I was just trying to say bye to you.
I don't know what triggered you.
It seems no matter what I try, you'll never get that I am here for you.
I was just trying to say bye to you.
I tried to pray, it's ok if your busy holding the iPad getting dressed for the day
I went in your bedroom to say "bye" and you jumped and grumbled...what are you trying to say?
I was just trying to say bye to you.
You kick, bite, pinch, and pulled my hair really hard
I don't get what I did wrong, I don't get why we have this wrestling match...Holy Spirit protect me, please stand guard!
I was just trying to say bye to you.
I am your dad, I never had one who was sober and awake...
I love you I try to help you, a nice home for you I'll make...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
I put in a pool, I bought a new car...
I'll do anything we have to, I'll drive us real far...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
you'll never understand, "iPad broken" you say in broken speech...
every word you say is confusing...I get scared, beyond your behaviors no one can reach...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
I pray, please understand, my prayer that morning was more for me than for you...
I've been trained for years and years "this is what good dads should do"
I was just trying to say bye to you.
"when dad see right back" a snack I must bring
hurry daddy, go inside Lowe's to your hand I used to cling....
I was just trying to say bye to you.
You were born blue, I knew it then, a different son I just had...
Never a skateboard, a Bible, a notebook in your hand...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
You are tall now, and with a beard, look like me that you sure do,
but son please calm down, breathe, I don't want to see these things ....my arms are black and blue...
the bruises will heal, the bite marks will too, mom's hair will grow back...but in this season we can't reach you...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
You used to smile and squeal, jump and play...
after work you would never run up and greet me "hi daddy you're home! did you have a good day? What's up dad? I have a crush on a girl, she's like mom, she loves Jesus a lot"
these kind of phrases are not real, not my reality, not a part of my lot...
mom and I argue about what is best for you...we talk analyze and seek the Holy Spirit's guidance day by day...
you see...through it all...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
I was just trying to pray....
In heaven you'll be free, no buckle-bot, no broken iPads or broken teeth, under the weight of our sin, Christ was crushed beneath
I'm tired son. I love you. I really really do. This world is a round circle, but what shape are you?
A triangle? A trapezoid? I have tried and tried...all of my dreams...have finally died.
One day in heaven...you'll see my heart beat, with your face written on it "Isaac's daddy" you'll finally meet...we'll all understand!
we can't connect, you and I ....I cannot feel close to you.
I was just trying to say bye to you...but I'll walk away now...battered and bruised.
I'll pray and wait and let God have His way, until one day my prayers will be answered and you won't push my hugs away....
Momma cries, I invent new systems to help...
but one day Christ's embrace will forever be our rest...
i hope you see by all of this...I am truly just trying my best.
Son, you are my boy, I was there when you fell...
I was there when you broke your teeth...
I was there when you seized.
I was there in the hospital on our way to CHOC, Dr. Loudon you'll meet...
medicines, supplements, a new ipad too...
I'll pray from a distance...
I was just trying to say bye to you.
