A Letter of Grief and Consolation

Wednesday, September 10, 2025

A Letter of Grief and Consolation

 

Dear Erika Kirk,

I am so sorry.

I do not have words.

Please avoid social media right now.

People are so incredibly unkind & evil. 

They do not have the mind of Christ.

They are lost souls.

Father forgive them for they know not what they do.

This prayer is easier said than done.

I am so crippled with despair over your husband’s murder and this assassination.

I hate that you and your children must live and move on without your husband.

So young, so brilliant, so willing to put himself out there to champion truth.

Please know there are many women and men out there praying for you.

There are moms holding you up -praying for comfort to the King of Kings and LORD of LORDS.

We know the Scriptures say the end of days will grow more and more evil.

People will call evil good and good evil.

We see that in your beloved’s death.

Some called it good and it makes me want to vomit.

I am so so sorry.

Though I have never met you, you clearly freed up your husband to do ministry!

You are more than a conqueror Erika and God will indeed turn your sorrow to joy!

Your husband was involved in so much ministry!

No, he was not a pastor per se. He did not serve as a teacher in a church pulpit or build houses or wells in a distant land …his ministry, his mission field-- the college campuses, the young people, the airwaves;

He championed truth and wanted to reach the lost HERE in USA. What a brave soldier indeed. His calling sure and now his mission complete. But your pain & lament-dear God have mercy!

I pray you find comfort in knowing his light definitely shined bright.

He was hated and killed like so many truth warriors. Jesus wept and we weep now over your husband’s death. You will never live a day the same. Praying your can find comfort in the psalms, in the Gospel and in the reality that your husband is with the LORD!

Was he a perfect man? No one is.

But he was yours and you were his and you sleep alone tonight.

Your babies will cuddle you. You cradled them, now they’ll cradle you.

You have a new baton. A faith baton to pass on to your children that daddy’s light was here momentarily. His life mattered. His life was well lived. Your husband showed an intense deep passion for God, and Truth and to see change in America. 

He was unapologetic in a world that is always saying

“I am sorry I assumed gender”

“I am sorry I say that the Bible calls sin, I am sorry I even said the word sin”

He did not bow to Caesar.

We grieve.

We mourn.

We pray for your comfort, today, tomorrow and throughout your life and the lives of your babies who will grow up in this country.

I do not have more words, only tears and agony of heart! I feel comfort in that I and so many countless others worldwide are grieving with you and praying for God to heal, save and change America, one debate at a time. Many more debates will continue. They will continue in living rooms, in coffee shops, around the kitchen table and even at night over a phone or tv screen. Your husband sparked debate and clearly America did not get the memo. We don’t even recognize this country anymore. 

We won’t stop praying for you Erika!

You are not forgotten by our LORD and you are not forgotten by us praying friends. We are the body of Christ.

The atheist may type and mock sentiments like “thoughts and prayers” 

but we pray to Jehovah Jireh God our Provider, we pray to Jesus Messiah-the King of all Kings and Lord of all LORDS, we pray to our God Almighty who is bigger and mightier and more powerful than any president, king, sage, professor, scholar or earthly leader. 

We pray to our God Elohim. 

We pray to the Judge of all the earth. 

We pray to Jesus Christ who said He alone is the Way the Truth and the Life.

We pray and even with mournful tears, we praise, because like Job, we know your husband’s life will bear much fruit, multiplied fruit…even beyond the year 2025.

Hang in there sister. 

Jesus Christ lives to make intercession for you.

With much love, affection and encouragement in Christ,

Laura Gonzalez

Gratitude

LORD help me be a grateful girl, not a jealous girl.

Let my voice be heard in the morning!
Let my prayer of gratitude rise to you and adoration be for you alone.

Help me be a grateful girl.

In the quiet

In the stillness

Help me be a grateful girl

stop scrolling 

stop thinking

stop over thinking

Help me be a grateful girl

I have much to be grateful for

I do not want to grumble and mumble and say words that are jumbled

I desire to be filled with gratitude for your sovereign steadfast love which is truly better than life

Help me be a grateful girl

I think of the missionaries no running water

I think of the cancer patients some a dear son or daughter

Help me be a grateful girl

For food in the fridge clothes on my back

Always praise God! There is food to fill a lunch sack

Help me be a grateful girl

Longing eyes are not just in the scriptures as David glared at Bathsheba

I can long too

Long for the past when my kids were small and I had so much tending to do

Help me be a grateful girl

Longing for a weekend getaway with my husband

or to be able to say "Happy Birthday" out loud

longing for unlocked doors or to walk freely with Isaac and Olivia in a crowd

Help me be a grateful girl

I love you LORD my lips shall sing, even with a bite mark on my arm a permanent tattoo ring

Help me be a grateful girl

I am grieved as I look at these medications for my son's inner mind, to derail seizures in his head

Help me see with your eyes dear LORD for one day one day no more tears on my bed

LORD help me be a grateful girl

Let my voice be heard in the morning, at noon and in the twilight of my life

Let my prayers of gratitude rise to you and sing for the Cross crushed all these temporary pain-filled trials and strife

LORD help me

Mold me 

Shape me

to a grace-filled girl

My name is written!

 My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life;

Not with ink and pen but neatly etched and then stained with blood...

My name? Me LORD?

Yes, it's written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

Who is worthy to open the scroll?

One Alone!

The Lamb chosen to be slain...

The One who will be the Bridegroom to one chosen wife;

My name in blood jotted down in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I can scarcely handle it, the gravity of my sin...you see it like a movie reel over and over again...

Even though I don't want to...

My DNA and behavior shows my propensity to hurt you with sin, but yet I humbly bow to the Lamb who graciously hands me over to the Father!

Jesus, I am yours! 

Captured by Grace

Captured by Love

I fall in merciful layers of love

You my LORD are the Lamb of God my King and Savior

Purge me with hyssop

Cleanse me day by day...

I still can't believe it, as you are acquainted with all my ways!

My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I am wedded to thee.

I care not of the dress from hell to heaven you have changed my eternal address...

My RSVP, your blood shed for me...

Thank you my LORD for being the Lamb who was slain on Calvary!

 My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life and forever I get to praise the Ancient of Days!

Privilege

 Who else gets to wash the dust off your feet?

What a privilege

Work hard enjoy

God has gifted you all things the highs and the lows

The breakthroughs and the blows

What a privilege

People look on and smile

What a peculiar sight! 

A little mama and a man-child who is her delight

What a privilege

There were days

I cried til my head pounded for days

Taking aspirin begging God to take all this emotion away

Why must I toil only to get  attacked in the morn?

I wore a smile but inside my feelings and spirit did groan 

Oh What a privilege

God has given us daily bread

And today this day is the Lord’s day the psalmist wrote while laying on his grassy bed 

Oh What a privilege

To help you morning through evening and even before dawn or middle of the night

Others just see a t-shirt and think what a strange sight

The battle is long the rested moments are few

But I praise God our Father who specifically granted this assignment namely - YOU

Oh What a privilege

Eat drink and be merry King Solomon said

For one day we’ll all be in the grave and a eulogy will be read

He gives us good gifts although it’s true your container is strange

But so is unconventional love…

Love the disabled the crooked the bent over with Christ at the helm we can love through every season and stage

The prayers for healing are few and far between

Long past are the days you fit on my knee

You are grown but still a child only 3 or 4 in your mind

Wait dear son for the rewards our Savior shall hand to you in heaven….all in His providential time  

From eternity past

Oh What a privilege

In this present pain

Oh What a privilege

In His Sovereign plan for you

Oh What a privilege

In my hands so much work to do

Oh What a privilege

Isaiah 53 etched in my mind

How close are you to Him dear son of mine?

I can’t tell 

no one can 

The prayers of those with

Autism, cerebral palsy, non-verbal or talkative and composed

The Savior knows ! 

The Spirit knows your faith in the Father like lilies in spring does grow! 

What a privilege

Oh Comforter

Oh Comforter

Oh God of all comfort

Please shelter me

I’m like the scared child hiding under the tree

Rid me of all earthly comforts

be ever close to me 

For your shoulders are broader than any others

  

Oh Comforter

Oh God of all comfort

Please shelter me

I’m so sorry Father

Forgive me for I have sinned

For I have often craved comforts deep within

The soothing voice of a friend

The soft sound of rain

The tears I’ve longed to cry but instead I refrain

Only you comfort me 

My song shall rise to thee

Oh Comforter

Oh God of all comfort

Please shelter me

I long for things 

Like coffee and bread

I think very little of the judgment or wrath

Yet on your bosom I must rest

And lean upon your staff   

For you alone bled and died 

On that cruel cross my Lord you were crucified 

Oh Comforter

Oh God of all comfort

Please beckon me

You alone are God, announced to Moses as the

I am that I am

May I accept your comforting love even at 3am

It was not the dog barking

Or the wind chime that caused my eyes to pop

It was your love wooing me to pray and let the weight of the day finally drop

I collapse into your presence

In your arms I rest

I lay myself down surrendered

My life on your chest 

my sorrows turned to joy like Job these trials were all just a test  

Oh Comforter

Oh God of all comfort

Please bolster me

My dwelling place

My home the only comfort I truly need

Your Word my sustenance your scriptures my soul receives

I say farewell to the earthly comforts and a life of ease

For what I have in your nearness oh Comforter is where my spirit finds peace

Might Shed a Tear

It’s here 

It’s here

Senior here

I might shed a tear

No cap and gown at the end of this year for you

I’m so glad you can attend until you are twenty-two

No new car, cell phone, or senior trip to plan

Isaac as your parents we are simply proud you can speak and say “mom and dad”

A large appetite you love to eat snacks meals and treats

In the backyard there is a concrete imprint of your tiny feet 

I might shed a tear

I knew this day would come

I knew one day you would turn eighteen on a chilly January day in 2026

Your issues no human being can fix

I continue to cook and cut your food

Put on your shoes 

I might shed a tear

Making dental medical and legal appointments

For all of your  years and the next year

I am so grateful Jesus has always and continues to be here 

He has been forever faithful to you! 

I might shed a tear, one tear then two

People say you are handsome, I can’t help but agree

Your smile…when it’s genuine and not forced means the world to me

My daughter taught me to laugh, you have taught me to cry

To lay my head in Christ’s bosom and give Him my sacred sighs

The larger world unknown

To vote

Buy a lottery ticket

Or be considered “legal” to you is quite lame

You’d rather lay on the bed and play a toddler iPad game

How you’ve matured in weight and height and strength 

Many people see Dad’s facial features & they say you both look the same

I might shed a tear

Oh my son - you are clearly now a man

One day dear LORD Jesus in heaven I’ll finally understand

Then, only then, I will no longer shed a tear

 

Sentimental

Call me crazy....or a bit too sentimental

I am so grateful His yoke is easy and His burden is gentle

Fragile

Breakable

Tender

a Wimp

Nothing in me says this life is a cinch

I want Jesus to hold me and reserve my seat with Him in the sky

Only by His blood can I rest and sing and worship morning noon and nigh

This world isn't it

Not by a long shot

Satan tempted tested and tried to destroy Job and took all that he got

But he couldn't strike him...not the person deep within

When we go through trials and testing, we realize how wretched is our nature imbedded with sin

After all Job went through, he actually repented and continued to worship our LORD

He realized the test just helped him see God and he fell lower to the floor

My eyes run and my mascara runs too

I try to explain it but my words are too many and at other times too few

Paul summed it up perfectly when he said "The things I don't want to do, I do and the things I should do I don't"

Christ died for sinners and no matter how people try to drown their sorrows the sin issue just floats

My emotions are everywhere

Just like Job, sadly, well-meaning friends sometimes do not help

I feel so discouraged like my life is sitting there dusty on the shelf

Why put me on the shelf LORD? Like a discarded book all tattered and torn

Oh my child you are incorrect in your assessment on the shelf you cannot be

For my light shines brightest when you tell the world about Me

The tears are not signs of weakness but rather deep deep love

For when Lazarus died, I too wept 

Lean on Me

Rest in Me

Trust in Me

Remember when the Holy Spirit descended like a dove?

I did not need to be baptized; it was symbolic you see

One day I would hang and die and shed My blood for thee

Don't be too sentimental about these changes in life

For Solomon's pleasures just ended in strife

Queen Esther was a queen yes, but an orphan and poor Jewish girl too

Please just remember I am not quite through with you

The branch isn't much if it's cut off from the tree

but since I am the Vine the branch's value is when it is deeply connected to Me

Your feelings aren't bad, as long as you bring them to Me

Let me comfort your aching heart let me show you more of Me

"What are you learning old friend?

What light of the prism of grace in Christ do you see today?"

I sometimes wish people talked like this...and simply put their phones away

LORD give us this day our daily bread

May we feast on your grace

For one day our sentiments and feelings will explode in the light of your glory and at your supper we'll taste

Help us LORD let go of the past, enjoy today and tomorrow trust in your plan, I'll obey you and lay down my feelings as I stare at the Savior's nail scarred hands