monster in November

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

There is one lovely woman written about who surpasses them all,

The scriptures never notates if she is dark-skinned, light eyes, small or tall

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

We deck ourselves out with a matching clutch or delicious little bag,

We wear designer clothes and pray that our figures don't sag...

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

He did not have a stitch to wear,

A good girl will speak eloquently she will not drink smoke or swear.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

Good girls are described in Proverbs 31,

but Pretty Girls Make Graves, their ornate manicures and pedicures may be fun.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

Hairspray, botox, mall shopping sprees...

Even the Goodwill shopper can't make it to heaven with ease;

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

Jesus knows His own, they are painted and saturated with red...

they would rather be linked to Christ than to be known as simply pleasant, sweet or well-read,

"she's so cute" 

"Oh thanks, I get that a lot"

All the compliments in the world will decay fester and rot.

He is the supreme love of this girl on this page,

She doesn't dabble in horoscopes, gossip or cleanse her home by burning sage.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

She is pretty alright, more than all the typical gals who walk through the church doors,

To the world she is not attractive (but then again, neither was our LORD)

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

What is the point?

We have heard this over and over again.

Beethoven was Deaf and the Queen is now Dead

So go and Sing Your Life, I have heard that one too,

Here is my point I am desperately trying to impart to you.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing...

Only what is surrendered to Christ is lasting...

Summer is here, fall winter and spring are done.

The hot days require extra beauty treatments wax, sunscreen, fresh bikinis from racks,

if you were born with a silver spoon, you'll go to Nordy's or Saks.

Yes being girly and feminine is fun, that's not the point at all.

A girl's value is not found in Vogue, Cover Girl, or some artsy pinterest wall;

A girl grows to a woman and she treasures the Lord Jesus, she adores Him most,

She lets the Sonshine and waves her hand in a circular rhthymn as she cruises the coast.

She lets her hair down and washes His feet with her hair,

She knows her true beauty is found with her Savior, her charm is hidden there.

Mary Magdalene, the supremely stunning woman with the issue of blood,

These are the heroes and role models to this girl I speak of.

Although beauty is passing and charm will fade too,

Our God's love makes her more beautiful so teach your daughters this Truth too.

He is my Husband 

He is My Maker

He is my Source, my Drink my daily Bread

I'll humble myself and look silly in this life, all for the One who once said:

"Leave her alone! This woman's worship is mine alone, it is sweeter than jasmine or rose"

So come along and let's learn from her gleaning from Proverbs (it's 31) line by line written in prose.

We don't need to hate her or feel like we fail because we don't sew with a needle and thread,

For Christ's blood is sufficient to adorn us now and always, to the very end. 

Thank you sweet lady, for displaying your beauty tucked in the Scripture with care,

I can't wait to meet you and I know my mother, grandmother and co-laborers will all see you there!

The Hard and the Holy

 Help me, Lord help me. Help me worship you in the hard and holy.

Help me lay prostrate for as long as it takes. I’ll worship you while my heart breaks. 

Help me worship you in the hard and the holy. 

You are Jehovah Adonai… and 

all my days I’ll sing of your glory. 

But again, I ask you LORD, help me worship in the hard and the holy.

Bitterness and strife attempt to steal my joy, but I’ve learned to preach the gospel to myself. 

Who do I have but you?

What more can I ask but to learn from you?

Where can I run but to you?

Help me worship you in the hard and holy.

I lay prostrate tears fall on the carpet floor…

To you alone Worship was designed for.

Ancient of Days, Giver of Life and Eternal Hope forevermore…

Help me worship you in the hard and holy.

To you alone my heart doth beat so this praise song mingled with lament my soul shall repeat…

Help me worship you in the hard and holy.

Others may laugh me to scorn, friends of Job they carry on…

Still Yahweh of Host I choose this request all the day long…

Help me worship you in the hard and holy.

One day the hard will be violently taken away, the holy alone will forever remain.

You are God, You are Good and the Promises of your Word shall never wane. 

Grant me the desires of my heart to worship you in this hard desert land, until that final day when more of your glory  I will see…

Every day Abba Father, more of you and a lot less of me…

Help me worship you in the hard and holy.

A New Prayer A New Song: A Sound Mind

May the LORD touch Isaac's inner thought life, heal him and give him a sound mind.

May Isaac not overthink or under-think.

May Isaac not over-feel or under-feel...God Almighty Giver of Good Gifts- give Isaac a sound mind.

May the anxious thoughts fly away like the balloons he loves to release.

Abba Father hear my cry!

Lord Jesus, Lord of Heaven, give Isaac a sound mind.

We were at the beach, all was serene...but things were not precisely as they seem...

Jesus Christ, the Holy One, give Isaac a sound mind.

He became upset, the torrential rains of a melt down began...

I do not know where one melt down ends, and a new one shall commence...

Abba Father, dear Parent in Heaven, give Isaac a sound mind.

He knows not what to do...constant caregiving is assigned to him...

It was not his fault as John 9 so clearly explains, but by God's Sovereign grace, this life

was pre-ordained.

Holy Spirit, Great Comforter, give Isaac a sound mind.

He likes the same things over and over. He repeats phrases, and loves to count with numbers.

He doesn't make sense, scripting the schedule of the day over and over...

I wish I could relate, I wish for just one day I could be his friend.

Dear Spirit of the Living God, give Isaac a sound mind.

Speech often coarse and unintelligible, listen attentively to what he's trying to say.

Oh thank you dear LORD, no melt downs so far today...

Yahweh of Hosts, Isaac's battle fighter, give him a sound mind.

I never thought to pray over his thoughts, as scrambled and chaotic as they might be...

You created him special and what's dark to others is bright as day to thee...

Elohim Creator God, give him a sound mind.

Isaac's disability is obvious; any onlooker can tell.

When he does something strange it rings an inner bell.

"Oh yeah, I have a disabled relative too, someone I knew from afar...

but this kid is aggressive, you can't even interact with him or share his space.

It's like he is other worldly not really belonging to this human race."

God of Jacob, Lord of heaven and earth, give Isaac a sound mind.

Others have issues and disabilities too. 

The sin problem exists for me and it is true for you too.

Our disability is hidden, masked like a plastic façade you can't see it until you pray.

Your sin issue was showing, it leaked out the other day.

All have sinned and fall short of God's glory, the scripture declares.

Isaac's issue is inner mind disability He can't explain what is going on...

We are always guessing always problem solving, always trying to tap in...

But again the underlying problem is not autism -the deeper root of the problem is sin.

Isaac is disabled within at no fault of his own.

But by God's grace in heaven a new body he'll finally embrace.

Our sin must be pardoned, we must let Christ Jesus be our Advocate- only He can overturn our case.

The sins pile to the sky and wrap around the galaxy and then come back.

Christ's blood is sufficient, He paid for every sin, skillfully living a righteous life on our behalf.

Oh Isaac I sing "Jesus Loves Me" to you, I remind you each day. 

I must remind myself when my patience runs thin and on empty my tank often remains.

My cup runneth over the Psalmist David reminds me, and Jesus said

for you shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free.

Oh Isaac, my boy you are now a young man, go ahead splash around in the ocean and feel free to play like a toddler in the sand.

You are grown and it's hard, but my faith is secure, for a sound mind is gifted as we dig deep into God's Holy Word.

You may not be able to read the Bible, or write an essay, or attend church, but the Gospel you're life is preaching like a modern chapter and verse.

You teach me, you teach Daddy and big sister Livy too.

For a sound mind we have learned to appreciate while we daily care and pray often for you. 

A New Song I sing out of the mouth of babes it is released,

for the curse is broken, and a new song is birthed out of hope and peace.

Jehovah Shalom we are grateful that we can love those who are hard to love;

Grant us patience, wisdom and insight to care for those with special needs and trapped in their minds. 

For God our Creator makes all creatures even people like Isaac....

For in reality we are all misfits who need our Savior's pardon and grace to radiate upon us like sunshine.